UrbanRhetoric

Frida....by pemora

2012-02-02T18:53:00.002-05:00

I kinda love this. A lot.

National Good Day Day

2012-01-28T06:54:00.001-05:00

In case you missed it, Donovan Strain has figured out the date of that good day....

Subway Singer Covers Adele....by pemora

2012-01-16T16:34:00.000-05:00

There aren't many things I miss about NYC subway life. Actually, between my claustrophobia + germaphobia, I don't miss it very much. Except for 1 thing -- I do miss the various underground performances. From the Michael Jackson impersonator to the group of young breakdancers (although they never really danced, did they? They would always drop a hot song + just rile each other about how they were going to rip it), I was constantly entertained. Check out this video to see an amazing subway performance.

I hate children's music, but are my kids ready for Hip Hop?...by dough

2012-01-06T19:48:00.001-05:00

Children's music isuniversally atrocious. It is trite and tedious. An endless seaof monotony that crushes ones humanity with unrelenting waves of banal tedium. At first it laps gently at the shores of your sanity. It is a barely feltcurrent, swathing your new baby in passivity and lulling him to sleep. Slowly it seeps into diaper changes and car rides, please touch museumsand toy stores. It's suddenly everywhere and you are caught in the swellof its undertow. You gasp for Nas, Mos Def, Kanye, but it's too late,your lungs are already saturated with Three Blind Mice, Itsy Bitsy Spider andsomething called "Raffi". Children's music is devious. It'sborn of platitudes and gentle hell fire. It's boring and insidious. It is the incarnate soul of the devil.

Perhaps I've tipped mytoe into hyperbole but while some hazards of parenthood are often discussed:the lack of sleep, the constant worrying, the lack of free time - no one evertalks about the terrible and omnipresent music. Car rides, play time, diaperchanges, bath time, museums, stores - all come with the regular and insistentjack hammering of fairy tales and nursery rhymes and dead eyed automatons soullessly numbing your humanity and sapping your will tofight back. But not entirely.

Any music lover thuslyassaulted, will, after some time, come to rebel against this aural malaise andultimately arrive at the same cure: Either find children's music byartists you can tolerate (in my case nearly impossible) or introduce your childrento the music you love. I wanted my kids to know Hip Hop (and all themusic I love) but, for me, there were two key drivers. On the one hand,Hip Hop is such a looming and significant part of my life that it is importantto me to introduce my kids to the culture and the music that I immerse myselfin daily (or at least I used to). On the other hand, I can't listen to"Wheels on the bus" another damn time. So I made up my mind,but that's where the trouble started.

My first thought was:"Just turn on the radio, dummy! The radio has good music and it'scensored. It's a win-win". Actually, it's a lose-lose as I was wrong onboth accounts. Here are the top five most played songs on Hot 97 (thelocal Hip-Hop & R&B station) for the week of December 27th 2011:

1. Dance(Ass) - Big Sean featuringNicki Minaj

o This track must have the record for the mosttimes "Ass" is said in a single song.

2. Ni**asin Paris - Jay-Z &Kanye West

o This song is awesome but it seems like they'reactively trying to do the worst censoring job they can.

3. SheWill - Lil Waynefeaturing Drake

o There is nothing redeeming about this song.

4. WorkOut - J. Cole

o Same old "shake that ass girl" garbagethat reminded me why I don't listen to the radio any more.

5. Makeme proud - Drake featuringNicki Minaj

o This passes for positive. *sigh*

One good song in the top5? And none I want my kids to hear? Radio is not the move. For the record, the Pop and Rock stations are just as unacceptable. That said, I don't want to begrudge any adult from listening to whateverthey want. Even on the radio. I don't even care if they playuncensored screaming on the radio. Just have a way to warn me and let meshield my kids from it. And you can make judgments about what'sappropriate for your kids. That said, I still want to listen to *my* songs andwhile I want to expose my kids to the music that I love, I'm wary of themgetting over-exposed. So it occurred to me that maybe I should thinkthrough exactly what my criteria are for songs I want my kids to hear. Icame up with what I thought were two reasonable rules:

1. No words I didn't wantto hear repeated at Grandma's house

2. No phrases or concepts Ididn't want to explain

At first blush theseseem reasonable and should leave me with a huge selection. I think ofmyself as a *real* Hip Hop fan. I love the golden age, backpack,underground, modern classics etc. I hate "Bitches & Bling","Da Club" and all the crap that goes with that (with someexceptions). Surely it should be easy to find some tracks that meet mycriteria. In truth, it's possible but it requires some serious leg work. Here are some classics I thought would obviously work until I re-listenedto them with an ear to the above rules. Note that my kids are 2.5 and 6months so my criteria might ease up in a few years:

Don't Curse - Various Artists

How could this possibly offend? Kool G Rap: "Even made a record on how I'm doing on my B-I-T-C-H-es"

I can - Nas

Great message but lots of drug and other references

Definition - Black Star

"Mos Def & Kweli just, make a pussy freeze up, thinking of it, ease up"

They Reminisce Over You - Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth

"We laughed all night about the hookers at the party"

Me, Myself & I - De La Soul

Cool message until problems are resolved with violence: "I'll calmly punch them in the 4th day of July"

Jesus Walks - Kanye West

Hell no

My Philosophy - Boogie Down Productions

Great until: "How many MCs must get dissed, before somebody says 'Don't fuck with Kris'"

Woo-Ha!! I got you all in check - Busta Rhymes

The chorus is: "I got that head nod shit to make you break your neck"

Cha Cha Cha - MC Lyte

"Well Well Well, I'll be damned"

It Takes Two - Rob Base & DJ Easy Rock

"I like the whopper, fuck the big mac"

Public Enemy #1 - Public Enemy

"I'll show you my gun; my Uzi weighs a ton"

Case of the P.T.A. - Leaders of the New School

"What the Hell's going on"

Even a song called"Don't Curse" fails the criteria? Wow. In all honesty though,some of these are not really that bad. The censoring in "It TakesTwo" is pretty blatant but I don't think that's really a deal breaker and"Case of the P.T.A." and "Cha Cha Cha" are even more of astretch. That kind of stuff I think I can probably let slide. Whathurts more is songs like "I Can" which I think have a good messagebut too much other content that I'm not ready for my kids to start grapplingwith.

I think what it comesdown to is that I was hoping for an easy solution. Unfortunately, likeeverything else with kids, I needed to step up and be a parent first. It's not easy to vet a ton of songs from my library but if I want tolisten to them with my kids then it's something I've got to do. Ofcourse, once I put in that initial work it's not so bad. I ended upmaking a playlist of songs that I thought were appropriate. It started outsmall (mostly instrumentals) and when I found time I added a song here and asong there. At this point it's well over 2000 songs of both children'smusic and songs I like. It fits on my phone, so I can bring the list oncar rides or play it during dinner time and I don't have to worry about whatmight come up next or hearing the same awful tune over and over. Muchlike the children it's intended for, the process was a huge pain in the ass butultimately I think it's worth it.

Happy New Year!

2011-12-31T16:49:00.002-05:00

From the entire UR familia, we want to wish you a grand ol' happy new year. Leave 2011 behind and focus on all of the good that 2012 has to bring. Be safe tonight and enjoy!

Most Played in 2011

2011-12-30T12:00:00.000-05:00

It is always interesting to see what people were listening to the most over the course of the year. Of course, this is just a small sampling of friends-to-UR but it is nice to see that no one repeated each others' choices. We rock.

All of the Lights ~Kanye West [Mooks]
Someone to Love Me ~Mary J Blige ft Diddy + Lil Wayne [The Way of the Id]
Wake Up Alone ~Amy Winehouse [MissDTM]
Shiraz ~Action Bronson [Jayare]
F*ck You ~Cee Lo [pemora]
La Cura ~Frankie Ruiz [paj1]
Give Me Everything ~Pitbull ft Ne-yo + Afrojack [DJ Shakez]
Midnight City ~M83 [Pete]
I'm On One ~Dj Khaled ft. Drake, Rick Ross + Lil Wayne [Kev from BK]
Ni**as in Paris ~Jay-z + Kanye [dough]
So Hard ~Joell Ortiz [IMTHATDUDE]

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO [review]...by IMTHATDUDE

2011-12-29T19:10:00.007-05:00

(the stream of consciousness review)

Brutal sexual contact (the kind that makes Tom Dubois from the Boondocks stay on the straight and narrow path), revenge, violence, serial killers, Nazis, graphic female nudity, thin bisexual “Emo” chicks, car/motorcycle chase(s), and the overarching theme of a whodunit - combine to form the American adaptation of Stieg Larsson’s “thriller” The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Sorry, Stieg. I gave the book a shot, but I was bored well into the book and you only get between 50-75 pages to pique my interest. FAIL. Some 30 million copies later, I doubt you’re looking for the approval of ThatDude – but you should be. For those who haven’t read the book (again, I have a copy, if you need it), I hear that it really picks up after the first 100 pages; I just don’t give a Swedish fish. I’m onto the next one.

Inevitably, people compare the American adaptation to the original Swedish version. Conventional wisdom says that I should do the same. Nah, homey. This is America! I aint gotta do nuthin but eat Wendy’s and complain about politicians & “smart” phones. Forget the Swedish version. We got stars like Daniel Craig, Christopher Plummer, Joely Richardson, and Rooney Mara - plus we’ve got the genius of David Fincher at the helm. Who’d they have? Roomi something and Nyqvist… Nyquil… whatever. When it comes to movies, America could tell the rest of the world what Harpo said in The Color Purple “dis here our juke joint!”

VITALS

David Fincher (Fight Club, The Social Network) - Director

Steven Kaillan (Schindler’s List, American Gangster) - Writer
Stieg Larsson (Dragon Tattoo Series) – Source Writer

Rooney Mara (The Social Network) – Lisbeth Salander – the Girl with the Dragon Tat
Daniel Craig (Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace) – Mikael Blomkvist

Christopher Plummer (Priest, Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus) – Henrik Vanger

Stellan Skarsgard (Thor, Melancholia*) – Martin Vanger

Robin Wright (The Conspirator**, Moneyball) – Erika Bergman

Joely Richardson (The Patriot, TV’s Nip/Tuck) – Anita Vanger

* Aside: Melancholia was depressing, beautifully shot, and a definite competitor for one of the not so good Shammi Awards – so very overhyped.

**Bside: Fellow history-buffs – pick up the Conspirator when you get a chance. Sure, it’s preachy (it’s a Robert Redford flick), but it’s pretty good too.

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

Blomkvist (Craig) is retained by Henrik Vanger (Plummer) to help him find out which one of his psychotic family members killed his beloved granddaughter some 40-ish years ago. This same killer has sadistically been tormenting Henrik annually since the girl was killed. Blomkvist, an embattled reporter, in turn hires the crafty waif-like super-emo investigator, Lisbeth Salander (Mara) to help him “catch a killer of women.” Lisbeth, an adult ward of the state, is a bit touched herself (you don’t find out the genesis of her psychosis until the sequel), but let’s just say, this poor woman has had a rough like verging on torture porn. She’s like a Swedish-Precious but with access to mad doe (of the non edible variety) and in dire need of a hamburger.

Rooney Mara was AWESOME. Shammi Award worthy, fo sho’, but the rest of the film was underwhelming. Let me say that again, ROONEY MARA was AWESOME! There’s a lot that could and should have made the cutting room floor. I’m not a “purist” when it comes to books. If you want all the stuff that’s in the book, read the damned book again. I think books are books and movies are movies – some things do not translate.

While Stieg’s book may have been literary brilliance, the movie is not the film equivalent. Fincher strikes an appropriate tone for the content, but overall The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is like a mash-up of a Troublemaker and Vivid Entertainment film. Translation: It’s a mash-up of Quentin Tarantino flick with a porn flick (sans the moneyshots). Whether you admit it or not, I guarantee most of you have enjoyed some significant portion of one or the other… but imagine if either or a mash-up of the two lasted for nearly 3 HOURS! Under no circumstances should that happen.

Definitely a decent flick, but BETTER NOT BRING YO’ KIDS!

BONUS COVERAGE: I have nowhere to fit this comment in so I’m just gonna throw this out there – I love WOMEN. The things you critique about other women never ceases to astound. It was interesting how the supposed group of well-read learned female audience goers (on the movie’s release date) were focused on how Rooney’s breasts were still “so nice, especially with how thin she was.” I KID YOU NOT. This was the topic of conversation with not 1, not 2, but 3 separate groups of women I eavesdropped on as I exited the theater. Granted, my eavesdropping powers tend to sharpen around women talking about sex-related stuff, but still... Really, ladies? There’s at least two more important things than those two things for you to discuss, but her boobs and Rooney’s accent are the things that garnered most of your immediate attention? ‘Tis truly a strange strange society we live in.

ImTHATdude gives Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: 3

RATING SYSTEM:

5 = You should be about halfway to the theatre by now… Well… GET!
4 = Definitely worth the bread. Niiice.
3 = I won’t cuss anybody out and demand my paper back.
2 = Somewhere SOUTH of under-whelmed./I know it has a pulse, but…
1 = Not a good look. They played me AND I played myself.

In My Bag [Pete]

2011-12-29T16:44:00.002-05:00

I have not done one of these posts in a long time. Call it the nosey-parker in me but I always love seeing the contents of one's bag. Pete runs the blog The Wasted Talent and if you see him on street, he might even take a picture of you. Check out the contents of his bag...

15" MacBook Pro
15" Chrome sleeve for MacBook pro
1xLeather bound journal
1xSee sunglasses
Matix pouch with USB drives
2x moleskin books
1x micron pen
1x pencil (muji?)
6" Wacom intuos 4 tablet
Mimi Fisher for Roger Water's "wall tour" leather sleeve
Canon S95
Kindle 4

Drop us a line via twitter if you are interested in participating...just dump out your bag + take a pic!

SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS [review]....by IMTHATDUDE

2011-12-29T16:27:00.010-05:00

When debating what movie to write a review for first, one of my good friends (my play cousin – bearing the same surname as me) declared emphatically “Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock!” That was a pretty convincing argument from my erudite friend whose initials are interestingly MMM.

VITALS

Guy Ritchie (Snatch, Sherlock I) – Director

Michele and Kieran Mulroney (Paper Man) - Writers

Robert Downey, Jr. (Iron Man, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang) – Sherlock Holmes

Jude Law (Closer, Alfie) – Dr. Watson

Noomi Rapace (Girl with the Dragon Tatoo Series – the Swedish ones) – Madam Simza

Rachel McAdams (Morning Glory, Midnight in Paris) – Irene Adler

Jared Harris (Mad Men) – Prof. Moriarty

Kelly Reilly (The Libertine, Pride & Prejudice) – Mrs. Dr. Watson

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

Sherlock Holmes investigates one of what he believes to be an interconnected series of crimes committed all across the Western world. His chief suspect, Prof. Moriarty – the man he believes to be the mastermind behind these acts of violence and terrorism. That’s all I can or should tell you about the plot. Sherlock Holmes is not exactly the kind of series/movie that is properly given to describing any detailed version of events because doing so would jeopardize the whole scheme. It’s a detective story… you have to watch the movie as they detect stuff.

If you liked the first reboot (yes, there were many Sherlock Holmes films, based on the Arthur Conan Doyle stories, prior to Guy Ritchie and RDJ), you should really enjoy this one. That said, the action was virtually relentless. The comedy was well-timed. The fight scenes although unnatural in their depiction, are so utterly realistic that you have to applaud the fight coordinator for not using harnesses and making these mortals fly about as if they were mutants (that’s another movie entirely). You don’t mind the fact that as my niece said and I quote “Jude Law is NOT a leading man. That’s why he needs somebody like Robert Downey, Jr. in every movie.” Out of the mouths of babes… Wow, she’s growing up sooooo fast.

So, with all the action, the intrigue, and the comedy, one might ask, why would That Dude have a problem with the movie at all? That’s a good question. The answer is simple – homoeroticism. I had to subtract a full point for it. I’m sorry. I know that sounds like I’m a phobe. Let me clarify… I have a real problem with how these movies nowadays have taken to what has become an easy way to solicit a cheap moment of levity. Robert Downey Jr. cross dressing! Aha! That’s funny. Everyone will LOVE it, right? QUALIFIED SPOILER ALERT: Having Jude Law (the irony of him being considered “pretty” is not lost here) and RDJ dodging bullets from a gatling large gun (phallic much???) whilst locked in a spooning embrace on the floor with RDJ - shirtless and in lipstick donning a frilly dress… really, yo? In truth, most of the audience laughed during that scene. So the eff what? Half those people would laugh at a Madea movie. I’m not impressed. Can we NOT find some other way to infuse a moment of levity these days? I hate to criticize a writer – now that I know how difficult it is to put together a good complete script – but this smacks of laziness. Now that I’ve said this, I bet if you think of it, you can come up with a bunch of other TV shows and movies where some homoerotic moment is used as to illicit a laugh. I find these sorts of devices as tedious as fart jokes. That’s not being a “phobe” that’s being an elitist. And that, my friends, is a title I do wear. I mean com’on, son. I nearly expected Jude Law to hit RDJ with an “AY-YO!” when he saw him in that “disguise.” Seriously, this sequence in the flick was only slightly more homoerotic than any recent Jay-Z/Kanye video callabo and slightly less than the “Weezy F. Baby” moniker of Lil Wayne. In other words, I’d have preferred less…

And a much more… Noomi Rapace, Rachel McAdams (still crushing on you, girl), Kelly Reilly, and random crap blowing up. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. (Insert God Bless America instrumental here.) But, so help me God, Buddy/Action/Comedies that use cheap, simple minded theatrical tricks for laughs have to be stopped or else we are as guilty as anybody for the dumbing down of America.

Aside from that, and the unnecessary length (PAUSE?), the movie was pretty damned good. It’s the only movie in the big 3 (Sherlock, Dragon Tatoo, and Ghost Protocol) that never once made me consider taking a peak at the inside of my eyelids. All in all, if you have some time to catch a flick over this holiday season, I think Sherlock might be the most genuinely entertaining & family friendly flick in the litter. Of course, I haven’t seen any of the kiddie flicks – mostly because I find it a bit weird to be a 35-year old brotha in a hoodie (I likes to rock a hoodie to the theatre – it keeps people at least one seat away from me – WHAT!?) copping a ticket for The Muppets or Hugo or Chipmunks – Chipwrecked! and not having any kids or kids with me - hence, the pass.

ImTHATdude gives Sherlock Holmes 2/A Game of Shadows: 4

RATING SYSTEM:

NYC Tastemakers of 2012....by pemora

2011-12-27T16:26:00.000-05:00

There is a bit of a background story here, so please bear with me. This morning, I was reading my daily email from The Daily Love (don't judge) and today's theme was about turning negative emotions into positive outcomes. What does this have to do with the Tastemakers of 2012? Well, I was reading a post about the resolutions of 20 of NYC's Coolest Influencers. Cool, cool. EXCEPT...not a 1 person of color. Well, maybe 1 or 2, but the fact that I had to say 'maybe' says a lot. I mean, this is NY freaking City. How can you NOT have a wide spectrum of diversity on that list?

Ok, back to this morning's email. As I was sitting, making my own list via twitter, I realized that I should just create my own post. Actually, my sister suggested it. But it is a positive outcome, nonetheless.

Here is my list of the NYC Tastemakers of 2012.

1. Alvin Blanco

If you are looking for someone who could be considered THE expert on hip hop, Alvin would be the #1 pick. He is the go-to person on the history, context, gossip, style, news and critical thinking of the genre. In fact, he wrote a book about one of the most influential groups of all time -- Wu Tang Clan. Alvin is also pretty darn funny, which makes it even easier to follow regular updates.

2. Samantha Black

Besides her fashion show receiving guest starring credit in a recent episode of 'Love + Hip Hop', Samantha is on a roll. Her line has major fans in the industry (secret: a certain pregnant diva's little sister loves Sammy B) and she has some big things lined up for 2012, including February's fashion week. Keep your eye on Sammy B!

3. Sian-Pierre Regis
Sian-Pierre is the founder and editor-in-chief of one of my favorite street style blogs, Swagger New York. This site features people who are both off the beaten path and embody NYC. Sian-Pierre also writes for MTV Act, a blog very reminiscent of the Rock the Vote movement. According to his twitter account, Sian-Pierre wants to be Ryan Seacrest 3.0....at this rate, I think people will be saying that they want to be Sian-Pierre 2.0!

4. Carla Zanoni
If you want to know something, anything, about Upper Manhattan, Carla is THE person to follow. Social Media Editor for DNAInfo, she reports on the good, the bad and the ugly of Inwood and Washington Heights. In fact, Carla is usually the 1st person to spread information and has a loyal and interactive group of followers. The great thing about Carla is that she is not content to just sit behind a computer; she attends community board meetings, visits (and endorses) local businesses, and even engages neighborhood police precints. I say -- Carla Zanoni for Manhattan Borough President!

5. DJ Rob Dinero
In full disclosure, Rob is my cousin + faux-twin....but that doesn't make him any less tastemaker-worthy. Name a singer, rapper or reggae artist and Rob has probably worked with them. Rob co-founded AMW DJ's, a coalition of 'America's Most Wanted' DJ's and he regularly works with Japan's DJ Honda. Rob will be spinnig at Abe + Arthurs for NYE but if you cannot make it to NYC, you can catch him on Music Choice network's MC Mixtape Channel.

6. Melissa Beck
A wife, a mother, a supporter of Hello Kitty, and knows both current events + The Real Housewives franchises? Yespleaseandthankyou. This is a woman after my own heart. With her sharp wit + sassy comebacks, Melissa has been on my radar for years. It is hard to believe that Melissa is not a native New Yorker but the city is lucky to have her now. I am anxiously waiting for someone to give her a book deal. Maybe it will happen in 2012?

7. HB Wellington
Lead singer of The Wellington Papers and all-around good guy, HB makes music fun, stylish and interesting. His songs, especially the infectious 'Jackie', all sound a little familiar but entirely different. Check out one of his shows, where you will both be entertained and you might even get to share a drink with HB! Also, try to get your hands on one of the band's heartbreak stickers or pins...highly coveted in the NYC-area.

8. Mimi Jung

I know, I know, I am a bit obsessed with Mimi Jung. But given my opinion of her, how could I not include her on this list? Mimi runs the fabulous blog and jewelry line Brook & Lyn, which has already been featured in places like Anthropologie and Shopbop. Susie Bubble is also a big fan, showing off her B&L necklace in her Bluefly Closet Confessions video. Santa didn't bring me one of her harness necklaces for Christmas, so if Cupid wants to drop it off on Valentine's Day, I would be one very appreciative chica.

9. The Assimilated Negro (TAN)
If you have not been on his blog or bought his book, you are just missing out. Patrice Evans is talented at making intellectual social commentary while also retaining his wit. He is currently a columnist for Grantland and I am sure he has a couple of other surprises up his sleeve for 2012.

10. Dujeous
True aficionados will tell you that Dujeous has been killing it for a long time and I have to agree (as someone who saw them perform at 95 Leonard in '01). To call them a hip hop group would be oversimplifying their music; they make songs that truly sound like NYC. This year, Dujeous was the house band to Rosenberg's Noisemakers and it was THE ticket to get. Dujeous will be performing on January 18th at Southpaw, so check out their twitter for more details...

This is just a short list and it was hard to pick just 10...anyone you would add? Who is doing it big for 2012?

Honorable Mentions:El Bloombito, Locke be a Lady, DJ Shakez, Francheska, Wes Moore, Elana Aquino, Melissa Fortune, Danielle Lazarin, Naughty Cookies and, of course, Miss DTM.

On Those Concords...by pemora

2011-12-24T20:06:00.000-05:00

If you have been living under a suburban rock, you may not have heard about this frenzy over the recent release of the Air Jordan XI Concords. People have waited in line for days, fights have broken out, there was even a faux murder plastered over twitter. Everywhere, I have read the same thing -- they are just kicks! What is the big deal? They are JUST kicks! Well, Alvin Blanco recently tweeted something that has me thinking...

via Animal New York

Jay said something briefly that really hit me in the gut. I tried exploring it a bit here but I don't think anyone has said it so succinctly and eloquently as Jay.

"I came from a poor background, so this is an accomplishment for me"

That's the thing...there is a whole generation of Blacks and Latinos who grew up poor and are now working + have a little cash in their pockets. This idea of being able to finally attain an item that was so out of our reach growing up is huge. It is not just about being a sneakerhead or wanting to look fly while walking down the street but being able to buy one of these re-releases is, exactly as Jay said, an accomplishment.

I realize that this does not apply to everyone but I think it is a sentiment worth giving more than 2 seconds of thought. In full disclosure, I have an appreciation for kicks but would not consider myself a sneakerhead. I leave that to my husband. But I recently purchased the Jordan 3 Cements because, in part, I distinctly remember when they were released, lusting after them and then not even asking my parents to purchase me a pair. Why? Because that would have been a truly LOL moment in my South Bronx household. My dad would probably have choked on his KOOL cigarette. And to now see them again, with the ability to actually buy them for myself, was pretty darn awesome.

Which brings me to a final thought...there are a number of us, who grew up wearing/wanting Timberlands, Polo, Girbaud, Tommy, and Jordans. We ran around the blocks of Bed Stuy, East Harlem, Harlem and the South Bronx. We are Black, brown, Latino, white and Asian. We went to Bronx Science, the Hilltop schools, Stuyvesant. We graduated from fill-in-the-blank prestigious college. And we are working. It would be nice if companies could start marketing to us.

Drunk History Christmas [video]

2011-12-21T08:58:00.000-05:00

If you follow me on twitter, you know that I am slightly obsessed with Ryan 'Hottie' Gosling. Who isn't? Check him out in this hilarious video via Funny or Die.

Drunk History Christmas with Ryan Gosling, Jim Carrey and Eva Mendes from Ryan Gosling

Girl Crush: Mimi Jung....by pemora

2011-12-13T06:21:00.001-05:00

For my 3 readers, I hope you don't mind these Girl Crush posts. I love them. I especially love trying to find a diverse array of women; women who might not always be on the cover of blah blah magazine. If you know anyone you would like to shine some light on, drop me a line via twitter.

Anyway, I cannot believe I have not featured Mimi Jung yet. Mimi runs the blog + shop Brook&Lyn. Her style is chic, effortless and always HER. It doesn't hurt that she usually rocks one of her fabulous accessories with each outfit (seriously, fabulous. I am a proud owner of one of her necklaces and I receive boatloads of compliments when I wear it). Mimi has stated that she is trying to move away from the personal style posts, to which I have pleaded via twitter to reconsider. Does that make me stalkerish? I'm not, I swear!

Check out some of my fav outfits:

Girl Crush: Christine Centenera....by pemora

2011-12-11T07:37:00.001-05:00

Christine Centenera's pics have popped up on my Google Reader several times...and each time, I am never disappointed. Love her style. It is equal parts Man Repeller and bad-ass chick who smokes cigarettes in a bar bathroom. You get my point.

Christine is currently the fashion editor for Australia's Harper's Bazaar and is consulting with Kanye West on his new clothing line. Of course. Christine just rocks.

all images via Wikifashion

Black Friday, Buy Local (4)...by pemora

2011-11-25T07:22:00.001-05:00

I was just reading a study that found for every $100 spent at a local merchant, $73 is put back into the local economy. That is in comparison to $42 put back in, when the same amount is spent at a big merchant. Well, then....there you go! Even more reason to buy local on Black Friday.

I am still featuring small businesses, so please let me know of some of your favs. Here are just a couple more to support as you nurse your pumpkin pie hangover....

Kitchen Conversions poster via SweetFineDay - 15% off with code 'BLACK11'

Tote Bag via Esoteric Ink

Heart Headband via ban.do - 20% off with code 'TURKEYTIME'

Stephanie Nielson's book via Amazon - again, not local, just an amazing story.

Black Friday, Buy Local (3)....by pemora

2011-11-24T08:15:00.001-05:00

This is the 3rd installment of Black Friday, Buy Local. Again, if you or someone you know runs a small business, drop me a line...would love to feature more options for holiday shopping!

Well Being Tea via sacredvibes

Negropedua via Amazon (I know. Not a small biz but I want to support my friends!)

Riviera Bracelet via CHABELLANYC

Poppy Floral dress via kellyshoestrings

To all my American amigos: I hope you enjoy a wonderful, safe & lovely Thanksgiving! Happy Holidays!

Black Friday, Buy Local (2)....by pemora

2011-11-23T07:12:00.001-05:00

I am trying to continue this Occupy Movement, with a 2nd installment of Black Friday, Buy Local. If you know of any good local, small businesses, drop me a line. Would love to feature other folks as well...Now, for some more local goodies...

Stars & Stripes Bow Skirt via Sammy B

Bow Tie Necklace via Created By Fortune

Burt Tee via Curator - 25% off entire shop with code 'Pumpkin Pie'

Tracy Ring via Laureluxe

Calla Lily Ring via JanetJewelry - 20% off entire purchase with code 'GOBBLEGOBBLE'

Black Friday, Buy Local...by pemora

2011-11-22T20:26:00.001-05:00

I have to agree with THIS Occupy Movement effort....this Friday, everyone should really support local businesses. Local businesses are usually a one-(wo)man show, folks just trying to pursue their passions, people that should be encouraged. With the exception of a very sweet pair of Air Jordan 3's for the baby daddy, I am going to try to buy everyone's holiday gifts from local/etsy vendors. Some of my favs:


Nutella Brownies via The Naughty Housewife

Necklace via Clydesrebirth

Velvet Swing Coat via Erstwhilestyle

Toddler Tunic via Supayana

Abstract Flower Tunic via BarefootandVintage

Headband via ideegeniale

Maxi dress via Haberdash - get 20% off using code 'THANKYOU'

Necklace via Brook&Lyn

Giving Thanks....by pemora

2011-11-21T17:49:00.001-05:00

This is sappy, so if you are one of my snarky friends, stop reading now (you know who you are)...

I have been thinking a lot about what I am thankful for this year. As usual, I am thankful for family + friends, the many jokes I share with people, having a job, a roof over my head. But, this year? The best way I can share with you what I am thankful for is this pic...

No, I am not thankful for shoes, although shoes totally rock. I am thankful for the wearers of each of these shoes.

The newbie: even though she is only 6 months old, I can't imagine our family without her. She has the biggest smile, never cries, and is just a nugget of joy. Even when she is pooping. Okay, maybe not, but that is what I tell myself when I'm gasping for air.

The big boy: my first. My heart. It is amazing to see his personality + humor develop. Even if part of that humor is farting in my face. Boys.

The baby daddy: he works so hard to support us. I adore him. We are going on 12 years together. Marriage is hard work but I am grateful to be in this partnership.

Me: I am thankful for having a healthy body, that allows me to care and cherish and love these 3 people.

This is what I will have in mind on Thursday. And all the other days. What are you thankful for?

Holiday Wish List....by pemora

2011-11-19T08:06:00.001-05:00

It is THAT time of year again, folks. Yes, when we all think about baby Jesus (*melissa gorja voice*) and drink tons of coquito. Oh! And gifts. Yes, lots + lots of gifts. For my fellow 99%'ers, all I am going to ask for this year is peace, love + a bigger piece of the pie. But, forreals forreals, these are things I am eying for myself this year.


Bon Look Drink the Kool-Aid Glasses

ASOS Bird Print Dress

MR DANNIJO Salvador Necklace

Marcel the Shell with Shoes on: Things About Me

Marcel the Shell [videos]

2011-11-15T17:08:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Mr. Kate for putting me on to Marcel the Shell with Shoes on....LOVE.

MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON from Dean Fleischer-Camp on Vimeo.

Heavy D & The Boyz - Now That We Found Love ft. Aaron Hall

2011-11-09T06:10:00.000-05:00

Rest in peace, Heavy....

Yulanda Yee....by pemora

2011-11-07T17:42:00.003-05:00

This morning, I woke up with Yulanda Yee on my mind. Yulanda wrote and took beautiful pictures for her blog, little thoughts. little thoughts was the first personal style blog that I had ever followed; it was the blog that got me thinking about outfits and how we present ourselves. The pictures were stunningly creative + beautiful.

On February 11, 2010, Yulanda passed away from lymphoma cancer. Her boyfriend and dad wrote the final entry for the blog, an appreciative tone for her followers, her friends.

Unfortunately, little thoughts is long gone. I miss Yulanda's beautiful pictures, her kind + sincere words, her spirit. She was a truly talented person.

Update: I received a message today (12.5.11) via Google Reader that someone is trying to get Yulanda's blog back online. Whoever you are, thank you! I am glad that this piece of her will not be lost forever.

Sheyna Jewelry [most wanted]....by pemora

2011-11-06T08:58:00.003-05:00

Like many mommies who have 2 seconds of free time to think about how they look (to think that 2 kids in and I JUST learned the art of waiting to put on my jacket/sweater/vest until the very last second...covers up any + all spit-up stains), I am always thinking about accessories. Accessories are a mommy's bff'er. Why?

1. they spice up old tees. Even those with said spit-up stains
2. they are easy to put on + take off. Depending on which child and age group you are dealing with
3. accessories will stay with you, even when pesky things like waistbands and bra sizes decide to change

I am intrigued by Sheyna Jewelry, a site that allows you to design your jewelry. Little ol' me? A jewelry designer? But, oh yes!

And before I decide to audition for Project Accessories season 2, I checked out their ready-made jewelry. Egads! Really great price-points!

Here are some of my fav pieces but check out the site for yourself. And while you are there, enjoy a 10% off discount, courtesy of yours truly. Just mention the code: sheyna10. Happy shopping!


Golden Bow Earrings


Smoky Quartz + Charm Earrings

Leaves Stone earrings

History of Rap (pts 1 - 3)....by pemora

2011-10-30T09:15:00.000-04:00

Jimmy and Justin (they are friends in my head, so I'm down with the first name steez) remind me of these 2 blanquitos in high school who loved hip hop so much, they could recite more rhymes than most of my moreno + Latino friends. One of those dudes may or may not be dough. Just saying.

Anyway, I love these numbers they do. You can tell they take it seriously + not so seriously. I think the only thing missing would be a cameo by Ryan 'Hottie' Gosling.

Enjoy!

Girl Crush: Bianca Jagger....by pemora

2011-10-22T13:16:00.001-04:00

I was all prepared to write a blog entry on mommy haters (that is, mommies who hate on each other) but I decided to distract myself by looking at rad pics of Bianca Jagger. Latina, activist, and style maven? This is clearly my ultimate role model.

Throwback Thursday....Afro Blue - American Boy [video]

2011-10-13T19:10:00.002-04:00

Okay, not really a throwback. But I just had to show all of you the BEST performance on this season's The Sing Off. Afro Blue is a jazz ensemble from Howard University + they have been ripping it. Check out the video clip + the show.

Girl Crush: Natalia Alaverdian....by pemora

2011-10-10T18:26:00.001-04:00

This is the thing about Russian chicks....everyone loves them AND is scared of them. True fact. Ask anyone from the NY-area and they will tell you that Russian women will pummel you, while looking sexy at the same time.

Cue in Natalia Alaverdian, fashion editor for Harper's Bazaar Russia. She is so stylish, that I had a hard time picking the 'best' pics of her....they are all really, really good!


images via google

Steve Jobs

2011-10-07T06:08:00.002-04:00

"Being Elmo" Trailer....by pemora

2011-10-03T21:35:00.000-04:00

I knew that Elmo should represent love.....

Someone Like You (Music Video)....by pemora

2011-10-01T11:26:00.000-04:00

I know a ton of people were disappointed by Adele's official video for 'Someone Like You'. As beautiful as I thought it was (Paris/her face/that coat....mesmerizing), I could see how folks could find it to be boring. Especially for a song with lyrics that touch everyone over the age of 13.

My cousin passed along this video version of the song and I must say...I am wow'ed. Is that a word, wow'ed? Because I am...this storyline is captivating, surprising + heartbreaking. Whoever you are, Casey Ford Alexander, you are super talented.

Throwback Thursday.....Mint Condition - Breakin' My Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes)

2011-09-29T10:58:00.001-04:00

While waiting for the bd to come home for lunch (yay for living 7 minutes away from his job!), I decided to let my itunes play dj. First song up + I am thrown back to 8th grade.

And to bring it full circle...I totally remember dancing to this song at a party in the 9th grade + watching the bd hang out with his friends in the corner of the room. 9th grade, people! That's a whole lotta years ago...

DRIVE [revew]....by IMTHATDUDE

2011-09-27T16:46:00.007-04:00

This movie was more ridiculous than Sam Jackson playing Martin Luther the King on Broadway – oh, it’s true, it’s damned true – http://www.themountaintopplay.com/index.html

Yup. I totally see it…? Nick Fury as Reverend Dr. King. Right. Sam would be a miscast for Malcolm X much less Dr. King.

But back to the flick. Drive. Drive what? Drive me to tears (PAUSE - from boredom, I mean). Drive went from action-thriller with tons of potential to hurry up and wait. On the bright side, anybody who has ever had an awkward pause and enjoyed it would LOVE this movie. And for everyone else who has experienced that awkwardness (read: us normal folk), you will undoubtedly find those pauses… well… pretty freaking awkward. Awkward like hearing the “I Have a Dream Speech” interlaced with a healthy plethora of “n-words” and “mutha f*ckas!”

VITALS

Nicholas Winding Refn (Valhalla Rising) - Director

Hossein Amini (Killshot, Shanghai) - Writer
Ryan Gosling (Crazy, Stupid Love) – The Driver
Carey Mulligan (WS2: Money Never Sleeps) - Irene
Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad) - Shannon
Albert Brooks (The In-Laws) - Bernie
Ron Pearlman (Sons of Anarchy) - Nino
Christina Hendricks (Mad Men) – Blanche

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

A stunt driver, The Driver (Gosling) is a getaway driver to make ends meet… I guess. He does precious little talking, even when spoken to, so I guess that helps make him mysterious. Turns out, he’s just crazy, as anybody would think if it took him THAT long to respond to direct conversation. The Driver crosses paths with his fetching neighbor, Irene (Mulligan), and her son. Little does he know the woman he’s semi-secretly crushing on has a baby-daddy coming home from prison. Being the good (and terrible) guy that he is, the Driver helps out his neighbor’s baby daddy and ends up involved in an intermittently violent and lethal turf war. People get shot, stabbed, strangled and stabbed, and kicked to death, and spit on (which would kill me – in which case, I’d come back to life and shoot, stab, strangle and stab and then kick to death the nasty bastard that spat on me).

SPOILER ALERT: There’s ONE car chase. The other scene was so effing lame, you can’t conceivably label it an actual car chase.

Look, the movie wasn’t terrible, but the name of this crap is DRIVE. Gosling had 2 scenes where he was behind the wheel of a car in a tense situation. And, I’ve said it before… so you know how important this is when I say it again… the way a movie ends is just as important as the rest of the film. If you don’t believe me, go watch Kill Bill Part I and then watch the Matrix: Reloaded. Endings kill films; unfortunately for Drive, the middle and the beginning did, too.

My recommendation is that they rename this movie. It’s an easy one. They only have to drop one letter. Drop the “v” from Driver and then we have some truth in the advertising.

ImTHATdude gives Drive: 2 (and a movie violation – get it? Movie, moving… HA! Ehhhh, Whuddyouknowfromfunny.)

RATING SYSTEM:
5 = You should be about halfway to the theatre by now… Well… GET!
4 = Definitely worth the bread. Niiice.
3 = I won’t cuss anybody out and demand my paper back.
2 = Somewhere SOUTH of under-whelmed./I know it has a pulse, but…
1 = Not a good look. They played me AND I played myself.

The Most Exciting Books this Fall (Negropedia!)

2011-09-24T10:00:00.002-04:00

Flavorwire recently featured some interesting and cool books that are about to drop and friend to UR Patrice Evan's book Negropedia is included on the list. Woohoo! I will commence my I-told-you-so dance right now. Congrats, Patrice! And make sure to pre-order your copy of Negropedia now.

Sesame Street: G [video]

2011-09-23T16:22:00.000-04:00

Two of my favorite things rolled into one: Sesame Street and Glee. Enjoy!

Girl Crush: Corinne Bailey Rae....by pemora

2011-09-21T18:19:00.000-04:00

Like everyone else affected by brain worm, I could sing Corinne Bailey Rae's "Put Your Records On" over + over + over again. However, I always refused to watch the video. Why? Well, the baby daddy admitted to having a huge crush on her + I found myself becoming envious. Her hair, her broad smile, her demeanor. It just all seemed so awesome to me.

CBR laid low following the death of her husband but has recently returned to the spotlight. More specifically, homegirl was all over NYFW. And looking fly at each turn.

all images via Google + Put Your Records On

Girl Crush: Solange Knowles....by missDTM

2011-09-13T23:16:00.001-04:00

some people might not notice solange, being that her older sister is beyonce and all. but, to me, she is the much cooler knowles sister. from her quirky style, to her natural 'do, i really think that she's got something special going on. my sorority sisters and i like to say she's the artsy hipster knowles sister who probably would have went to pratt with us. either way, her style is cool.

i had the opportunity to see her yesterday at the sammy b fashion show and it just reinforced my love for her. she's super cute in person - she smiled and laughed with folks. i like to believe that had i worked up the nerve to ask, she would have humored me with a pic with her. but alas, i did not, and instead i watched her responses to the many outfits that graced the runway. she is flawless.

so, that's my girl crush in 500 words or less. at least, i think that was 500 words...or less...

now i'll just let the pics speak for themselves:

9.11.01

2011-09-11T18:32:00.001-04:00

via The Inquisitr

Girl Crush: Tracee Ellis Ross....by pemora

2011-09-10T09:00:00.000-04:00

Like many a brown girl, I was/am completely obsessed with UPN/BET's Girlfriends. While I loved SATC, Girlfriends truly did feel more real (even with its looniness) and compelling to me. I could easily identify a Maya, Toni, Lynn, and Joan in my life. Another reason I loved the show was to watch Tracee Ellis Ross. From her hair to her body, I felt like there was someone I could relate to. Tracee's sense of fashion never shies away from showing off her curves and always in an elegant manner. She dresses exactly like I try to but can never seem to manage. She's just awesome.

All images via Google

IFB Conference

2011-09-06T16:42:00.000-04:00

If you're like me, you cannot make it to the IFB conference...sadness to us! But here is your chance to watch it livestreamed right here. Yessir, RIGHT HERE!

Watch live streaming video from ifbconference at livestream.com

Have fun and make sure to let us know either here or via twitter (#IFBCon) what you think!

Dear Summer - Jay-Z [music]

2011-09-05T08:31:00.000-04:00

Adios, summer....until 2012.

Created by Fortune....by pemora

2011-09-04T09:16:00.000-04:00

This morning, in between episodes of Fraggle Rock, I was focused on buying a bracelet from one of my sister's good friends, Melissa Fortune. While on the Created by Fortune site, I quickly became distracted by the bow ties. And necklaces. And earrings. And everything studded. Mokey and Gobo and Red were just going to have to wait, while I envisioned myself wearing anything + everything in her collection....

Check out more of Melissa's accessories, all at awesome price points, at Created by Fortune.

Walls Notebook [most wanted]...by pemora

2011-08-27T10:50:00.000-04:00

Prior to the pemora days, my cousin gave me the tag name pem. Mostly, that meant that I would write pem in white-out on my binders...nonetheless, I would tag it up, yo.

Now that I am an old lady and am always tired, I wish I had a way of showing my bad-a$$ tendencies without leaving the comforts of my home. Behold! A notebook that will let me feel like I am tagging up anything + everything. And I can do it with a sparkly Sharpie!

Get one at Think of The.

Mustache [most wanted].....by pemora

2011-08-24T18:31:00.001-04:00

I am officially in love with the new Mr. Kate logo rosary in rose gold:

mostly because it reminds me of the BEST video in Youtube history*:

Seriously, how effing dope is this?

Hook me up at Mr. Kate.

*friend of MissDTM (of course)

Jodeci - Come and Talk to Me [Throwback Thursday]

2011-08-18T14:17:00.001-04:00

This is a shout to IMTHATDUDE. This song is pure brainworm.....I challenge you to NOT be singing it 3 hours from now.

Jay-Z & Kanye West - Otis [video]

2011-08-12T11:28:00.001-04:00

Thoughts?

Captain America: The First Avenger

2011-08-03T18:41:00.003-04:00

by ImTHATdude

Befuddled. I can’t remember the last time I was BEFUDDLED before seeing Captain America: The First Avenger. Oh yes, I do. It was that time in Vegas at a “Gentleman’s Club” when they introduced two strippers back-to-back named Candy. What are the chances!? It seems the power of the SGA (Strippers Guild of America) has seriously taken a hit in this economy. Anyway, with Capt. America being from out of Brooklyn and all, I semi-hoped to like this movie. Hope springs eternal (... until it stops). Instead, I was left with that same befuddled expression I most certainly had on my face as I sat in Cheetah's smelling the scent of broken dreams, past/current abusive relationships, and weird mixtures of "Midnight Pomegranate" & "Warm Vanilla Sugar" lotion, mingling with the tart odor of poor education as it emanated in no small portion from Candy and Kandi. See you soon, ladies. (He says with a Tina Fey/Sarah Palin wink and gunshot point.) I kid, it's a recession. You not seeing my ones ($1) - not again, that is...

VITALS:

Joe Johnston (The Wolfman) – Director
Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely (The Chronicles of Narnia) - Writers
Chris Evans (The Losers) – Steve Rogers/Capt. America
Tommy Lee Jones (The Company Men) – Col. Phillips
Hayley Atwell (The Duchess) – Peggy Carter
Sebastian Stan (Black Swan) – “Bucky”
Hugo Weaving (The Wolfman) – Schmidt/Red Skull
Stanley Tucci (Easy A) – Dr. Erskine

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

Set during WWII, Steve Rogers (Evans) is an emaciated sickly kid with all sorts of issues including a huge chip on his shoulder and a desire to do his part and fight for blah blah blah… After repeated tries to enlist in the US Army, Rogers is summarily rejected in light of his multiple ailments, but not his homeboy, “Bucky.” Bucky gets busy. Eventually, Rogers catches the eye in of Dr. Erskine (Tucci) for his valor - not in the way Ryan Gosling catches pemora's eye. Rogers is chosen to become the first American Super Soldier with a serum that enhances an individual's characteristics like courage, honor, loyalty - screw that, the serum made him taller, stronger, faster, and healthy.

Agent Carter (Atwell) was grossly underutilized, but did her job as the eye-candy with a little edge. Col. Phillips (Jones) was a proper grump. For what it's worth, Evans played Capt. America well. The problem is, I never read Capt. America comics - not after reading a couple in the store when I was a kid. Back then, I thought he was kind of a geek and pretty freaking corny compared to the X-Men and Spiderman... Good to know that somethings never change.
If I may be blunt for once, I was kind of lulled to a sense of abject complacency about this movie. And my expectations were soooo minimal… All the ingredients were there. A-List actors. Seasoned writers and directors. A built-in audience. Yet, majestically, this nerd from Brooklyn was definitely living south of under-whelmed for a couple hours. Capt. America is clearly better than Thor & Green Lantern, but being markedly better than Green Lantern & Thor ain't much to brag about. That's unfair. Thor was only kinda lame; Green Lantern was - as zee French zay… “garbage” .

ImTHATdude gives Captain America: The First Avenger – 2/I know it has a pulse, but…

REVISED RATING SYSTEM:

5 = You should be about halfway to the theatre by now… Well… GET!
4 = Definitely worth the bread. Niiice.
3 = I won’t cuss anybody out and demand my paper back.
2 = Somewhere SOUTH of under-whelmed./I know it has a pulse, but…
1 = Not a good look. They played me AND I played myself.

Crazy Stupid Love

2011-08-02T13:35:00.007-04:00

by ImTHATdude

I’d be surprised and a little disappointed if you didn’t already know that I have an aversion to love stories. Not the “love” just theatrical love stories; just the campy, touchy-feely, chick flicky, emotional heartstring tuggy crap But why? How could the Undisputed Light Heavyweight Champion of Romantic Dudes, at least on the Planet of Brooklyn, feel like that about love stories? Because I hate going to the theatre and dealing with you annoying movie-daters (the ones who talk and ask asinine questions during the movie); these moviegoers are #2 on my list of expendables. Needless to say, if you are one of these people, I probably wouldn’t like you very much in or out of the theatre. What list, dude? I’m so glad you asked. Here’re the Top-5 types of moviegoers that make me want to punch them in the neck: that passes for a date movie.

1) Unruly children with new-school parents who refuse to discipline these kids or, in the alternative, make them shut the hell up. (Yes, both parent(s) and child(ren) deserve and could get a neck-punch.)

2) People who feel the need to ask dumbass questions in their outside voice. Movie chatter may be permitted, but your INSIDE voice is not a suggestion – it’s a requirement. (I once with out with a woman who was cute and smart and funny and sweet and unfortunately loquacious chick who failed to use her inside voice in the theatre while asking me a never ending series of stupid questions. I never called that mouthy winch again.)

3) People so tethered to their mobiles that they forget they’re in theatre and the other people there did not agree to have you make the theatre glow like a Kanye West concert when you could’ve just texted outside and saved the ticket doe? The phone may be smart, but you… no so much.

4) People with loud snacks. (BTW: Popcorn, M&M Peanuts, or anything else that crackles every time you chew it… not cool, man. Not kewl.) Do you have any idea how loud 50 people crackling popcorn and M&M’s can be just as there’s supposed to be a quiet poignant moment? If you don’t, it’s because you are likely a #4. Popcorn eating bastard. Save yourself a neck punch and go with Raisinettes, which is clearly the superior movie snack anyway.

5) Last, but not least, are the tardy moviegoers who ask you to move so they can sit together and not be inconvenienced while you have to be inconvenienced and accommodate them because you got there early enough to scope out a boss spot (I hear “boss” made a comeback, so I’m trying it out).

What the hell was I talking about? Riiiight. Date flicks. I hate these movies because you will inevitably run into a higher percentage than usual of people who fall into ALL of the above categories. That’s almost enough to make you cop a bootleg for five bucks and skip the hassle of the $13 ticket racket altogether. Despite all my visceral yet justified disdain, I braved the possible fisticuffs and saw Crazy Stupid Love.

VITALS:

Dan Fogleman (Fred Clause) – Writer

Glen Ficarra (I Loe You Phillip Morris) – Director

Steve Carell (Dinner for Schmucks) - Cal

Ryan Gosling (Blue Valentine) - Jacob

Julianne Moore (The Kids Are Alright) – Emily

Kevin Bacon (X-Men: First Class) – David Lindhagen (full name’s important)

Analeigh Tipton (Green Hornet) – Jessica

Emma Stone (Easy A) – Hannah

Marisa Tomei (The Lincoln Lawyer) - Kate

Liz Lipira (Fast & Furious) – Liz (very creative with the name selection)

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

First scene of the movie, Cal (Carell) asks for the crème brulee exactly while his wife, Emily (Moore), asks him for a divorce. What the Johnny Drama!? Right there, you know this movie has potential. I feel like if I talked too much about the plot it’ll demystify it for you… Commencing the demystification....... NOW

Cal and Emily, married 25 years (childhood sweethearts) find themselves in a stale marriage. Emily cheats on Cal with David Lindhagen (Bacon). DAVID LINDHAGEN! Emily and Cal become estranged. And, the rest of the movie’s about them figuring out how and if they can live on their own or if they’ve really made a mistake. Answer: Yes! Oh, and they have kids with their own myriad love issues.

So Jacob (Gosling), playa that he is, runs into Cal and wants to help Cal rediscover his manhood, until Jacob unexpectedly falls for the lovely Hannah (Stone). FYI: I loves me some Emma Stone.

The twists and turns this movie takes are enough to keep you interested, but not enough to be ridiculous to the point of absurdity. (Most romantic comedies are ridiculous to the point of absurdity. There’s nothing I find more frustrating in those movies than an easily fixable situation being exacerbated by the moronitude of the protagonists. Yes, I made up another word. I’m going to make up words until Merriam Webster’s Dictionary picks some of them up. As far as I’m concerned, “moronitude” is every bit as justifiable as say - “bling.”)

Story eventually ends, of course, but when it does, you’ve laughed plenty, and you’ve not felt like you’ve been fed the same ole pre-packaged meal you ordinarily get with Rom-Coms. (Hopefully, you have not cried at all, unless you’re THAT kind of moviegoer – in which case, yes, I hate you – you’re #6). Although, technically, you have. So, Gosling was good. Carell was Carell. Julianne Moore - well, I got a thing for redheads... and brunettes... and blondes (FYI: Emma Stone is actually blonde but rocking the redhead look... very interesting).

BTW: Shout out to Marisa Tomei, your "crazy" was so crazy, I think I might have dated you before...

ImTHATdude gives Crazy Stupid Love – 4

REVISED RATING SYSTEM:

5 = You should be about halfway to the theatre by now… Well… GET!

4 = Definitely worth the bread. Niiice.

3 = I won’t cuss anybody out and demand my paper back.

2 = Somewhere SOUTH of under-whelmed./I know it has a pulse, but…

1 = Not a good look. They played me AND I played myself.

HORRIBLE BOSSES

2011-08-01T16:48:00.005-04:00

by ImTHATdude

If you’re over the age of 23 and you’ve had more than one real job (and I mean gainful employment - not something you freaknasty kids give out bracelets for...) in your lifetime, you’ve probably had a horrible boss or two. I’ve had more than a few HB situations in my illustrious anti-lucrative career and I certainly imagined... For example, I had one woman who the very thinking of her true name is forbidden, so let’s call her “Mrs. Voldemort.” Mrs. V once called out for me a total of 78 times in less than 8 hours; on the 65^th time, I was summoned into her office to discuss a disposition I had drafted for the 4^th time. I was told on time #3 to implement her handwritten edits precisely (mind you, I do have a law degree and 10 yrs experience, but whatever). Anyway, I did my crappy job and brought her back the document somewhere in between shouts ##36-43. She read them, and on shout #65 proceeded to berate me about her changes not making any sense. When I showed her it was her handwriting and that I’d simply transcribed (language I had objected to from the outset), she told me “Just because I said it and told you to do it, doesn’t mean it makes any sense!” Of course, my handy notepad came out IMMEDIATELY – you have to savor those precious gems. Let’s just say, she didn’t last long as my horrible boss. You can’t contain that kinda crazy. Not possible. Talking to her was like watching that opening scene from Wedding Crashers; the one when they’re at the mediation and the woman tells her soon to be ex-husband to “shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.”

VITALS:

Jason Bateman (Couple’s Retreat) - Nick

Jason Sudekis (SNL) - Kurt

Charlie Day (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia) - Dale

Kevin Spacey (Casino Jack) – Dave (Nick’s HB)

Colin Farrell (Fright Night) – Bobby Pellit (Kurt’s HB)

Jennifer Aniston (Just Go With It) – Dr. Harris (Dale’s HB)

Seth Gordon (Four Christmases) - Director

Michael Markowitz - Writer

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

Nick (Bateman), Kurt (Sudekis), and Dale (Day) have been buddies since high school. Now, in their 30s (give or take), each of them works in what would be a perfectly fulfilling job, with the one obvious exception. Horrible Bosses. Nick, a hard-working corporate exec, works for Dave (Spacey) who is truly horrible and subjects him to some of the dirtiest corporate skullduggery imaginable. Dave’s so treacherous that you almost want to applaud him for being that awful. Kurt starts out working for a father figure Mr. Pellit (played by Donald Sutherland), but when the good boss dies unexpectedly, his son, Bobby (Farrell), takes over. Bobby’s an addlebrained coke-head scumbag who engages in pure douchebaggery (I swear that’s a word… or should be) and snorts and screws the business into oblivion.

And then there’s Dale (Day)… Dale works for the hottest dentist this side of consciousness Julia (Aniston). His boss’s psychotic sadistic issue… she’s super horny and handsy. I know. You’re thinking… WHAT!? What’s this moron’s problem? Well, Dale’s about to get married and Julia threatens his nuptials by demanding the ole braciole from Dale. She sexually assaults him and her other patrons while they’re unconscious… this is supposed to horrify us… somehow, I can’t help but think, this guy doesn’t have much to complain about. It’s not sexual harassment if she’s hot. I’m pretty sure Justice Scalia wrote that Supreme Court opinion already.

So, the long and short is, after a particularly rough patch at work followed by a hard night of libation & commiserating, Dale, Nick and Kurt, with the help of a murder consultant (played by Jaime Foxx who looks very Mike Tyson), decide it would be awesome to kill each other’s bosses (a la “Strangers on a Train”). Here’s where the ridiculousness sets in and the movie gets to be pretty entertaining.

Despite his character’s foolish refusal to give his HB what she wants, Charlie Day is FUNNY. Julia and Dale’s interplay is the best part of this movie. It was dope to hear Jennifer Aniston with such a potty mouth. She should talk like that every movie. As for Charlie Day, this guy’s built for comedy. Even his voice is funny. I wonder if people can take him seriously when he argues with them in real life. Check out “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” pure comic relief.

SIDE NOTE: I’m leaving Netflix and taking my talents to Blockbuster and Redbox.

ImTHATdude gives Horrible Bosses – 4

REVISED RATING SYSTEM:

5 = You should be about halfway to the theatre by now… Well… GET!

4 = Definitely worth the bread. Niiice.

3 = I won’t cuss anybody out and demand my paper back.

2 = Somewhere SOUTH of under-whelmed./I know it has a pulse, but…

1 = Not a good look. They played me AND I played myself.

Backseat Bingo [most wanted].....by pemora

2011-07-28T18:09:00.000-04:00

As some of you may know, I have been a fan of Ester's since our long lost Chictopia days. Initially, I was just completely obsessed with her sense of style; since then, my obsession includes her awesome jewelry line. I am slowly, but surely, working on owning a piece from each collection.

By the way, my entry lock double finger ring is still an all-time fave...

via Little Rooms

Ester has just released a new collection, entitled Backseat Bingo. I picture some bad-a$$ LA chicks wearing every piece, while driving to Vegas in a beat-up RV, all while planning their escapades for the weekend. I don't know. My imagination runs wild sometimes.....take a look at some of my favorite pieces and check out the whole collection at Little Rooms....

via Little Rooms

And my absolute favorite piece...

via Little Rooms

Me + Mariah....by pemora

2011-07-26T13:08:00.001-04:00

No less than 5 people sent me various versions of Mariah Carey's appearance on HSN. My question -- how the eff did I miss this?

There are so many key moments. Can't watch youtube at work or on your flippy phone? (my sis will get that last reference) Then just read the following. This is all you need to understand the essence of her 2 hours on HSN.

The lambily.
We can mix it up, dahling. We can make it a whole different experience.
I was in February. Honey, it was bleak for me.
I need a moment. I need a fragrant moment.
Last time we had an issue. I won't get into it.
I need a camouflaging moment.
Literally, I was like 47 weeks pregnant.
Its a real diamond necklace and its kinda pow. I wear it as a tiara as well.
Why are you not wearing diamonds from head to toe-ah?

Oh, how I missed you, Mariah. You are that crazy-but-loveable-diva friend in my head. I love you so....

Striped Pants [Most Wanted]....by pemora

2011-07-24T10:27:00.000-04:00

It all started with this picture of Delfina Delettrez in the most recent issue of Bazaar Magazine....

via Bazaar

I immediately clipped it out + taped it to a page in my Moleskine. Besides being a beautiful photo, Delfina looks serene, confident, and all-knowing because she is wearing the most effing awesomest pants ever. Well, this led me down a serious path of stalkerism, until I found this...

via Stylenik

Thakoon Fall '11, you say? How can I get my hands on these without breaking the bank? I am seriously obsessed, people....

Jay-Z & Kanye West Ft Otis Redding-Otis (No Tags)....new music

2011-07-21T09:32:00.000-04:00

Folks online are real divided about this song. I love it but it seems the young 'ens are not feeling it....your thoughts?

The Glow.....by pemora

2011-07-20T07:41:00.002-04:00

Like most moms, I spend time thinking about my personal style (that is, in my 'free moments'). For a number of years, I described my style as a J. Crew meets the South Bronx aesthetic. I'm not so sure that I still hold to that description but I also have no clue how I would explain the way I dress now. I would like to think that it is more refined, more sophisticated, a bit more me. In reality, I think I simply dress in a way that covers my lady lumps, downplays the perma-splotch of spit-up on my shoulder, and can be thrown in the washing machine. Yeah, oh so fashionable.

The nice thing about this world wide web is that a number of mommies have come forward as awesome style bloggers. Its ~~depressing~~ inspiring to see actual moms dress up every day, hair slightly flapping in the wind, make-up to perfection. Man, I miss looking pretty.

One site that has become an obsession of mine has been The Glow. The mommies on this site look fabulous while a wee bit disheveled, their kids are cute and rambunctious, and their personal style really seems like their own. Even the handlers of the site are awesome, responding to a recent sad email plea from me to feature more mommies.

I particularly love that each entry ends with the mommy's favorite recipe. They each look fairly simple, even simple enough for someone who almost ended up on Food Network's 'Worst Cooks in America'. That would be me. For real.

Make sure to check out The Glow. BTW, some other mommy style blogs that I obsess over? A Cup of Jo, Ain't No Mom Jeans, Bleubird Vintage, and Green Eggs and Glam. I need to use all of this as motivation to step up my fashion game....

Most Wanted: Leopard Booties....by pemora

2011-07-18T11:26:00.000-04:00

Since last fall, I have been on the hunt for the most perfect pair of leopard-print ankle boots. My hunt has led me down a Goldilocks-like frenzy of criticisms.

Too High of a Heel


Vince Camuto

Too Scary for Day Care Pick-Ups


Steve Madden

Just Right

Sam Edelman

OF COURSE, these are the same boots that have not appeared in my size since the moment I have started stalking them. WTF?! I put in a pre-order request but its just been crickets....If someone sees these in a sz 8, can you holler at your girl?

BTW, on my hunt for leopard-print ankle boots, I somehow stumbled upon and then purchased these....yeah, I'm not sure how that happened either but I have to tell you that these are probably the most comfortable shoes I have worn in a very long time. Minus my trusty Old Navy flip flops. Or my Nike Dunks. Or my Uggs Mocs*. But...you get the idea....

Jeffrey Campbell

*Please do not mock me for owning a pair of Uggs. I promise they only come out on Sunday mornings, during my grocery shopping runs. And, they are not the boots. And, my mom bought them for me. I know that there is no excuse but they are truly the MOST comfortable slip-on shoes. Ever.

Throwback Thursday....gina thompson - the things you do

2011-07-01T06:06:00.000-04:00

Yeah, its Friday. Its also summer and terribly nice outside....

This week's video is an ode to Wednesday night's Missy Elliott: Behind The Music. There is always a takeaway to these things and my takeaway for this one is that DeVante from Jodeci was crazy. Too bad....the cute ones always are.

Anyway, this song was my first and last cd single purchase. Who the hell buys only 1 freaking song on a cd? Well, I did. But I really loved it and probably played it 456 times before deciding to give it a break. I wonder if I even still own that cd....

33 + Pregnant....by pemora

2011-06-29T12:11:00.000-04:00

If you follow me on twitter, you know that maternity leave + 3am feedings means that I have been watching A LOT of TV. While I have been loving the SATC reruns and never-ending marathons of Cheaters, the show that just gets under my skin is 16 + Pregnant. Of course, I continue to watch it. But the show, and its participants, drive me bonkers.

Beginning of PSA: Teens, if you are uncomfortable looking at, talking about, purchasing and using condoms, you should not be having sex. Period. Parents, if your child comes to you to talk about birth control, it is most likely that they are already having sex. So, your response of ‘you shouldn’t be having sex’ is a tad bit too late. End of PSA.

I find myself getting so angry at these kids, especially at the end of each episode, when the teen mom looks sad (and exhausted) + explains how much harder parenthood is then they had imagined. Uhm. Cue loser Price is Right horns now....OF COURSE this ish is hard. That’s why teens should not be having babies!

I feel my old lady blood pressure rising.

If my kids want to have sex before the age of 24, I am going to find some brand-spanking new parents and make my kids live with them for a week. Here is the abbreviated list of what I want them to learn:

1. Babies make you instantly realize that you are broke. I don’t care how much money you actually have, everyone is in the poor house when a baby arrives. Even with 2 incomes and a number of gift cards from family + friends, the weekly trips to Target/Babies R Us/99 cent store deplete any and all cash. So how is a teen, who’s baby daddy probably works at Cinnabon or Lids, supposed to manage it?

2. Sleep? What’s sleep? I feel like the no-sleep thing is the most talked about but often ignored aspect of parenthood. So, I will describe what sleep deprivation feels like -- its like Freddy Kruger ripping out your eyeballs 1mm per 30 seconds. For the next 18 years of your life. On every episode, the teen mom looks like a walking zombie. This is why.

Parenting. Illustrated with crappy picutres.

3. Say goodbye to friends. Now, my friends are unbelievably patient, loyal and supportive (because they are grown). And, thanks to a great husband who encourages me to go out, I have the time and ability to see my friends. But, it is so damn hard to hang out. By the time I clean up (1st shower in 3 days?), get dressed up, and meet up with people, I usually want to turn around and go to sleep (see point #2). I had dinner with some ladies a week ago and it was all I could do to not put my head on my friend’s lap, curl up in the fetal position, and take a 2 hour nap.

4. What happened to my body? This show is about teens, whose bodies bounce back like nobody’s business, so, this point is all about old lady me. But WHAT THE HELL happened to my body? Why does every square inch of it want to look down at the ground?

5. You go crazy. This, I think, is the most important lesson that all teens should learn before having sex. I’m not sure if its the hormones, lack of sleep, or the smell of formula, but every parent turns into an irrational, scary, raging monster. For almost every question asked of me, I have to give myself a 10 second tape delay before answering. If not, my general response would be, “how the eff should I know? I’m a mom and I don’t sleep!” I recently found myself in a Twitter argument over the merits of Ja Rule. Seriously?! Ja Rule? But that’s the thing...I am now officially crazy.

So, there. Kids don’t have sex. Don’t have babies. Wait until you are old like me, so that you can look back on your teen years with heart-wrenching longing.

Bad Teacher [movie ]....by jayare20k

2011-06-27T13:54:00.004-04:00

: You guys see something funny...?

____________

Full disclosure? When I’m not busy mapping human genomes, bullfighting, or posting snarky comments on the internet… I teach social studies to middle school children. The latter is the most perilous (and amusing) of my hobbies, so I was excited to see that a movie called “Bad Teacher” was on its way. I have found that teaching kids can be a rewarding yet vile, corrupt, inappropriate, and even hilarious enterprise. Judging from the previews it seemed like this Cameron Diaz vehicle would give exposure to those aspects of my job.

(FYI – I write spoilers. This isn’t exactly “Citizen Kane” we’re talking about, so if that sort of thing bothers you I suggest you visit www.uptightmoviedorks.com.)

While BAD TEACHER is not entirely unfunny… I felt like this movie missed the mark. The title evokes memories of Billy Bob Thornton’s role as “Bad Santa.” That film was great because the main character continued to push the sleaze envelope until the audience found him to be – on some level – a likeable character. Unfortunately this film never gives us a reason to root for the bad guy.

Cameron Diaz is believable as an inept gold digger, however she isn’t compelling enough to hold down an entire movie as a loveable asshole. I’m willing to concede my own misogyny here when I say that cruel and crass men strike me as funnier than cruel and vapid women. Maybe it was coping with a female asshole lead that caused the writers of this screenplay to back off the sleaze. The story occasionally swerved into the right path – I was a fan of Cameron lighting her bong with the gas range and offering to suck her fiancé’s dick like she was “mad at it.” Still, there were plenty of low-life jokes that were left unclaimed.

For example: Why did the writers introduce and then virtually ignore the train wreck of a Craig’s List roommate? Why did we never get to enjoy the meek and corruptible co-worker slipping into depravity? Why pay such short thrift to Cameron’s scheme of ripping off her bra and giving it to the shy boy as a trophy? It’s as if the writers made a conscious decision to develop an amoral character, but backed off when it came time to have the character behave terribly. The “Bad Teacher” set-ups never play themselves out in a satisfying way. I can’t help but think that somebody involved with this film held back because the film had a female lead.

I also felt like the actors paired with Cameron Diaz never really found the funny they were capable of. Jason Segel shared no comedic chemistry with any of the characters, which is a shame because I think he’s a funny guy. His talent was pretty much wasted by spending most of the movie making exasperated “oh no this bitch didn’t” facial expressions. Lucy Punch was meant to play goody-good foil to Diaz’s sour bitch… you know, the type of person so sweet and doofy they make you want to cringe? But her character also suffered from passive writing, and the inevitable “meltdown” scene left a lot to be desired. Justin Timberlake’s character stood out, but was notable only because of the strength of his joke delivery. The dry-hump “Oh Face” scene is just another reason why I think JT needs to join the cast of SNL for an entire season (Here are a few other reasons).

The writers were on to something early on when Cameron Diaz taught her class by showing “good teacher” standards like STAND & DELIVER and LEAN ON ME, all the while behaving indifferently towards her own students. The interaction between the kids and adults is what was missing from this movie (and is what ultimately gave an “asshole driven” film like BAD SANTA its heart). The audience spends most of this movie observing adults interact inappropriately… yet most real teachers seldom interact with grown-ups for more than a few minutes daily. Dealing with – and then warping – pliable young minds should have been what BAD TEACHER focused on.

Educators in the audience must have squealed with delight when Cameron Diaz graded papers with “Stupid,” “Stupider,” “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read,” and “Christ, what the FUCK are you talking about?” Socking kids in the face with a kickball because they miss an answer? In my dreams. Classic “good teacher” movies earn that status by highlighting a positive relationship between teacher and pupil. This movie would have done well to find a funny juxtaposition to that model.

I wanted to laugh at all the things I wish I could get away with in a classroom, but never would do. I wanted humorless teachers to be outraged, and uptight parents to wave insipid placards in protest at the local theater. I wanted to be made uncomfortable by watching someone tinker with the dark side of having the power to influence young people’s minds. Instead I got a movie that showed promise, but never lived up to its potential. It was the stuff that mediocre grades are made of.

__________

jayare can be found spouting nonsense on his own twitter feed @jayare20k, or on his blog consumption addict.

Throwback Thursday....2Pac - I get around

2011-06-16T08:08:00.000-04:00

Happy 40th Birthday, Tupac!

(as a feminist, I know I should not like this song or video...but, damn, it is one of my favs)

Negropedia....by pemora

2011-04-30T09:00:00.002-04:00

Okay, here are a couple of things you need to do today:

1. go to The Assimilated Negro and start reading NOW. Wait, maybe not right NOW, but in a couple of seconds
2. pre-order Negropedia
3. thank UrbanRhetoric for putting you on to one of the funniest dudes in the game (not sure which 'game', exactly, but it just seemed an appropriate way to end that sentence)

Seriously, support friend to UR, Patrice Evans. He is about to blow up with a couple of very interesting and highly amusing projects....I am just trying to help you, oh faithful reader, stay on top of your pop culture game (maybe THAT was the game I was talking about).

Edit: This is one of those great projects I was talking about...check out a recent ESPN's Media Zone announcement.

Throwback Thursday.....Don't Walk Away

2011-04-28T07:28:00.000-04:00

I distinctly remember thinking that I could be the 4th member of Jade. Forget the fact that I was in the 8th grade, mouth full of braces, and out of control frizzy hair. I was convinced.

By the way, I was also convinced that this song just SPOKE TO ME. Did I mention that I was in the 8th grade? Uhm, yeah.....

Your Highness [movie ]....by IMTHATDUDE

2011-04-10T20:23:00.000-04:00

YOUR HIGHNESS

Save your bread people. Please. I’ll say it plainly. Do not pay to see this movie.If you MUST see it, find it online. Find a “hook up” on Fulton street. Trick someone else into paying for it. You’d be better off sprinkling salt on your hard earned cash and literally eating it – or, depending on your proclivities, smoking it – a movie ticket these days is about as much as a pack of cigarettes or that other stuff, no?

Written by Danny McBride and Ben Best, Your Highness stars McBride (Eastbound and Down, The Foot Fist Way) and directed by David Gordon Green (Pineapple Express - which I hated - and All the Real Girls), Your Highness boasts some of Hollywood’s brightest talents. Yet, two exceptional actors cannot make this crapfest less crappy. In fact, both Natalie Portman and my girl Zooey Deschanel (500 Days of Summer) did like the Knicks do (with Melo and Stoudemire) against the Lebronless Cavs – they played down to the level of their competition. Sorry. Still love you both, but… eh. This was far from good work. Also lending their time to this weird almost amusing feature are an inexplicably effeminate James Franco (you kind of can’t miss this guy these days, he’s everywhere), Justin Theroux (Mullholland Drive, American Psycho), Damian Lewis (Dreamcatcher and NBC’s short-lived, Life) as Booremont, Charles Dance (Gosford Park, Scoop), and Rasmus Hardiker (I Want Candy) as Courtney, the sidekick/squire/jester and a Farscape looking perverted puppet.

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

You might not have heard me when I said don’t waste your doe. But since you did me the courtesy of continuing to read this review… It’s the story of the herb smoking prince philandering slovenly screw-up prince Thaddeus (McBride) who is on the verge of being banished unless he steps up his princely game and starts to elevate himself from the shadow of his older brother Fabious (Franco). Fabious, of course, is well-loved by King Tallious (Dance) and the entire kingdom. So Fabious post-vanquishing one of the kingdom’s foes has returned home and brought back a virgin wife, Belladonna (Deschanel). Belladonna is swiftly kidnapped by the villain warlock Leezar (Theroux) and Thaddeus must join Fabious on the quest to save Belladonna. On the quest they meet with a variety of obstacles and cross paths with the lovely and deadly Isabel. Blah, blah, blah. A ton of crude jokes – which, I ordinarily love, but could barely muster a laugh at in this movie – and some random topless clan of women later, I found myself checking my watch and wondering when it would all be over. In my best Danny Glover voice, maybe “I’m getting too old for this sh!t.” Well, not really. But, I’m definitely too smart for it and, since you’re reading this, you are too.

The most interesting thing about this movie is the thought that either Zooey or Natalie (or both) might have some silly love scene or MIGHT flash a bit of breastage. Please be advised - THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN. Nor should anyone with half a brain have expected either of them to be so foolish as to have such a scene in this kind of movie. However, as one of the stoners in the theater quipped about Portman to his fellow stoner “dude, I didn’t think she’d do a nude scene, but I heard there was nudity and Natalie Portman already got her Oscar, so…I mean all those breasts and she couldn’t even show us a nip or something.” I, literally, laughed out loud. While Natalie has continued the tradition of following an Oscar winning performance with an awful movie choice (See Halle Berry, Charlize Theron, and whatever dumb ass film Monique will do post-Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire), she’s no dummy – so, negative on the Portman breastage. Stoner #1 did have a point in his own weirdly logical way. At least it was funny to hear her say something about her “burning beaver.” Stoner #2 posed an interesting reply

(completely unrelated to the immediately preceding comment by his friend, Stoner #1), “Bro, why didn’t this movie come out on 4-20?” THAT is a great question. And with that, finding myself confounded by the interrogative of a random moviegoer who smelled heavy of the purple/kush or whatever those kids are smoking these days, I think I will conclude this review here. Even high, this movie wouldn’t be funny. Of that, I am pretty damned sure.

That Dude gives Your Highness: 2

RATING SYSTEM:

1. They make crap this pure?
2. Couldn’t be more under-whelmed.
3. Not too shabby, I won’t ask for my money back.
4. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good./Worth the 12 bucks.
5. Why are you reading this and not seeing this movie? Jackass.

HANNA [movie review]....by IMTHATDUDE

2011-04-10T20:11:00.001-04:00

HANNA

“I just missed your heart.” Hanna, the titular character, utters this phrase near the start of the film. (I like saying TITular – I told you before I’m still a kid in spirit.) What an accurate metaphor for this movie. That line is so incredibly important. It is where they drew me into the film and the precise moment they LOST me. That will become clear to you if you see the movie.

Let’s get to the deets…

The story’s by Seth Lochhead; it’s written by Lochhead and David Farr (you’ll probably have to be a fan of British TV to know Farr’s work – Spooks/MI-5), and Joe Wright (Atonement*, Pride & Prejudice) helms it. Hanna begs the question - was this movie as the writer wrote it or did the studio execs and producers put their two cents in and diminish what was a great idea? My gut tells me it was the latter.

Anyway, Hanna stars an up-and-comer Saoirse Ronan (The Lovely Bones, Atonement) – busy girl for 17-years old, busy in a good way; not in a Bristol Palin kind of way. I think she’s very good. Definitely keep an eye on this youngin’s work.

Eric Bana (Munich, Troy) – dude, I was about to write you off after Hulk, the Other Boleyn Girl and Time Traveler’s Wife, but we’re cool again. Olivia Williams (Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse), Jason Flemyng (Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Snatch), and he scene thief Jessica Barden (you’ll know her when you see her).

Of course, I have not forgotten our villainess, the remarkable Cate Blanchett. It turns out Hanna puts what may be the limits of Cate’s abilities under a spotlight. (I still think she is the next Meryl Streep, but…) She can do everything… except have a southern American accent. Play an evil witch? No problem. A dancer? Certainement. The Queen of bloody England? Right, mate. “The mightiest and fairest of all the Elves that remained in Middle-earth?” Gee, Mr. Frodo. I surely think so. ASIDE: Do you know the game “I’d rather”? Well, I’d rather… Cate Blanchett or Kate Winslett? I’m going with Cate plus a burger any day – for nearly any question you’d ask. I don’t know who Cate studied but that accent was one of the most inconsistent and weird sounding accents I’ve heard since Steven Seagal’s Mexican accent in… MACHETE!

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

Hanna (Ronan) is coming of age tale of a teenage girl raised by her father - in the forest. (I know what you're thinking – But no, this time it’s not brown folks home schooling their offspring in the woods. Seriously, somebody should make that movie. That would be original in any genre.) So, Hanna’s father, Erik (Bana) raises her in the away from the rest of society and teaches her survival skills, how to fight, how to kill and semper paratus – that’s for my Latin geeks. Erik, a former kick ass operative of some sort is training his daughter for the day where she must meet and kill Marissa (Blanchett), an enigmatic CIA operative.

The gist of the story is this: Marissa did Hanna’s family dirty; Marissa has so severely vexed Erik that he has taken this infant child and trained her to be an assassin with an encyclopedic memory for useless information, including the population of certain European cities. The point is…

either Hanna or Marissa must die. When Hanna is ready to venture out into the world, Erik will release her and she can execute (pun intended) her mission. That’s where we start.

Hanna is a revenge flick with a few little telegraphed twists. It’s interesting because it takes you on Hanna’s journey of self-discovery interspersing decent action sequences while maintaining an indie film texture. Of course, Marissa isn’t just going to sit and wait for Hanna to come to her, so she sends some people out to kill her. See… that’s where this started to get a little off track for me. Why didn’t Erik just train her to be an sniper and make the movie about 5 minutes and allow this kid some sort of life? That’s not very fatherly. More importantly, it’s a waste of my damned time. Nevertheless, I was willing to suspend my disbelief and follow Hanna for a while. But there were random times when this super soldier teenage girl just pissed me off with how she did things. Sure, that can be explained, but some of the corniness of either the writers or the studios cannot be excused. To be specific, I mean that whole I just missed your heart thing. I’d love for you all to see this movie and tell me what you think about that line and how it plays a part in this movie. Saoirse reminds me of a blonde little sister of Summer Glau (who I love as an action movie actress – Rent or buy “Serenity” and you will agree), but her gracefulness and undeniable potential cannot salvage this movie which is currently headed for tops of my list for overrated flicks in next year’s Shammis. Oh, and Jessica Barden’s character was comic relief. Thank you for that, kid.

Sometimes I feel that people tend to be slaves to the story arch and for me, that’s pretty lame. Some of the best movies are not wrapped in a tidy little predictable package. I was hoping Hanna would be one of those. It was not. At the end of the day, the line that drew me in… assassinated my willingness to either cosign this flick or continue my suspension of disbelief. AND, you know how they say everything is better when it’s free? Well, I saw this for free and it ended up being lame anyway, despite being gratuitous – so much for that free theory of everything (Although, it still works with food.)

That Dude gives Hanna: 2

* Atonement is the winner of the Shammi Award for Dopest Promotion for a Film (aka Most Overrated and Over-hyped Film – But not necessarily “bad” film) (Shammi Awards 2010, coming soon…!)

RATING SYSTEM:

1. They make crap this pure?
2. Couldn’t be more under-whelmed.
3. Not too shabby, I won’t ask for my money back.
4. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good./Worth the 12 bucks.
5. Why are you reading this and not seeing this movie? Jackass.

Throwback Thursday....A Couple o' Songs

2011-03-31T11:17:00.001-04:00

I know I said I would write a real post soon, but I just cannot think of anything to say right now. I mean, I have A LOT to say, but mostly it is related to being large + in charge.

Anyway, a couple of us were sharing our favorite songs on FB and I thought I would share with all of you. See if you can guess my pick....

Throwback Thursday.....O.P.P.

2011-03-24T08:44:00.000-04:00

My oh my. It seems that I only post on Thursdays. While I am not really complaining, (I mean, who doesn't like to reminisce about songs and then post them?) I kinda feel like I should post more. More fashion? Make-up advice? Movie reviews? Jokes at the expense of my baby daddy? The possibilities are endless....

As usual, this Throwback Thursday was just a song I woke up with in my mind. Not sure why, given that the last time I heard it was probably in 7th grade at someone's Bar Mitzvah. But, sometimes, you need a little O.P.P. in your life....

Jump Around.....Throwback Thursday

2011-03-17T07:17:00.000-04:00

As any hip hop head/non-Irish knows, 'Jump Around' is the closest that many of us have ever come to recognizing anything remotely Irish. So, to celebrate St. Patty's Day, I feel it is only right to listen to this song 3 times. Because that is the max number of times one can listen to 'Jump Around' before getting sick of the song.

PS: remember when every girl of color watched this and had a HUGE crush on Danny Boy? And then there was a rumor that he died and we were all crushed? No?...maybe that was just me....

Throwback Thursday.....Sky's The Limit

2011-03-10T18:43:00.000-05:00

Given that yesterday was the 14th anniversary of BIG's death and that I am OBSESSED with this song, it seemed only appropriate to make it the Throwback Thursday post....enjoy!

Vans x Hello Kitty.....by pemora

2011-03-06T09:45:00.000-05:00

As I said before, I have a new found obsession with kicks. Especially after a chiropractor looked at my lower back yesterday and declared that I might limp for the rest of my life (she didn't, really, but it felt like she did), I am on a mission to amass a collection of sneakers that are suitable for my everyday life. Of course, I don't want to go too crazy, as I might slip into a deep depression post-pregnancy when my bosses tell me that I now need to return to the land of actual shoes. Alas, I still have 3 months to go....

When I read on Refinery29 that Vans will launch a new collection with, egads, Hello freaking Kitty, I could not stop squealing. The baby daddy promptly spoiled my glee by asking if I was going to purchase a pair for the new baby. Clearly, the correct reaction should have been am I going to purchase every single pair for myself.

These sneakers need to be under my Birthday Tree this spring. Hear that, the 2 relatives who actually read this? Btw, can you mention it to the baby daddy too?

Images courtesy of Refinery29

Throwback Thursday.....Do Me! (Remix)

2011-03-03T20:06:00.000-05:00

I actually heard this on WBLS last night and cannot stop singing it. It totally reminds me of middle school parties and getting my freak on with little boys from other private schools....

Man, that is so disturbing. And now that I hear the lyrics, I am even more disturbed.....

The Wellington Papers [URB Mag Interview]....by pemora

2011-03-01T18:36:00.000-05:00

I don't sweat many people. In fact, if I were to list the people I actually do sweat, it would sound like an acceptance speech at the BET Awards.....God, my baby daddy, my son and my mama. Probably the Korean lady who hooks up the hems on all articles of clothing. But that's it. Actually, no wait, I also sweat my good friend, HB Wellington.

Why?

Well, that's easy. Besides being a fellow May baby, HB is supportive, has tons of positive energy (when he isn't acting like a derel), and is uber-creative. Basically, he's that guy you just wish you could hate but can't because he's probably finding a way to hook you up too.

Anyway, URB Magazine caught up with The Wellington Papers and put together a pretty sweet interview. Check it out here. Its good to support good people.

Photo courtesy of URB Magazine

What to Wear When Knocked Up...by pemora

2011-02-27T08:46:00.001-05:00

On Twitter, I explained my current state of dressing:

Speaking of style, I would describe my maternity look as homeless woman finds a fly pair of kicks. #pregnancy

Actually, I aspire to look like this chick:


Can't remember which blog I stole this from....help!

Everything about this outfit is perfection. And since the baby daddy has forbidden me from rocking my usual 4 - 5 in. heels, I have been going through a pretty nice rotation of my kicks. Seriously, I never knew I owned so many. And they are of all different colors and height combinations (the only constant is that, with the exception of a pretty sweet pair of Jordans, they are all Nike AF1's or dunks). I still wear my girly dresses and skirts, but there is something kinda badass about finishing the look with a fresh pair of kicks. I have forgotten how awesome kicks can be.

My other maternity staples?
1. granny undies
2. chin-high leggings
3. muumuus (just kidding. They just FEEL like muumuus)
4. Big Daddy Kane-esque jewelry (you know, to distract from the belly)

I wonder what other stylish baby mamas are wearing right now. Ideas?

Throwback Thursday....Straight Up

2011-02-10T20:57:00.000-05:00

I definitely woke up this morning with this song stuck in my head. I even sang it to myself in the shower and tried to reenact the whole tap dance scene. Except...my shower fits half of an adult-sized body and I am 5 months pregnant. But, still.....I was Paula Abdul up in that piece.

V-Day Gift List by pemora

2011-01-17T19:38:00.000-05:00

In my haste/oversight/laziness, I neglected to post a holiday wishlist for the dudes. My bad. Visions of chocolate-flavored coquito, pasteles and paella distracted me from the blog. 15,000 calories later and I'm back....just in time for Valentine's Day!

So, ladies + gents, what follows is a wishlist of sorts for that special guy in your life. Most likely your baby daddy, but it could be a husband, boyfriend, jump off, or the boy you stalk on Twitter. Whatever. I don't judge.

**By the way, if you ARE buying a gift for your baby daddy, make sure that his child support check is in the mail. And if you ARE buying a gift for the boy you stalk, well, good luck. That's all on you.**


Skullcandy


Amazon


Urban Outfitters

Compost Cookie via Momofuku

Fred Flare

Most Played in 2010....

2010-12-31T04:16:00.002-05:00

....not to be confused with 'played out'. Which is a whole other entry.

Since we are not so intrigued by posting a "Best of" list, we thought it would be interesting to see what folks were listening to the most in 2010.

Come on Down -De La Soul feat. Flavor Flav [Paj1]
Shutterbug -Big Boi [IMTHATDUDE]
Untitled Track (Recovery Album) -Eminem [Dough]
All I Want Is You -Miguel feat. J Cole [pemora]
Outstanding -The Gap Band [missDTM]
Tangerine -Big Boi feat. TI & Khujo Goodie [Kev frum BK!]
Grenade -Bruno Mars [DJ Shakez]
Swing -Zero 7 [jayare20k]

Thanks to our loyal readers (all 4 of you) for contributing as well....what song did you listen to the most in 2010?

And, to the 4 loyal readers, Happy Freaking New Year! Here's hoping to get a 5th reader in 2011!

Tron: Legacy [review]....by IMTHATDUDE

2010-12-25T20:02:00.000-05:00

Tron: Legacy

After decades of chatter, sci-fi geeks have finally gotten what they’ve been clamoring over since Tron first hit the big screen in 1982. A sequel. And we all know how awesome sequels tend to be. Instant Correction: We all know how awesomely LAME sequels tend to be. Tron was no different.

First time feature the film director Joseph Kosinski helms Tron: Legacy, which is written by first time feature film writers Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz (they did write for several TV shows including Lost and the inimitable Birds of Prey! If you haven’t seen Birds of Prey, think Cleopatra 2525 but way worse). Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart, The Big Lebowski) reprises his role as Kevin Flynn, the inventor of Tron. It also stars Garrett Hedlund (Country Strong, Troy), Olivia Wilde (Year One, Alpha Dog & TV’s House) and Bruce Boxleitner (Tron, TV’s Babylon 5). FYI: Legacy does get to boast of one good thing… they saw fit to give a smidget of screen time to one of my babies’ mamas – Christine Adams. Yes, I did say one of, because I have quite the substantial list of candidates ranging from starlets to writers. One day I will post that list, which is always subject to change (eg, Zoe Saldana’s recent departure from the list. Lo Siento, Zoe, but,if it makes it any easier for you, it was a difficult decision).

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

Here’s the quick and dirty for the sci-curious. Tron is a videogame, but more. It’s a cyber world created by Flynn (Bridges) based on a video game. Flynn’s been missing for over 20 years and left his son Sam (Hedlund) and the rest of the world wondering what happened. In actuality (not a SPOILER) Flynn’s been stuck inside of this cyber world the entire time until Alan (Boxleitner) gets a mysterious message from a disconnected number which accidentally leads Sam to get sucked into the world of Tron. Sam then has to track down his pops and fight his way home. Of course, this is no easy feat. First, Sam has to figure out the rules of this world, which include deadly games for digital survival (which of course has real implications in the real world) In the Tron world, unlike the Matrix, your actual physical body gets thrown inside the program, so if you die, there’s no trace of you homey.

You’re like Jimmy Hoffa or Nicki Minaj’s talent.

People will be wondering where you are for a long time.

If I told you more about the story, I’d be removing what little twisty bits of story the writers and directors pray will keep you in your seat and stop you from walking out or falling asleep.

Obviously, the best part of this movie was the effects. However, that was a little disappointing too. At times, I couldn’t help but think about how George Lucas must feel watching some of these Darth Maul rip-offs flit about the screen. There was anything groundbreaking about the graphics like Avatar and there was nothing incredible about the story or the story telling. It was obvious what would happen, how soon it would happen, and even HOW whatever was going to happen would happen. The only things that make this movie tolerable are the action sequences (which could be better and after 28 years, SHOULD be much better), the Christine Adams sighting, Olivia Wilde and Beau Garrett in their skin tight outfits, and the occasional Dude-isms from Bridges.

Also, Disney, it is NOT cool that I couldn’t find the original on DVD anywhere, which made it impossible to remember or figure out why I vaguely recall semi-liking it. I suspect, I probably didn’t like the original anydamnway. I absolutely hate not being able to compare films for continuity, quality, and character development. I think Disney didn’t want people to do that and Netflix is in on it with them. I smell a C-O-N spiracy.

Put in the most simple way I can, if you planned on seeing a good Jeff Bridges movie this season, then you need to go see True Grit (review coming soon).

That Dude gives Tron-Legacy: 2

RATING SYSTEM:

1. They make crap this pure?
2. Couldn’t be more under-whelmed.
3. Not too shabby, I won’t ask for my money back.
4. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good./Worth the 12 bucks.
5. Why are you reading this and not seeing this movie? Jackass.

True Grit [review]...by IMTHATDUDE

2010-12-25T19:56:00.000-05:00

True Grit

Now, this is a how you do a remake. True Grit is so worth the venture out of the warmth of your crib and onto the frozen tundra. Just don’t do like I did and see it in a touristy area like Union Square or Times Square. Why, you ask… Because I nearly lost my temper and took it to the wild west on this skinny jean wearing youngster sitting behind me who couldn’t stop clipping my chair with his feet all because he couldn’t sit still. Here’s a hint for you douchebag, wear looser clothing! You’re a DUDE. If you don’t let ‘em breathe, they’ll demand their freedom, moron. I’m sorry, but I had to vent for a second.

So . . . Ethan and Joel Coen (Fargo, No Country for Old Men) these brothers (not brothAs) got busy on the rewrite of the classic John Wayne film and jumped behind the camera to direct what is a truly laudable reincarnation.

Jeff Bridges (Tron, Tron: Legacy), Matt “How ‘bout dem apples” Damon (Bourne Trilogy, Good Will Hunting), Josh Brolin (No Country for Old Men, Jonah Hex) and Barry Pepper (Saving Private Ryan, Casino Jack) all take a back seat to Hailee Steinfeld (some TV and Shorts, but no features).

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

14-year old Mattie Ross (Steinfeld) has come to collect her murdered father and settle his business. She intends to have justice for his murder and is determined to find the lawman capable of bringing in Tom Chaney (Brolin), the man who shot and killed her father. Did I mention she’s doing this on her own? Young, but incredibly wise beyond her years, the razor-tongued Mattie has gets her sights set on one Rueben “Rooster” Cogburn (Bridges) as her champion. Rooster happens to be an ill-tempered US Marshal, a war veteran, a dead shot shooter, and a serious drunk. But he’s also honorable and a straight talker… to everybody, whether you happen to be a killer with a gun pointed at him or a adolescent girl dangerously out of her depth. Mattie contracts Rooster to find and bring Chaney to justice (preferably so he can be “hanged” or in the alternative shot on the spot), but there’s a Texas Ranger also on the trail of Tom Chaney. LaBoeuf (Damon) is hunting Chaney and crosses paths with this vendetta-driven 14 year old and the aging agent.

In typical Coen brothers form, True Grit is very well written, especially the speaking parts for Mattie. Trust me, Urban Fam, we will be hearing from lil Hailee Steinfeld for many years to come in the same way we now hear from Abigail Breslin, Dakota Fanning, etc.

I had two issues with this flick (well, three if you count the euro-tool in the seat behind me) were 1) the pacing seemed a little off at times and 2) the Coen brothers seem to like to leave some sort of thought provoking statement at the end of their films and it doesn’t always work (for example, in No Country, when Tommy Lee Jones gives his soliloquy and then the movie just ends… WACK. I liken it to Spike Lee’s “WAKE UUUUUUUUP!” moment at the end of School Daze. So completely unnecessary.

That Dude gives True Grit: 4

RATING SYSTEM:

1. They make crap this pure?
2. Couldn’t be more under-whelmed.
3. Not too shabby, I won’t ask for my money back.
4. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good./Worth the 12 bucks.
5. Why are you reading this and not seeing this movie? Jackass.

Black Swan [review]....by IMTHATDUDE

2010-12-25T19:53:00.000-05:00

Black Swan

microwave review

Written by Mark Heyman and Andres Heinz, this new film by Brooklyn boy Darren Aronofsky (Requiem for a Dream, The Wrestler) is aight, but I’m sorry to say, the more time I have to think about it - the more lame I think the movie was. There were some great things about it. Cinematography, dramatic performances by Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis, visual effects… yet… increasingly lame. So I talked to one of my fellow movie addicts after she saw it and she had a couple of simple ideas that would’ve made it a better movie – ideas different from the things I thought would’ve made it a better movie. The point is, if two non-movie makes can sit through the critically acclaimed film and come up with a bunch of easy fixes that could make this movie tighter, better, smarter, or cooler, then the movie can’t be THAT good.

It wasn’t. Like I said, it was just aight.

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

The story’s about Nina (Portman), a troubled up and coming ballet dancer, and her pursuit of perfection in the performance of her live – Swan Lake. That’s all folks. That’s all you MUST know.

Again, Natalie Portman’s performance was stellar, as usual. Hopefully, she went out and had some grub IMMEDIATELY after this movie was over. FYI: Natalie will be costarring in my sleeper pic of 2011, Thor – directed by the great Kenneth Branagh. You heard it here first - great expectations for Thor. It looks so much better than the other stuff on the horizon (like Green Lantern and Green Hornet).

Mila Kunis, impressive yet again – she was the best thing about two crappy movies in a row (Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Book of Eli). Who’d’ve thunk that Jackie from That 70s Show would turn out to be the best actor on the show? Mila is one of the two best things about Aronofsky’s flick. I hope she starts getting larger roles and better movies really soon.

That Dude gives Black Swan: 2.5 (that number could drop by the time I get around to doing my best of 2010 list)

RATING SYSTEM:

1. They make crap this pure?
2. Couldn’t be more under-whelmed.
3. Not too shabby, I won’t ask for my money back.
4. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good./Worth the 12 bucks.
5. Why are you reading this and not seeing this movie? Jackass.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows [review]....by IMTHATDUDE

2010-12-25T19:48:00.000-05:00

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I

With a run time of two hours and twenty –six minutes (give or take a lifetime), I have to say I absolutely LOVED....leaving the theater. LLLLLOVED IT. Sweet Baby Jesus - this movie felt like a two hour twenty-six minute stint in a crowded maximum security prison shower with no guards – I’ve never been there, but it’s safe to assume you would really REALLY not like being there, especially if you knew that when you finally got to leave, it wouldn’t actually over yet because there’s a Part TWO! in just a few months.

I know, I know. The Harry Potheads out there will disagree and chase me down like a finch at a quidditch tournament. Yikes! Scary thought. Oh, wait… grown ass people really do that.

Do I have to say it? I mean… word? Do I?

Alas, to the flick deets. The story is by Paper Stacks (government name “JK Rowling”) and on the keyboard is Steve Kloves (all the other HP’s except Order of the Phoenix, me thinks). David Yates (Order of the Phoenix, Half-Blood Prince) directs the usual cast of characters, Daniel Radcliffe (aka “Potter. Harry Potter” – is it just me or is that name kinda soft core porn-ish? Just me? Emma Watson is Hermione Granger and Rupert Grint is Ron Weasley. SIDE NOTE: People always make fun of black/brown folks names - what’s wrong with names like “Shamik Tetteh Pabon” – huh, pemora & paj1? “Rupert Grint” is his real name! I rest my freaking case. Ralph Fiennes, Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, and several others are all back for the penultimate HP movie.

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

This is Harry Potter’s seventh jaunt into the film world thanks to JK “Paper Stacks” Rowling who is sick with the pen. Not that I read any of these books, but I tried to read Chamber of Secrets at a Barnes & Noble bookstore once but I don’t really get into stuff like this – unless, it’s onscreen. If I’m going to get all cozy with a book, it aint gonna be about a tween wizard playing with brooms and wands. A-yo! I’ll pass. I did read about 12 pages of one of these uber-best sellers from Paper Stack can write her tiny British bum off.

So, Harry reluctantly rallies his crew – Hermione and Ron. Somehow they are foiled at nearly every turn as the try to find and destroy the mystical Hulcruxwhosiwhatsits. I think I should remind you – if you haven’t read the books or seen the previous flicks SPOILER ALERT ………………………………………………..Again, SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!

I should remind you that Dumbledore is dead as a doornail. For my Latinos - Albus es finito, mi hijo. (Can you tell I’ve been practicing mi español?) Voldemort (the villain who sounds like an STD – so let’s just call him VD, shall we?) is pooling his evil resources to effect the takeover of the ministry of magic and then… the WORLD.

Bwahahahaha! Who wouldn’t be scared of this face?

If it wasn’t for Potter, Hermione, Weezy gumming up the works, he’d have an easy go about it to.

As ominous as Voldemort and his death-eating crew seem, there really are only about 8 of those fools. Yet, the good guys, who are plentiful, have the strength of a big bowl of puddin’ – more on this later.
So, Harry, Weezy and Hermione get their whosiwhatsit destroying quest under way, but they have to fend off the constant threat of the VD gang. Long story short, it’s a race against time in this NEVER ending saga of good vs. evil and goody for us, they let us watch it slowly unfold over the course of 6 days (or 2 ½ hours, whatever).

My problem: Too many good guys not enough bad guys. Are the good guys that “pudding” or are the bad guys so freaking g’d up that the good guys and all their goodness were simply impotent against them? That may not be what the books portray, but the movies do. The book MIGHT explain that, but the movie… sho’ don’t. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again before my time on the intrawebs is over – Every movie should stand and feel complete on its own merit. I shouldn’t need a workbook or companion manual to go along with the film.

Listen, the special effects were very good. They usually are. The plot, as an individual movie, was a little weak. Pretty weeny, in fact.   Again, let me say Paper Stacks is an exceptional writer. I just couldn’t help the feeling that I was sitting through what was largely a placeholder until the actual movie started. How would you feel if the coming attractions lasted nearly 2 hours and the movie was only about 26 minutes long? Well, that’s how it felt? Me and the throngs of Potheads basically shelled out our doe as the studios maximized the total revenue yield from the Deathly Hallows.

It had so much potential from the outset. People dying. Darker tone. All that good stuff. Not your little sibling’s Mr. Potter. But then… it just kinda got lame and returned to lame-status quite frequently throughout the one hundred and forty-six minutes of run time. Potheads unite against me if you will.

But I’m like Severus. You aint about to kill me, baby. Oh… wait…

(PS: JK, I see you. If you’re ever in need a brother to give you some Severus BLACK Snape, holla at me. I’m kidding. I just wanted to get my point across about the character names in this series.)

That Dude gives Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I: 2

RATING SYSTEM:   1. They make crap this pure? 
                                 2. Couldn’t be more under-whelmed.
                                 3. Not too shabby, I won’t ask for my money back. 
                                 4. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good./Worth the 12 bucks.
                                  5. Why are you reading this and not seeing this movie? Jackass.

UR Gives Thanks

2010-11-26T09:27:00.004-05:00

Yeah, yeah, we're a day late + a dollar short on this whole giving thanks thing, but blame the coquito-induced coma for our tardiness. Anyway, some things that we are giving thanks for this year:

Photo courtesy of MissInfo.TV

Me? I'm thankful for Kanye West's mental health. Did anyone peep his ode to Earth, Wind + Fire outfit at the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade? Pure entertainment. That man has me laughing for days. ~ pemora

I'm thankful Jay-Z's Decoded was only 18 bucks on Amazon.com, because if it wasn't it would have stayed right there on the shelf. Not to mention in one week I've already run into two cute women (bookworms of the non-chicken variety) also reading it at the same time.
~ IMTHATDUDE

I give thanks for super long remixes with every rapper like on Chris Brown's "Deuces" that make you forget about the original song. ~ JBoogs

I'm thankful for rapper names like Wocka Flocka Flame and Wiz Khalifa. Wait...how do you spell Wiz Khalifa?
~ Paj1

Holiday Wish List (for the ladies!)...by pemora

2010-11-21T09:31:00.000-05:00

When I was little, I thought Santa Claus was a cute old white man but never believed that he was the one actually bringing me presents. I always knew that my parents were the ones hooking me up, so at a very young age I decided I would help them. Once the Sunday circulars arrived at our house promoting holiday sales, I would gather them all up and create a master shopping list for my parents. This included a clear description of every item I wanted, with comparison prices at each of the major stores. For efficiency, I would also highlight the lowest price for my parents, so that they knew which store to go for the bargain deal.

I was such a thoughtful kid.

This habit still lives strong, as I usually tell my husband the 1 or 2 items that I would really like and even email him several links, so that he knows exactly where to buy it from. Although this removes the element of surprise, I was never one to be left in the dark, so it is always a success.*

*Note: I do have 1 quick admission...the occasional times when the baby daddy DOES surprise me? Always ends up being the BEST gifts and ones that I never ever would have thought of/asked for/seen myself with.

So, here is a little holiday wish list. For all of you, not me. I am trying to do this "giving" thing. But if you buy me one of these items, I would not complain.

Get Your Read On....by pemora

2010-11-07T08:02:00.001-05:00

Note: this is not a book review. I have not read either book and I am still debating whether or not I will. I DO know, however, that I am purchasing the anthology for the baby daddy for Christmas. And I can say that on this public forum because, as supportive as he is, the baby daddy NEVER reads UR. Which says a lot about our relationship. But, alas, I won't go there.

Recently, Dough put me on to this New York Magazine article by Sam Anderson. Trust me, you need to stop reading UR right now, click on the link and then come back to us. It will be worth the minute it will take you to read the whole article.

Back? Okay, I found that article to be quite nauseating (seriously, son, you have never heard of a 2pac song?) and even the idea of two professors compiling lyrics for the anthology has me a bit skeeved. Let me try to explain -- like the good Dominican mother that I am, I am overprotective of the genre of hip hop. I quite often feel that it is 'ours' not 'theirs' (lately, my definition of those two words has come to mean a generational difference) and I fight with people over the commercialization of the music. Of course, I also like me some Weezy, so I am a case in contradictions. But this is why I can never fully explain my defensive nature when it comes to hip hop.

I am intrigued by the idea of this anthology and wonder what some of my favorite songs look like on paper. And while I am annoyed that Sam Anderson asked the ultimate hip hop question (who is the best lyricist of all-time), I thoroughly enjoy thinking about it.

So, will you purchase the book? What do you think of this anthology?

By the way, while looking this up on Amazon, I came across Jay-Z's Decoded. After eagerly awaiting its release when I was teaching a course on 90's hip hop last year (see? Contradictions again), I completely forgot that it was dropping this month. Given that I consider Jay-Z to be one of the best of the best, I might have to purchase this one for myself.

Some background -- the original concept of the book was to explain and give context to his lyrics. It looks like they have expanded on the idea a little, with Jay-Z also adding some social commentary.

In all, it looks like I am purchasing both books this winter. What about you? Any interest in either book?

UR's Top 10 MC's of the 21st Century....by UR Staff

2010-10-28T10:25:00.003-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, BET held a roundtable discussion (the only really note-worthy person in attendance was Jermaine Dupri....take from that what you will) discussing the Top 10 MC's of the 21st Century. The rules, as far as we understood them (can you tell that we didn't actually watch the show?) was to include rappers that started in the last decade, they had to drop an album post-1999, and no groups. This was their list:

1. Eminem
2. Lil' Wayne
3. Kanye West
4. 50 Cent
5. T.I.
6. Ludacris
7. Drake
8. Young Jeezy
9. Jadakiss
10. Rick Ross

The UR staff got into a pretty interesting conversation about our own top 10 lists. After a little bit of back + forth, we decided that our list would be:

1. Mos def
2. Kanye
3. Eminem
4. Weezy
5. Talib
6. TI

7. Luda
8. Fab
9. Jadakiss
10. Lupe
Honorable Mention: Little Brother (sadness about the no groups rule)

Cleary, we all felt a bit confined by the rules set forth by BET. In the end, I think we were all comfortable giving Mos the top honors. It is interesting to note that we were a house divided on our stance about Weezy (IMTHATDUDE would rather we included Wayne Brady).

Thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with us? Anyone you would add/take off?

~UR Staff

Def Jam Rapster [review]....by pemora

2010-10-24T17:39:00.002-04:00

As a huge fan of Guitar Hero (I mean, huge. As in, hours upon hours of battling each other with the plastic wireless ugly-ass guitars), I was a wee bit unsure of whether I would like the new Def Jam Rapstar. Would Rapster do for hip hop what Guitar Hero did for rock?

(let me explain....as a result of the marathon battles of Guitar Hero, I can now walk into any hole-in-the-wall bar and sing at the top of my lungs with my fellow gringos. "Heart-Shaped Box"? Check. "Shout at the Devil?" Check. "Message in a Bottle"? Check.)

So, when my sis gave Rapster to the baby daddy as a birthday gift, I was excited to try it out. The first thing I noticed was the small size of the mic (no dirty minds, children). As a HHK-veteran, I am used to the weight of a real mic. But, alas, this is HHK for my living room, so I just need to get over out.

Next, I was pleasantly surprised at the selection of songs. Everything from 'Gin + Juice' to 'Scenario' to 'Get Low' and 'Best I Ever Had'. Even though there is a nice selection, I would like to see MORE songs included. I am excited to see which songs can be downloaded.

Finally, this is a fun group party game. Our group of friends each took turns and it was hilarious to see folks perform. I quickly realized a couple of things:

1. 'Push It' really only has 2 words in the entire song. And some ahhh's in there too.
2. I know every single word to 'Crush on You'. Every. Single. Word.
3. IMTHATDUDE is painfully shy. Get on the mic, son.
4. Paj1 is so not shy. Did he really perform 'Turn My Swag On' in front of everyone?

All in all, an amusing game. I'm not sure how long one can stay entertained after running through the list of about 25 songs, which is why I need to look into this download option. Also, I forgot how entertaining some of these videos are. Seriously, the 'Scenario' video just so reminds me of being a teenager. Oh, and how much I loved skinny, backpack, Busta Rhymes.

Yours truly performing 'Slam' by Onyx. Yes, in a frilly blouse. I'm a mess.

Bringing Me Back from Shopping Death...by pemora

2010-10-11T11:16:00.000-04:00

One person who was quite supportive during my shopping hiatus was Merl over at Clyde's Rebirth. Not only is she someone who ALWAYS answers my emails/tweets/posts/smoke signals but she constantly has something witty/charming/insightful to say. Not a wasted word from this one. And she hooked me up with a pretty badass red silk jumpsuit that makes me look like the Latina version of Donna Summer circa 'On The Radio'. Oh yes, it is THAT badass.

Anyway, Merl is hosting a pretty sick giveaway that I just had to enter. For more details and to check out her rad lookbook, head on over to Clyde's Rebirth. Run don't walk.

I think this giveaway is just the motivation I need to get out of my shopping rut. Am Ex, I'm back, baby!

On The Eve [Shop Free September Update]....by pemora

2010-09-30T20:44:00.003-04:00

On the eve of the finale of my Shop Free September initiative, I feel very very excited. Before I tell you all the things that I really want to buy (yes, I know that defeats the purpose), I wanted to take a moment to be a little reflective. Because, well, wasn't that the point of all of this?

1. It is very hard to keep my promise. I totally cheated. Twice. The 1st time was on FNO, when I stood on a very long line, for a very long time, with very high wedges on a cobblestone road all to see Rachel Zoe. ADJ from Green Eggs and Glam was with me and when we decided to hop off of the line (because some skanky model-looking chicks cut about 2/3 of the folks in the line and I was quite hungry and it was obvious that Ms. Zoe was not going to see us) I realized that I could no longer feel my toes. At all. And suddenly my awesome red rose jacket was being molested by fabulous gay boys and I had to take very deep breaths to even take 1 step. I am not even sure how we ended up in the JCrew, but once I saw some flat shoes, I was sold. So, yes, I bought them. I'm sorry.

The 2nd time was when I ordered a crapload of clothes for my son from the Gap and saw that there was a cute sparkly bracelet in my shopping cart and did nothing to remove it. I just pressed 'order' and called it a night. I have no excuse for that one.

2. I shop because I am bored/jealous/anxious/happy. Give me an emotion and I'll give you a reason to shop.

3. I miss receiving packages in the mail. Actually, I used to miss it. I don't really miss it anymore.

4. I buy a lot of crappy, trendy, poorly-made items. When I started "shopping from my closet", I realized that the pieces I love the most are all of my thrifted items and my more "luxury" pieces (JCrew, people. So not luxury, but luxury to me). I need to not buy little things on a daily basis and save my pennies for nicer items.

5. I am a pretty boring person when I am not shopping. As I realized during my sister's twitter campaign, I have very little to say when I am not buying things. When did this become an integral part of my persona? Why did I let shopping define me? I used to read books and take walks....ok, I never took walks, but I used to read. A lot. I have totally let shopping take up huge chunks of time, that I should rededicate to the things I love.

That being said, I want to buy the following things. Don't hate me, I am a work in progress.

American Apparel

Spotted Moth

shopbop