Spider-Man: Homecoming

Back when Tobey Maguire was introduced to us as Spider-Man (cerca 2002) in the early days of Marvel's box office barrage, it's fairly safe to say that no one thought there could have been a better choice for Peter Parker. After Spider-Man: Homecoming, that is entirely up for debate.  - Maguire is still the best American-bred actor cast to play Spider-Man, now that we've had a brief stint with Andrew Garfield (a Brit) as the Amazing Spider-Man, and now Tom Holland (another Brit) as a fourteen year old high school Peter Parker in Spider-Man: Homecoming.

So far, I have to say, DC still beats Marvel this year despite the excellent casting move of bringing in Holland to play your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.  By that I mean, Wonder Woman is still leading the pack, but this is very, very different kind of superhero movie with a lot less weight on its shoulders.  But I'll get into that a little bit later.

VITALS
Jonathan Goldstein & John Francis Daley (Horrible Bosses, The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2) - Writers*
Jon Watts (Cop Car)- Director
Tom Holland (The Lost City of Z, Captain America: Civil War) - Peter Parker/Spider-Man
Laura Harrier (The Last Five Years, 4th Man Out) - Liz
Michael Keaton (Batman, Birdman) - Adrian Toomes/Vulture
Robert Downey, Jr. (Iron Man, Sherlock) - Tony Stark/Iron Man
Jon Favreau (Iron Man, The Wolf of Wall Street) - Happy Hogan
Zendaya (I only know her as some youngin on DWTS) - Michelle
Hannibal Burress (Neighbors, Baywatch) - Gym Coach
Bokeem Woodbine (Riddick, Black Dynamite) - Herman
Jacob Batalon (North Woods...?  never heard of it and won't be seeing it, but w/e) - Ned

*The writers' filmography explains a lot about this movie.

IF YOU MUST KNOW

We first saw this new (younger model) Peter Parker as Spider-Man in Captain America: Civil War, but now he is being fully introduced in his own flick with a few tweaks to his story line.  In this version of Spider-Man, we meet him as a nerdy - bordering geeky) high school student.  He has just fought alongside the likes of Iron Man, and Black Panther (Aside: I expect his movie to be effing dope! If you haven't seen it, take a look at the link at the bottom of this page.) but is back in Queens... if that don't make you feel bad for the boy, you might be heartless.

Parker, a high school freshman, is struggling with finding his place in life; sounds like a typical coming of age story, but it isn't - although bits are thrown into Spider-Man: Homecoming.  This centers around Parker's handling of what to do post-Avengers linkup.  Along the way we see that Parker is teen crushing on the lovely Liz (Harrier), a senior who is as smart and ambitious as she is cute. By the way, we're supposed to suspend our disbelief and accept that this "girl" is just a high school senior and not just a slim, yet full-grown woman 21 Jump Streeting as a high schooler -

In Parker's quest to prove himself to Tony Stark (RDJ) and become a real Avenger, he ends up trying to thwart what seems a to be local arms dealers trafficking in the sale of converted alien technology (left over from the Avengers battle in New York).  That tech has been converted into weapons that are way too powerful and way too advanced for the men using them in low-level robberies and heists of the brand usually manageable by local heroes like Spider-Man.  When Parker attempts to bring this information to the attention of the Avengers, he gets boofed and silenced because nobody is trying to hear a 14-year old yap about what they know that no one else does (and 9/10 times boofing these kids is the right way to handle that sort of thing).  This puts Spider-Man in direct line of conflict with  the leader of the arms dealing crew, Vulture (Keaton).

Parker accidentally exposes his secret identity to his buddy, Ned (played artfully and accurately by Jacob Batalon), who literally volunteers to be Spider-Man's quintessential sidekick, or as he calls it "the man in the chair."   He's also flanked by the likes of a weird and snarky but darkly comedic Michelle (played by the almost unrecognizable and mononymous, Zendaya), who proceeds to make comments that most of us cynics would probably have thought or said if we saw our friends doing the same things as Petey Parker and Ned.  Michelle strikes the broodingly realistic tones of Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club or Raven from Teen Titans.

I try not to spoil movies by giving too many details about what happens, but I think you get it. Spidey is a teenager, with teenage problems that are complicated by his abilities.  He's had a taste of the big time and wishes for more, which further complicates his life.  Parker's surrounding crew of friends, family, PE coaches, etc., contribute both to his desire to be more than just a teenager in Queens or an obscure neighborhood hero, and also to Parker/Spidey's eventual realization of who he is and what is most important.

So, what makes this movie good, better, or meh...?  Casting was pretty good.  Liz, eh.  Not so sure about that one.   Good actress, but the combination of Harrier* and Holland makes it a bit tough to believe that there could be a romantic relationship.  Keaton played a pretty good villain. The plot landed and the script was pretty strong.  Given the writers' movie history, it makes a lot of sense why this movie was more funny than anything else.  Where the first Iron Man and Thor were witty, this movie was definitely youthfully comedic.  It was a good call to incorporate other marvel characters throughout so that there is support and continuity.  More importantly, we didn't have to see the whole Spider-Man origin story in Homecoming.  Thank you, Sweet Baby Jesus!  

Overall, it was entertaining and better than the last three Spider-Man movies, easily better than Andrew Garfield's (no disrespect he is a stellar actor, but those movies fairly mediocre).  Tough call between Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, but I would give Spider-Man: Homecoming the edge over Guardians.  It was not as much of a heavy lift as Wonder Woman was and there was nothing groundbreaking about it (plus, there was no Gal Gadot which automatically makes this a little bit less than...), so Wonder Woman wins the day.  We'll see if Marvel can top DC's latest when they release their next film in the MCU (for the uninitiated, that's the Marvel Cinematic Universe), Thor: Ragnarok - which will be premiere just before the Justice League movie in November.  Looking forward to that battle.

Note: If you are on a tight schedule, both the mid-credit scene and the post-credit scene are not worth your time.  One was amusing and one added very little to the story or experience.  I waited and watched both and as much as the post-credit scene was clever and all that good stuff it was several minutes of waiting for nothing; so, if you skip it, you'll live and no one will look at you as though you missed some super important reveal if you tell them that you left and they happened to have been foolish enough, like me, to have stayed.

* Post Review Addendum: It turns out, all of the main actors playing high school kids were born in 1996... except for one - Ms. Harrier (Parker's love interest) - she's a youngin, but let's just say - as I told my my ex-girlfriend, "you and I both know I'm always right even when I'm wrong." - I knew one of these kids was doing their own thing.

IMTHATDUDE gives Spider-Man: Homecoming: 4

RATING SYSTEM:

5 = You should be about halfway to the theatre by now… Well… GET!

4 = Definitely worth the bread. Niiice.
3 = I won’t cuss anybody out and demand my paper back.
2 = Somewhere SOUTH of under-whelmed./I know it has a pulse, but…
1 = Not a good look. They played me AND I played myself.

AFTER REVIEW EXTRAS

Doctor Strange

You almost have to see Doctor Strange in 3-D. It's the closest thing to a required 3-D viewing since Inception (before that it was Avatar - every other 3-D film is probably just a regular movie in a 3-D theater).

There are no surprises and this review contains no spoilers... well, maybe not, but you'll have to finish reading it to find out - I wouldn't want to spoil it for you if you make it through the review.

So, my big concern - before I walked into the theatre - was that Tilda Swinton played The Ancient One... Let me repeat that TILDA SWINTON played the Ancient One. I know black don't crack, so at a minimum they should have cast a brown person to play the Ancient One if they were going to veer away from the actual original background of the character that is supposed to be from the Himalayas.

But then again, Marvel has flipped a lot of things - for example, Ojiofor plays a Transylvanian Baron (translation - rich, probably kinda creepy white dude)... when you hear that do you envision a black Afro-Brit named Chiwetel in that role? Me either, but it worked.

VITALS
Scott Derrickson (Sinister, The Exorcism of Emily Rose) - Director/Writer
C. Rober Cargill (Sinister) - Writer
Benedict Cumberbatch (TV's Sherlock, Star Trek: Into Darkness) - Doctor Stephen Strange
Chiwetel Ojiofor (Serenity, American Gangster) - Mordo
Rachel McAdams (Wedding Crashers, Spotlight) - Dr. Christine Palmer
Tilda Swinton (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Chronicles of Narnia) - The Ancient One
Mads Mikkelson (Casino Royale, The Three Musketeers) - Kaecillius
Benedict Wong (Sunshine, Promethius) - Wong
Benjamin Bratt (Snitch, Ride Along 2) - Jonathan Pangborn

IF YOU MUST KNOW
Here's the gist of the story of Doctor Strange.  (Mind you, I never read the comics.  I'm a nerd, but my nerd-dom has it's limits.  I wasn't the kind of nerd that never got girls - it was just a lot less frequent than some of my friends, so I didn't have time to read every comic.  I'm exactly nerdly enough to have read too many comics to be have been a player back in ye olden day.) Where was I...?  Stephen Strange... Right... there's a movie to talk about... Steven Strange, M.D., Ph.D., is a brilliant surgeon who loses his ability to operate when he has a car accident that causes substantial damage to his money makers (the hands, people).  Doctor Strange (not Mister Strange) seeks out any way of healing that might be available and finally turns to a mysterious possible source in the Himalayas at a mystical place called Kamar-Taj.  

Dr. Strange finds himself in Nepal looking for the way back to his posh life as a hotshot, arrogant surgeon.  Aside: Interesting how Cumberbatch seems to be able to play arrogant bastards so effortlessly... it does make you wonder a bit about who the guy is, or maybe it is just his face. What's the dude equivalent of RBF?  Anyone know?
Anyway, Doctor Strange discovers that there is more to the world than what he has ever imagined and becomes an promising apprentice of The Ancient One in his search for healing.   You know as well as I do that superhero movies need the stakes to be world shaking.  There's rarely a superhero TV show or movie that focuses on a very specific locality and the inherent dangers faced in that particular area - unless you've been watching Netflix's most recent dopeness, Luke Cage.

Quickly, Doctor Strange gets enmeshed in a fight that he never anticipated and nothing but the fate of the entire world depends on him fighting the good fight - a fight that finally forces him to be concerned with something that is not about him. 

Now, if you thought you were gonna get all the action of the Avengers, Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, etc. from the guy that plays this cat...

Think again.  Tilda (that's either short for Matilda or her parents really liked that little thing in Spanish that goes over the 'n' in words like "niña" but absolutely not in words like "empanada" which I learned one drunken night in D.C. whilst searching for grub at 3am in Adams Morgan) gets more action than Benedict Cumberbatch.  ASIDE: Shouts to Julia's Empanadas on 18th Street, NW, D.C.

Moral of the story - 1) don't think for a second that your drunken 11th grade Spanish will get you anywhere with a Latina from NYC at 3am and, less important & more relevantly, 2) do not go in expecting to see an action-packed Marvel movie.  Oh, let's be clear - there's a lot of activity; by that, I mean that there was a lot of just stuff happening on the screen - buildings spinning and folding, teleportation portals opening up, and hands waving back and forth like an ethnic argument gone awry.  There was not the kind of action that one might rightfully expect in a superhero film.  No epic battles.  No cities dropping from the sky... wait... well, that kinda happened, but you get what I'm saying.  There are a few fights there, including an astral projected fist fight, but the fight choreography is weak as all hell.

The most interesting parts of this movie are visual effects and strong acting.  Never before have you seen so many people who could just as easily transition from saving the universe from invading dimensional immortal overlords to reciting the most poignant lines of the Bard at the Globe Theatre in London.

Cultural whitewashing aside (See, Tom Cruise in "The Last Samurai" or Jake Gyllenhal in "Prince of Persia," Jennifer Lawrence in "The Hunger Games" - okay, I never read the Hunger Games, but I heard she was supposed to brownskinneded, or even Elizabeth Taylor in "Cleopatra"), Tilda Swinton gave a great performance as The Ancient One and every major character enhanced the work of the other characters.  Chiwetel was not the Transylvanian Baron from the comics with the pea green leotard; instead, they opted to call him just plain Mordo and make him a bit more understated - still, he's pretty damned good in everything from "12 Years a Slave" to the enigmatic agent hunting down the crew of Serenity in the movie of the same name.  And the winner of the weirdest name in show business, Benedict Cumberbatch, was a exceptional as Doctor Stephen Strange.  I would go as far as saying he was as good a cast for the role as RDJ was for Tony Stark.  Maybe better!  Yeah, I said it.  As awesome as RDJ was as Iron Man, I think Benedict might be an even better pick for this role because who would've thunk this Brit could have pulled it off...?  But I will hold off on the final verdict until Doctor Strange II drops.  

The special effects were dizzying at times, but it begs to be seen in 3-D. Even though there was a crap ton of green screen effects, it doesn't bug you the way some movies do because the mystical world that they try to draw you into requires you to feel like you just had puffed some Purple & sipped some Lean (from what I hear...).  Unfortunately, the story was just set up for a potentially good story.  But they hit on every other aspect of the film, so there's that!

Go see it.  It's worth the distraction for a couple of hours (and it's better than Suicide Squad) and stay for BOTH post-credit Marvel Cinematic Universe teasers.

IMTHATDUDE gives Doctor Strange: 4

RATING SYSTEM:

5 = You should be about halfway to the theatre by now… Well… GET!

4 = Definitely worth the bread. Niiice.

3 = I won’t cuss anybody out and demand my paper back.

2 = Somewhere SOUTH of under-whelmed./I know it has a pulse, but…

1 = Not a good look. They played me AND I played myself.