Black Panther

Way back in July 2017 (before anybody outside of the studio execs saw more than the teaser trailer) I said that I expect Black Panther to be "effing dope!"  I may have been wrong.  It was better than that. It was SOFA.KING.DOPE it's not even fair.  It's been a long time coming... Black Panther is the first comic book movie/superhero film that actually means something AND it is absolutely top notch in terms of its quality.  It isn't "good... for a black movie" or "good, but it should have been better if they had blah blah blah..." It is legit better than best Iron Man (I) movie, better than the best Avengers (I) movie, better than the best Captain America (Civil War) better than Wonder Woman (which was the best DC movie in recent decades), and it kicks Deadpool in the nuts - and these are all movies I like!

Black Panther was stellar from the dead on perfect casting to the action and comedic writing.  The only thing that gave me pause prior to seeing it was whether the script would hold up to the expectations from Captain America: Civil War.

Shout out to Stan Lee and Jack Kirby for creating a black superhero like this back in the 1960s.  I wont dig too deep into their motivation for creating Black Panther, I'll just say... good call.  #WAKANDAFOREVER  Fast forward and we find Ta Nehisi Coates (a journalist and one of the most influential black authors of our time) has a graphic novel version of the re-imagined Black Panther that I suggest real fans pick up - it's a good read.  It was a little bit of concern to me that the names attached to this movie were relative newcomers to the big screen.  Ryan Coogler, the director, who had done Creed and Fruitvale Station; both exceptional films, but nothing on this scale. It was also written by Coogler and another newbie to this type of film, Joe Robert Cole.  Nothing they did was this kind of action and they were super dramatic.  Not to mention...  they're both BLACK!  Say whuh?  Yup.  A predominantly black cast, black writers, black director, and it wasn't a movie about sports, civil rights, or big mama... and there's nobody in the major credits whose name rhymes with Pyler Terry?  Already sounding awesome to me.

Damn near every performance is a breakout performance.  I would go so far even as to say that this should be nominated for multiple Oscars next year.  As much as I think the Oscars ain't all they're cracked up to be (otherwise Denzel would have won for Roman J. Israel and Malcolm X) - hence the birth of the Shammi Awards.

VITALS

Ryan Coogler (Creed, Fruitvale Station) - Director
Ryan Coogler (Creed, Fruitvale Station) and Joe Robert Cole (American Crime Story) - Writers
Chadwick Boseman (42, Marshall) - T'Challa/Black Panther
Michael B Jordan (Creed, Fruitvale Station) - Killmonger
Lupita Nyongo (12 Years a Slave, ) - Nakia
Danai Gurira (The Walking Dead, ) - General Okoye
Letitia Wright (The Commuter, and Black Mirror) - Shuri
Daniel Kaluuya (Get Out, ) - W'Kabi
Sterling K. Brown (This is Us, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Marshall) - N'Jobu
Matin Freeman (The Hobbit, TV's Sherlock) - Agent Ross
Angela Bassett (Notorious, This Means War) - Queen Ramonda
Winston Davis (Person of Interest, Modern Family)- M'Baku
Florence Kasumba (Captain America: Civil War, Wonder Woman) - Ayo
Cast also includes Forrest Whittaker, John Kani, and Andi Serkis

WARNING: THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN A SPOILER OR TWO  - READING FURTHER MAY NOT SUIT SOME

IF YOU MUST KNOW

King T'Chaka is dead and Prince T'Challa (Boseman) must return home to be crowned king of Wakanda, a nation believed to be a "third-world" country made up of farmers and tribes of little significance.  What should be an easy ascension to the throne becomes complicated by rivals in the time of political uncertainty - sounding familiar... if not, don't worry, you'll get there.  First, the prince is challenged by the leader of another tribe who believes T'Challa to be weak and unworthy of the mantle of Black Panther.  By way of brief background, the Black Panther is the protector and leader of Wakanda.  This title is not one that is merely bestowed based upon lineage, but there is an opportunity for worthy warriors to challenge the putative king for his spot and the Black Panther mantle - kind of like what Diddy tried to do with his show The Four. 

T'Challa has the powers of the Black Panther (heightened strength, reflexes, healing power, stamina - you know... Black people stuff) stripped away to from him to face this warrior-challenger on equal footing.  Of course he wins, but then he receives advice that all good leaders should adhere to - surround yourself with good people that you trust. So, he does precisely that.  He has the faithful General Okoye (Gurira) of the Dora Milaje, the warrior women sworn to protect the throne that make the Amazons in Wonder Woman look like Girl Scouts, mom dukes (Bassett), and bae - Nakia (Nyongo).  Interestingly, he didn't really surround himself with a bunch of dudes.  Bruh... neither would I, but we'll have to delve into that at another time.  ASIDE: The sheer number of beautiful black women in this one film does make you think, how come you don't get more of them in movies that aren't written and directed by black/brown folks?  I mean, com'on son.  These women looked good with MY haircut.  They gotta be poppin.

WARNING: SPOILER ALERT - READING FURTHER MAY NOT SUIT SOME

No sooner than he handles his first test does the next adversary step up; this one is much more unexpected than the first and it hits a lot closer to home.  This test of his leadership also comes as he also has to face internal questions of his own worthiness.

In every hero film, there's the all is lost moment.  Of course, the stakes have to be really high - not just a loss of a title, or his powers; there has to be more at risk.  If T'Challa loses this second challenge to his position, it means that he conceded or he's dead.  And either way, it means he doesn't get to do this with fam anymore:  

Anybody with a special handshake and salute will tell you that if anybody messes with that, that person is really violating and should expect trouble.  But no, that's not the only thing at risk here if T'Challa loses.  If his new nemesis, Killmonger (Jordan) happens to be successful, the once reclusive nation of Wakanda will change forever.  Change is good if you're talking Obama, but not so good if you're talking Orange grown man babies from Queens - ya dig?  Killmonger will move Wakanda into age of war and interventionism (taking their knowledge, resources, and technology to the outside world for the first time) the likes of which they have never seen before.

Ordinarily, there's enough about a movie that tickles my sardonic compulsion to clown it or belittle pieces of it.  Black Panther had a couple of moments that could have pushed it right into that realm if they lingered just a hair too long or appeared more frequently.  Fortunately, that did not happen.  Although a couple of my Blue and White Brothers had a couple of solid jokes about Keenan Ivory Wayans popping up in the movies shouting "Message!"
Truth - this movie could not be better timed or executed.  The kingdom of Wakanda is the most technologically advanced nation in the world and richer than the outside world knows.  The creators of the comic and the writers of the movie could not have anticipated comments that would be made by 45 about "s-hole" countries in Africa, Latin America, or the Caribbean when they were writing the script.  

There's more to Black Panther than just a bunch of fights and special effects - everything from the barking Jabari tribe giving CIA Agent Ross (Freeman) the business when he tries to speak in their presence, to Killmonger's "hey, Auntie," to Shuri referring to Agent Ross as a "colonizer" in the way brown women can say things playfully whilst cutting your throat (gotta love that), to the Dora Milaje busting that a$$.


Killmonger is an excellent villain.  He's a madman with a vision and a hell of a vendetta. More importantly, his mission is something that kind of makes sense and even resonates with people like me.  He wasn't trying to watch the world burn like most of those ridiculous Bond villains.  He was trying to give a forgotten people a fighting chance to flip the tables on a world that has oppressed them for hundreds of years.  You can almost cosign him.  Villains that have twisted good intentions just enough to be sinister and if they happen to match up well against the hero... that's a great villain.  Black Panther vs. Killmonger made for exceptional dramatic interplay against the backdrop of all of the socio-political issues that this movie addressed at times with a little tongue and cheek approach.  The end result is that there's really nothing to pick apart with this movie.  I'm doing my best not to give away the story and the meanings behind some of the more important lines in the movie that had this woman next to me say "Yassss" every ten seconds. Aside: Yes, she was stereotypical, but the white girl in the row behind me wasn't much better.  I could have used the Dora Milaje at iPic.  

So what the Wakandan accents were all over the place for a couple of folks; there's a bunch of tribes that make up the kingdom, maybe it's like having a Brooklyn accent vs a Jersey accent.  So what there were clear messages being dropped in this flick; more movies need to do the same.  In fact, all hero movies should be about that something important.  So what they tokenized the white dudes; it's about damned time.  This movie is culturally relevant without being a strictly FUBU.  It is pro-feminism (see Shuri, the General Okoye, and Nakia).  It's anti-empirical.  On top of all of that, it was a hell of a lot of fun to watch.  I'm looking forward to seeing it again... and then at least one more time after that.

WARNING: THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN A SPOILER OR TWO  - READING FURTHER MAY NOT SUIT SOME

There were two post-credit scenes.  

The first post-credit scene was very much a throwback to the movie that launched this whole MCU takeover, Iron Man.  It was so obvious it had to be an homage.   Now King T'Challa has a Tony Stark moment of his own.  

The second post-credit scene was not really worth staying for unless you are a real fan or movie nerd, like me.  The second post-credit scene just lets you see that one of the pivotal characters from Captain America: Civil War ended up in Wakanda.  No biggie... yet.

Black Panther comics have been around since the 60s which makes pictures like this all the more poignant - 

IMTHATDUDE gives Black Panther: 5 

RATING SYSTEM:

5 = You should be about halfway to the theatre by now… Well… GET!

4 = Definitely worth the bread. Niiice.

3 = I won’t cuss anybody out and demand my paper back.

2 = Somewhere SOUTH of under-whelmed./I know it has a pulse, but…

1 = Not a good look. They played me AND I played myself.

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Back when Tobey Maguire was introduced to us as Spider-Man (cerca 2002) in the early days of Marvel's box office barrage, it's fairly safe to say that no one thought there could have been a better choice for Peter Parker. After Spider-Man: Homecoming, that is entirely up for debate.  - Maguire is still the best American-bred actor cast to play Spider-Man, now that we've had a brief stint with Andrew Garfield (a Brit) as the Amazing Spider-Man, and now Tom Holland (another Brit) as a fourteen year old high school Peter Parker in Spider-Man: Homecoming.

So far, I have to say, DC still beats Marvel this year despite the excellent casting move of bringing in Holland to play your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.  By that I mean, Wonder Woman is still leading the pack, but this is very, very different kind of superhero movie with a lot less weight on its shoulders.  But I'll get into that a little bit later.

VITALS
Jonathan Goldstein & John Francis Daley (Horrible Bosses, The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2) - Writers*
Jon Watts (Cop Car)- Director
Tom Holland (The Lost City of Z, Captain America: Civil War) - Peter Parker/Spider-Man
Laura Harrier (The Last Five Years, 4th Man Out) - Liz
Michael Keaton (Batman, Birdman) - Adrian Toomes/Vulture
Robert Downey, Jr. (Iron Man, Sherlock) - Tony Stark/Iron Man
Jon Favreau (Iron Man, The Wolf of Wall Street) - Happy Hogan
Zendaya (I only know her as some youngin on DWTS) - Michelle
Hannibal Burress (Neighbors, Baywatch) - Gym Coach
Bokeem Woodbine (Riddick, Black Dynamite) - Herman
Jacob Batalon (North Woods...?  never heard of it and won't be seeing it, but w/e) - Ned

*The writers' filmography explains a lot about this movie.

IF YOU MUST KNOW

We first saw this new (younger model) Peter Parker as Spider-Man in Captain America: Civil War, but now he is being fully introduced in his own flick with a few tweaks to his story line.  In this version of Spider-Man, we meet him as a nerdy - bordering geeky) high school student.  He has just fought alongside the likes of Iron Man, and Black Panther (Aside: I expect his movie to be effing dope! If you haven't seen it, take a look at the link at the bottom of this page.) but is back in Queens... if that don't make you feel bad for the boy, you might be heartless.

Parker, a high school freshman, is struggling with finding his place in life; sounds like a typical coming of age story, but it isn't - although bits are thrown into Spider-Man: Homecoming.  This centers around Parker's handling of what to do post-Avengers linkup.  Along the way we see that Parker is teen crushing on the lovely Liz (Harrier), a senior who is as smart and ambitious as she is cute. By the way, we're supposed to suspend our disbelief and accept that this "girl" is just a high school senior and not just a slim, yet full-grown woman 21 Jump Streeting as a high schooler -

In Parker's quest to prove himself to Tony Stark (RDJ) and become a real Avenger, he ends up trying to thwart what seems a to be local arms dealers trafficking in the sale of converted alien technology (left over from the Avengers battle in New York).  That tech has been converted into weapons that are way too powerful and way too advanced for the men using them in low-level robberies and heists of the brand usually manageable by local heroes like Spider-Man.  When Parker attempts to bring this information to the attention of the Avengers, he gets boofed and silenced because nobody is trying to hear a 14-year old yap about what they know that no one else does (and 9/10 times boofing these kids is the right way to handle that sort of thing).  This puts Spider-Man in direct line of conflict with  the leader of the arms dealing crew, Vulture (Keaton).

Parker accidentally exposes his secret identity to his buddy, Ned (played artfully and accurately by Jacob Batalon), who literally volunteers to be Spider-Man's quintessential sidekick, or as he calls it "the man in the chair."   He's also flanked by the likes of a weird and snarky but darkly comedic Michelle (played by the almost unrecognizable and mononymous, Zendaya), who proceeds to make comments that most of us cynics would probably have thought or said if we saw our friends doing the same things as Petey Parker and Ned.  Michelle strikes the broodingly realistic tones of Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club or Raven from Teen Titans.

I try not to spoil movies by giving too many details about what happens, but I think you get it. Spidey is a teenager, with teenage problems that are complicated by his abilities.  He's had a taste of the big time and wishes for more, which further complicates his life.  Parker's surrounding crew of friends, family, PE coaches, etc., contribute both to his desire to be more than just a teenager in Queens or an obscure neighborhood hero, and also to Parker/Spidey's eventual realization of who he is and what is most important.

So, what makes this movie good, better, or meh...?  Casting was pretty good.  Liz, eh.  Not so sure about that one.   Good actress, but the combination of Harrier* and Holland makes it a bit tough to believe that there could be a romantic relationship.  Keaton played a pretty good villain. The plot landed and the script was pretty strong.  Given the writers' movie history, it makes a lot of sense why this movie was more funny than anything else.  Where the first Iron Man and Thor were witty, this movie was definitely youthfully comedic.  It was a good call to incorporate other marvel characters throughout so that there is support and continuity.  More importantly, we didn't have to see the whole Spider-Man origin story in Homecoming.  Thank you, Sweet Baby Jesus!  

Overall, it was entertaining and better than the last three Spider-Man movies, easily better than Andrew Garfield's (no disrespect he is a stellar actor, but those movies fairly mediocre).  Tough call between Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, but I would give Spider-Man: Homecoming the edge over Guardians.  It was not as much of a heavy lift as Wonder Woman was and there was nothing groundbreaking about it (plus, there was no Gal Gadot which automatically makes this a little bit less than...), so Wonder Woman wins the day.  We'll see if Marvel can top DC's latest when they release their next film in the MCU (for the uninitiated, that's the Marvel Cinematic Universe), Thor: Ragnarok - which will be premiere just before the Justice League movie in November.  Looking forward to that battle.

Note: If you are on a tight schedule, both the mid-credit scene and the post-credit scene are not worth your time.  One was amusing and one added very little to the story or experience.  I waited and watched both and as much as the post-credit scene was clever and all that good stuff it was several minutes of waiting for nothing; so, if you skip it, you'll live and no one will look at you as though you missed some super important reveal if you tell them that you left and they happened to have been foolish enough, like me, to have stayed.

* Post Review Addendum: It turns out, all of the main actors playing high school kids were born in 1996... except for one - Ms. Harrier (Parker's love interest) - she's a youngin, but let's just say - as I told my my ex-girlfriend, "you and I both know I'm always right even when I'm wrong." - I knew one of these kids was doing their own thing.

IMTHATDUDE gives Spider-Man: Homecoming: 4

RATING SYSTEM:

5 = You should be about halfway to the theatre by now… Well… GET!

4 = Definitely worth the bread. Niiice.
3 = I won’t cuss anybody out and demand my paper back.
2 = Somewhere SOUTH of under-whelmed./I know it has a pulse, but…
1 = Not a good look. They played me AND I played myself.

AFTER REVIEW EXTRAS

Wonder Woman

Let's be clear, Gal Gadot is straight fire.  I mean she could have been onscreen, sitting on a plain ole chair slowly reading Tolstoy in the original Russian - backwards - and I would be enthralled from the opening credits to the post-credit extras (if there were any... but there are not, so dont stick around Wonder Woman for that).  She's that sexy.  With all the hype and anti-hype by so-called "purists" (better known by their clinical term "maxima haterificus") that Gadot is too thin to play the amazon warrior princess, I went into the movie with a healthy dose of skepticism as to whether it really could be pulled off by someone so striking but relatively unproven as a headliner.

When Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice dropped, I was sure the best part of the movie would be Batman busting Superman's Kryptonian a$$ets, but (although Ben Affleck sucks as Bruce Wayne/Batman) I was never so happily wrong as when I found out that Gadot had completely stolen the show.  Her scenes were BY FAR the best of the film.  It should be no surprise that Wonder Woman is doing so well in the box office.  She crushes the competition out in theaters (Mummy, Pirates of the Caribbean, Alien: Covenant, and even Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. II) and demolishes every female comic book superhero, sci-fi action I have ever seen - no exaggeration.  Then again, that is not exactly the highest of hurdles.  At the charter school I work at, they ask the kids to write and cite their pieces of evidence, so please see (or do not see) the following:

Elektra (Verdict - WEAK all WEEK and 2x on Sunday)

Aeon Flux (Verdict - Wack AF)

Ghost in the Shell (cultural misappropriation aside - I skipped this bs 'cuz it looked lame) 
Verdict - Exit polls say... this lands squarely in Wack County, Wackland 

BloodRayne + Ultraviolet + (Halle Berry's prank of a film) Catwoman

Verdict = WACK, WACK, and Supremely TRASH (respectively)

VITALS
Patty Jenkins (Monster) - Director
Alan Heinberg (if you ever saw a Shonda Rhimes show, you know his writing)- Writer
Zach Snyder (300 and Sucker Punch) - Story By
Gal Gadot - Diana Prince/Wonder Woman
Chris Pine - Steve Trevor
Connie Nielsen - Hippolyta
Danny Huston - Ludendorff
Robin Wright - Antiope
Elena Anaya - Dr. Maru

IF YOU MUST KNOW:
(And I'll keep this part brief...) Steve Trevor crashes and finds himself being rescued by Diana, Princess of Themyscira.  If ONLY... He brings with him tales of a war that that endangers humanity. Diana, much to the chagrin of her mother, Queen Hippolyta (Nielsen) leaves her Amazonian sisters and paradise home to fight the great war.  Of course, Diana is convinced that Ares, the god of war, is behind this great war - I said she was fire, I didn't say she was perfect... (She's Gal Gadot, not Jade Eshete - if you don't who she is, check out Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency).  Having spent most of her life, from adolescence to full grown womanhood, training harder than any amazon has ever been trained, Diana ready to fight whoever.

SPOILER ALERT

Antiope (Wright), Diana's aunt and chief trainer - the baddest warrior woman on the island -catches a bad one and the war (WWI) is brought directly to the Amazon's shore. Diana feels compelled to join the fight to save humanity and her big fish out of water story begins there as she begins to scratch the surface on the breadth of her powers.  She works with Trevor (Chris Pine) to uncover and foil a plan by the sinister Ludendorff (Danny Huston) to use a new weapon of mass destruction that could slaughter millions.

Wonder Woman has always been one of my favorites, but for absolutely no feminist reasons.  Sure, I was in love with Linda Carter's Wonder Woman reruns when I was a kid because she was half-naked; but I had respect for Wonder Woman since she was flying her invisible jet on retrospectively lame, and occasionally racist, Super Friends -

There's about a million reasons to love Wonder Woman.  She's a woman.  She's not some alien who comes to earth and basically is a better human than humans.  She's a princess, but not a spoiled little rich brat (in the way Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark are... no shade).  She gets her powers from birth - albeit by via deities.  Wonder Woman was a dope AF superhero because she stood for the best of humanity and always fought for what was right and could always do whatever her male counterparts - especially if that counterpart was lame ass Aquaman - could do, and often do it better - and look good doing it.  I have always had an affinity for strong women in comics, films, literature (fiction or fact).

This film could be summed up in the scene when Diana poses this question -

And, back in ye olde London, England, when Trevor's secretary explains to Diana Prince what she does as a secretary, Diana quips poignantly.  What's awesome about this superhero is that she doesn't walk into the world of men assuming the cultural gender roles are rules to be obeyed or honored.  She just does what she does and she's unapologetic about it.  That... reminds me of my closest female friends and relatives.  The men around her, who were also relatively heroic in their own right, failed to act when facing seemingly insurmountable odds, but Diana literally pops on a headband, pulls out a sword and gets busy.  It's this sort of dichotomy that smacks you upside the head and makes Wonder Woman so incredible as a character and more than tolerable despite her genuine goodness.  When anti-heroes and anti-heroines abound (Batmans, Ironmans, etc.), Diana Prince/Wonder Woman is the truth.  She's the reason why my smartest and coolest female have "always loved WW" and even dressed up like her for Halloween (I see you, pemora - that pic on IG is priceless!); even for those who didn't read comics at all, they know, respect and love WW.

ASIDE: Superman cannot beat Wonder Woman, you dig? Some may argue it, but he can't. SUPERMAN... and his only weakness is Kryptonite - and possibly corny women.  Wonder Woman bests Superman, who is supposedly the best of us and she does this after being trained by a bunch of kickass women in a paradise shrouded from the realm that contains men.  There's something something poetic and compelling about a character like that.  It's no wonder (pun unintended) that this movie resonates with men and women.

Thankfully, this film was directed by a woman who understands that no one (men or women) enjoy one-dimensional characters or one-dimensional movies enough to make it a success across demographics.  Patty Jenkins captures the right amount of humor, drama, and nuance.  The film isn't perfect, but it really is very good.  Impressive even because of all that it managed to do.  It redefines a genre without being pretentious, self-aggrandizing. or smug in it's own political correctness.  It goes a bit off with the Steve Trevor-Diana Prince romantic piece near the end (but those concerns are merely stylistic).  It also drags a bit with the big fight scene.  The twist is good, but it was not unpredictable which is really a writer + director problem - it's tough to camouflage that kind of thing without completely avoiding any foreshadow, but they have a lot of screenwriting power behind the movie, so it would have been awesome for me to be properly misled.  I was not.  Nevertheless, Wonder Woman is the second best movie of the year (and the only one I've seen better is a different genre).  Aside from Get Out, I haven't seen a movie better than Wonder Woman this year, but the summer is just beginning...

IMTHATDUDE gives Wonder Woman: 4

RATING SYSTEM:

5 = You should be about halfway to the theatre by now… Well… GET!

4 = Definitely worth the bread. Niiice.

3 = I won’t cuss anybody out and demand my paper back.

2 = Somewhere SOUTH of under-whelmed./I know it has a pulse, but…

1 = Not a good look. They played me AND I played myself.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

The movie trailer has includes #WhoWillWin  - the short answer is... not us!  Dawn of Justice was a little on the boring side.  It's less that this was a bad movie, it was a lame near lifeless movie that would have been trashworthy if it wasn't for the lovely and talented actress who played Wonder Woman.  This movie should be re-titled Batman v Superman: Waiting for Gadot (I know some of you will get that).  

They created a startling crap load of story problems going forward, but I'm gonna skip those for now and just say that this is your one and ONLY SPOILER ALERT...SPOILER ALERT...SPOILER ALERT.

VITALS
Zac Snyder (300, Watchmen, Man of Steel) - Director
David S. Goyer (Dark City, Blade II, Batman Begins) and Chris Terrio (Argo) - Writers

Amy Adams (The Fighter, American Hustle) - Superman's Boo Thang
Henry Cavill (Immortals, The Man from U.N.C.L.E.) - Clark Kent/Kal El/Superman
Gal Gadot (Fast & Furious, Triple 9) - Diana Prince/Wonder Woman

Ben Affleck (Gone Girl, The Town) - Bruce Wayne/Batman

Jesse Eisenberg (Zombieland, The Social Network, American Ultra) -
Jeremy Irons (Kingdom of Heaven, Beautiful Creatures, Race) - Alfred
Holly Hunter (The Piano, The Firm, Won't Back Down) - Sen. Finch

Tao Okomato (Wolverine, and Amazon's The Man in High Castle) - Mercy
Honorable mention to Lawrence Fishburne, Diane Lane, and Rebecca Buller.

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

Okay, I lied, this is your last warning - SPOILER ALERT!  You had your chance... 

Bruce Wayne (Affleck) witnesses one of his office building destroyed and some of his employees die tragically in the wake of the big fight scenes, spliced into this film from Man of Steel - when Superman and General Zod (Michael Shannon) go toe-to-toe through Metropolis.  The seeds of Wayne's disdain for the son of Jor-El were hatched on that day.  Fuel is added to that fire by billionaire wunderkind Lex Luthor (Eisenberg), who is bananas and mangoes in this film - and not the hilarious, yet brilliant criminal mastermind that Gene Hackman was in the original Superman movies or even the dude that played Luthor in Smallville.  

The best parts of this movie, by far, were the ones that involved Wonder Woman/Diana Prince.  I think that is incredible given Gal Gadot was eviscerated in the blogosphere when she was announced as the next Wonder Woman.  They said she wasn't tall enough, or thick enough, or whatever.  But when you look back at Lynda Carter, you have to think that those critics were morons. Gal Gadot has some depth in her acting that a lot of pretty girls that fit the bill (like Megan Fox) in Hollywood don't have at all.  Her and Amy Adams save this movie.  Eisenberg as Lex Luthor was weird and weak.  

First Mistake - Ben Affleck was the most wooden-emo Batman since Val Kilmer.  Not as cool as Keaton or as grounded as Bale.  Plus, he will always be Daredevil to me - not the cool one with the dope show on Netflix; the one that put the breaks on the entire DC comic book movie experiment. Much like he had to do in this interview, Henry Cavill had he unenviable task of trying to carry Affleck and make the shi#y casting of Ben look halfway decent.  Superman failed.  I just don't think Affleck is suited for this sort of stuff; the acting (particularly in action films) should be left to Matt Damon (said in my Team America World Police voice).

Side Note: Daredevil and Elektra were two of my least favorite superhero movies in life (that includes thehighly garbage Flash Gordon and post-Keaton/pre-Bale Batman movies).  

Anyway, Wayne and Kent meet, battle lines are drawn, and in short order there is beef and no secrets between them. One thing leads to another and Lex, in the interest of protecting the planet against the potential tyranny of Superman, gets his hands on some Kryptonian technology and builds what he calls a Doomsday weapon to fight and destroy Superman.  For Superman fans, you know what Doomsday means for Superman.  And if you aren't fans, well... use that obviously sharp mind of yours (and we know you are smarter than smart because you are reading UrbanRhetoric).  Doomsday = Superman dead.  If he dies, Clark dies.  Hence the story line issues for movies going-forward.  Obviously Supe's coming back - like he did in the comics.  He has a couple of Justice League movies to do.  

Let's be clear.  Dawn of Justice isn't straight garbage; it's just lame and a bit disappointing.  This movie seems to have done the impossible - I began thinking Superman is better than Batman.  He was in the movie.  Batman was easily manipulated.  They didn't give us enough of what this should have been.  There should have been more fighting between the titular characters.  Ironically, there's better fight choreography in a single episode of Daredevil, than there was in this entire film.  This would have been better if we had less Lex.  Better use of Amy Adams.  More Wonder Woman.  A lot more Wonder Woman.  In fact, I'm officially looking forward to when she gets her own origin story on the big screen soon.  The only other highlights are when the other Justice League members (Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg) make an appearance by way of the Inhuman Files.

PS: They didn't have the decency to give us a tiny glimpse at what the next movie is going to be about or even to throw a scene from the upcoming Wonder Woman movie.  What kind of utter disdain must the studio have for them to not even bother with a easter egg on Easter weekend?  I call BuSh!

IMTHATDUDE gives Dawn of Justice: 3 (BARELY - because Gadot brings this up by one full point)

RATING SYSTEM:

5 = You should be about halfway to the theatre by now… Well… GET!
4 = Definitely worth the bread. Niiice.
3 = I won’t cuss anybody out and demand my paper back.
2 = Somewhere SOUTH of under-whelmed./I know it has a pulse, but…
1 = Not a good look. They played me AND I played myself.