Rhetorical Questions [The Wedding Story]
By JBoogs
Since it is wedding season, I have decided to share one of my favorite wedding stories. I was present at this event. Feel free to ask me questions.
Aren’t small town weddings great?
Have you ever been to a small town rental car agency where they don’t have your reservation because you booked your car online? What about the fact that all types of cars were the same price?
Been to a wedding in a small town in west Texas?
Have you ever planned on arriving at a wedding on time so you did not have to spend much time with the guests?
Have you arrived at a wedding location on time to find 3 dudes hanging out drinking beer at the entrance?
Have you arrived at the wedding location on time to find out that the wedding time has been moved from 1pm to 7pm due to a fight the night before between the bride and the host?
Is it a problem when you and your date are the best dressed/only dressed-up people at this event?
Have you ever hung out in a double-wide while the bride reconciles with the host to have the wedding at its original location?
Have you had your “Spidey senses” tingle so much that you knew the day would only get more colorful?
Is there anything wrong with taking the bride to McDonalds for lunch the day of her wedding?
When was the last time you had to pick up the maid of honor at her house that was a converted motel? Is a sheet as effective as a front door?
How much should your wedding cake cost?
Should it cost more than my plane ticket? Should it cost more than everything at the wedding except the drinks? Should it cost that much when you are buying it from a local supermarket? Should it have mini water fountain that requires you to buy the battery separately?
Are trailer parks romantic places to get married? What about the backyard of a trailer?
Is the hardcore rap channel on Dish Network good music to welcome guests?
Should guests that people just met be in charge of set-up (chairs, Tiki torches, etc…)?
Have you seen the guest trailer in the backyard used as the dressing room for the groom and his party? Make sense since the bride and her party were getting dressed in the trailer?
Have you seen the groom and groomsmen in all white tuxedos? In the west Texas clay dirt? Without a hem in the pants? How hard is it to remove red clay dirt from white tuxedo pants?
What would you do if a woman drops off the pastor and asks you to give him a ride back to a town that is 45 minutes away?
What do you like to eat at weddings? Chicken wings? Carrot sticks? When was the last time you left a wedding hungry?
What do you like to drink? Shasta grape, orange or fruit punch? PBR anyone?
What should the bride and groom have as their special drink? Alize anyone?
What do you talk about with a pastor for 45 minutes while driving him home?
Did you know that Amarillo Boulevard is world famous for its “night life”? Of course you did?
What do you think when the pastor asks to be dropped off at a gas station on Amarillo Boulevard?
Are you curious about the newlyweds and where they are now?
Let’s just say there are no surprises.
UrbanRhetoric
UrbanRhetoric
Showing posts with label jboogs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jboogs. Show all posts
6.29.2010
3.15.2010
Rhetorical Questions [March Edition]....by JBoogs
Rhetorical Questions
[March Edition]
by Jboogs
- Can African American actors win an Oscar for playing a positive character?
- Will Mo'Nique stop yelling now that she won an Oscar?
- Are you ready for the new season of the Boondocks in May?
- Have you seen “How to Make it in America” on HBO? Its kind of like the east coast version of Entourage. Kind of like how the movie “Juice” is to “Boyz in the Hood”.
- Is Ben Roethlisberger the white Michael Irvin/Pacman Jones off the field?
- Did you see Hurt Locker?
- Do you feel bad for Chris Brown’s sagging record sales and airplay?
- Does anyone believe that Tiger’s wife did not beat him up for cheating on her?
- When was the last time that Saturday Night Live was this consistently funny?
- Should Michael Jordan change the name of the Charlotte Bobcats to reflect his legacy?
- How many more celebrities will die as a result of illegal prescriptions? RIP Corey Haim, Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger etc…
- How Green are you?
- Are you excited about the Ipad? Tell me how it is.
- With Lil Wayne finally going to jail, will we have some Lil Wayne-free radio time?
- Why didn’t people watch Conan O’Brian when he was on TV?
- Is the Matt Damon movie the “The Green Zone” just a spinoff of the Bourne Identity series?
- Eric Masa? Tickling? Really?
- Has Americas Best Dance Crew run its course?
- Will Obama ever get anything passed? Will they let him?
- So the state of Texas gets to decide what’s in our textbooks? Have you seen the new revisions?
- Do you know who Wes Moore is? Check out the book “The Other Wes Moore”.
- Did we forget about Haiti yet?
- Is anyone else nervous when they see a new Toyota driving down the street or alongside you?
- Did anyone else watch curling during the Olympics?
- Why did CBS update the March Madness closing theme of One Shining Moment to be performed by Jennifer Hudson instead of Luther Vandross?
1.02.2010
What I Learned This Decade...by JBoogs
What I Learned This Decade [2000-2009]
By Jboogs
- OJ’s luck ran out on him (sorry for the pun)
- Reality TV is here to stay
- Rappers used to go to jail and then rap about it. Now they become rappers and then go to jail
- Bill Clinton still matters
- The levees were broken and that “George Bush does not like Black people”—Kanye West
- What hand sanitizer is
- Sean Combs/Puff Daddy/Diddy cant stop, wont stop because he does not know how to stop
- What Haliburton is and its connection to Dick Cheney
- Friendster is the coolest social networking website
- Myspace is the coolest social networking website
- Facebook is the coolest social networking website
- What Weapons of Mass Destructions are but NOT where they are
- What a hanging chad is
- That I should not sign-up for credit cards for the cool t-shirt or sports bag. Same goes for the Army.
- Saturday Night Live can be funny again (Thank you Sarah Palin and Digital Shorts)
- Some financial institutions are more important than others
- What a Ponzi scheme is
- How strong the following of PETA is
- There are only 8 planets
- Rudy Guliani cannot stop talking about 9/11
- That Michael Jackson’s following spans generations
- What a ringtone is
- Wazzzzupp!!!!
- California can legalize medicinal marijuana but cannot legalize same-sex marriage
- What Itunes and an Ipod are
- Al Gore can re-invent himself
- Colin Powell got set up when he had to go to the United Nations
- Mission was not accomplished
- Who Osama Bin Laden is but not where he is
- What a wardrobe malfunction is
- Cocaine is a hell of a drug and that there are only 3 rappers that spit hotfire: Dylon Dylon and Dylon (Thanks Chapelle Show and Charlie Murphy)
- Tiger Woods can dominate a game that does not want him around
- Steroids are illegal but standard in most sports
- The NBA could be fixed (think playoffs)
- My president is Black
Happy New Year, Folks!
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