Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

The movie trailer has includes #WhoWillWin  - the short answer is... not us!  Dawn of Justice was a little on the boring side.  It's less that this was a bad movie, it was a lame near lifeless movie that would have been trashworthy if it wasn't for the lovely and talented actress who played Wonder Woman.  This movie should be re-titled Batman v Superman: Waiting for Gadot (I know some of you will get that).  

They created a startling crap load of story problems going forward, but I'm gonna skip those for now and just say that this is your one and ONLY SPOILER ALERT...SPOILER ALERT...SPOILER ALERT.

VITALS
Zac Snyder (300, Watchmen, Man of Steel) - Director
David S. Goyer (Dark City, Blade II, Batman Begins) and Chris Terrio (Argo) - Writers

Amy Adams (The Fighter, American Hustle) - Superman's Boo Thang
Henry Cavill (Immortals, The Man from U.N.C.L.E.) - Clark Kent/Kal El/Superman
Gal Gadot (Fast & Furious, Triple 9) - Diana Prince/Wonder Woman

Ben Affleck (Gone Girl, The Town) - Bruce Wayne/Batman

Jesse Eisenberg (Zombieland, The Social Network, American Ultra) -
Jeremy Irons (Kingdom of Heaven, Beautiful Creatures, Race) - Alfred
Holly Hunter (The Piano, The Firm, Won't Back Down) - Sen. Finch

Tao Okomato (Wolverine, and Amazon's The Man in High Castle) - Mercy
Honorable mention to Lawrence Fishburne, Diane Lane, and Rebecca Buller.

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

Okay, I lied, this is your last warning - SPOILER ALERT!  You had your chance... 

Bruce Wayne (Affleck) witnesses one of his office building destroyed and some of his employees die tragically in the wake of the big fight scenes, spliced into this film from Man of Steel - when Superman and General Zod (Michael Shannon) go toe-to-toe through Metropolis.  The seeds of Wayne's disdain for the son of Jor-El were hatched on that day.  Fuel is added to that fire by billionaire wunderkind Lex Luthor (Eisenberg), who is bananas and mangoes in this film - and not the hilarious, yet brilliant criminal mastermind that Gene Hackman was in the original Superman movies or even the dude that played Luthor in Smallville.  

The best parts of this movie, by far, were the ones that involved Wonder Woman/Diana Prince.  I think that is incredible given Gal Gadot was eviscerated in the blogosphere when she was announced as the next Wonder Woman.  They said she wasn't tall enough, or thick enough, or whatever.  But when you look back at Lynda Carter, you have to think that those critics were morons. Gal Gadot has some depth in her acting that a lot of pretty girls that fit the bill (like Megan Fox) in Hollywood don't have at all.  Her and Amy Adams save this movie.  Eisenberg as Lex Luthor was weird and weak.  

First Mistake - Ben Affleck was the most wooden-emo Batman since Val Kilmer.  Not as cool as Keaton or as grounded as Bale.  Plus, he will always be Daredevil to me - not the cool one with the dope show on Netflix; the one that put the breaks on the entire DC comic book movie experiment. Much like he had to do in this interview, Henry Cavill had he unenviable task of trying to carry Affleck and make the shi#y casting of Ben look halfway decent.  Superman failed.  I just don't think Affleck is suited for this sort of stuff; the acting (particularly in action films) should be left to Matt Damon (said in my Team America World Police voice).

Side Note: Daredevil and Elektra were two of my least favorite superhero movies in life (that includes thehighly garbage Flash Gordon and post-Keaton/pre-Bale Batman movies).  

Anyway, Wayne and Kent meet, battle lines are drawn, and in short order there is beef and no secrets between them. One thing leads to another and Lex, in the interest of protecting the planet against the potential tyranny of Superman, gets his hands on some Kryptonian technology and builds what he calls a Doomsday weapon to fight and destroy Superman.  For Superman fans, you know what Doomsday means for Superman.  And if you aren't fans, well... use that obviously sharp mind of yours (and we know you are smarter than smart because you are reading UrbanRhetoric).  Doomsday = Superman dead.  If he dies, Clark dies.  Hence the story line issues for movies going-forward.  Obviously Supe's coming back - like he did in the comics.  He has a couple of Justice League movies to do.  

Let's be clear.  Dawn of Justice isn't straight garbage; it's just lame and a bit disappointing.  This movie seems to have done the impossible - I began thinking Superman is better than Batman.  He was in the movie.  Batman was easily manipulated.  They didn't give us enough of what this should have been.  There should have been more fighting between the titular characters.  Ironically, there's better fight choreography in a single episode of Daredevil, than there was in this entire film.  This would have been better if we had less Lex.  Better use of Amy Adams.  More Wonder Woman.  A lot more Wonder Woman.  In fact, I'm officially looking forward to when she gets her own origin story on the big screen soon.  The only other highlights are when the other Justice League members (Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg) make an appearance by way of the Inhuman Files.

PS: They didn't have the decency to give us a tiny glimpse at what the next movie is going to be about or even to throw a scene from the upcoming Wonder Woman movie.  What kind of utter disdain must the studio have for them to not even bother with a easter egg on Easter weekend?  I call BuSh!

IMTHATDUDE gives Dawn of Justice: 3 (BARELY - because Gadot brings this up by one full point)

RATING SYSTEM:

5 = You should be about halfway to the theatre by now… Well… GET!
4 = Definitely worth the bread. Niiice.
3 = I won’t cuss anybody out and demand my paper back.
2 = Somewhere SOUTH of under-whelmed./I know it has a pulse, but…
1 = Not a good look. They played me AND I played myself.