Man of Steel [review].....by IMTHATDUDE

It’s not that Superman 3 (minus a couple classic Richard Pryor lines) and 4 and Superman Returns all sucked hairy… rocks, it’s just that they were really not good; the latter not as much as the others, but Superman Returns was silly.  How Superman pickup a whole island of kryptonite?  KRYPTONITE!  And Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor sounded like brilliance, but turned out as well as Russell Crowe singing show tunes (Les Miserable performance, from what I heard).  I was a legit fan.  There’s a reason some people have referred to me as Black Seinfeld.  I even named my old crib the Fortress of Solitude – for so many reasons - too many to go into now.  (Now, I just call my place my “Lair.”)

Man of Steel made me re-like Superman flicks.  FINALLY.  Superman wasn’t some pretty boy in blue tights and a red accent cape.  You could respect this cat.  Superman wasn’t a punk AND he makes you want to hit the gym & get your weight up – while still acknowledging that not everybody can be superman.

VITALS

 

Zack Snyder – Director

David S. Goyer - Writer
Christopher Nolan (story)

Henry Cavill (Immortals, Stardust) – Clark/Kal/Superman

Amy Adams (The Master, Doubt) – Lois Lane
Michael Shannon (Boardwalk Empire – General Zod
Kevin Costner  – Jonathan Kent
Diane Lane – Martha Kent
Laurence Fishburne – Perry “are you kidding me” White
Ayelet Zurer (Angels & Demons, Munich) – Lara
Russell Crowe (Les Miserables, Gladiator) – Jor-El
Christopher Meloni (Law & Order)– Col. Hardy

Antje Traue (5 Days of War, Pandorum) – Faora-Ul

 

IF YOU MUST KNOW: 

Kal-El (Cavill), son of Jor and Lara, is sent to Earth as an infant because his planet is dying.  He is found and raised by the Jonathan (Costner) and Martha Kent (Lane) on a farm in Smallville, Kansas.  He was named Clark by his adoptive parents and - you don’t really need to know this part.  

What you don’t know - unless, you’ve already seen the movie, or, you were in it - – or, you have the interwebs - or, somebody else told you – whatever… maybe you do know, but at some point you were completely unaware that Goyer and Nolan have flipped the Superman story in significant areas.  There are some things that I, as a non-reader of the DC Comics, found really compelling, like Kal-El being the first natural birth on Krypton in generations, like General Zod (Shannon) being more than just a renegade soldier, like Jor-El being a bit of a highborn badass even though he was a scientist and having an actual history with Zod that was more than just the former banishing the latter into the Phantom Zone (for the newbies, that’s the Kryptonian version of a maximum security prison) for a failed coup d’etat.

As the Krypton is destroyed, Jor-El manages to get his super anchor-baby over to the United States.  And, just like those border “protecting” gun-lovers said it would… crime goes way up.  Who knew?  Better watch out for those illegals, I tell ya.

When Zod and his squad of super villain, fellow-exiled soldiers arrive on Earth, the body count begins to rise along their path of epic destruction, which is actually pretty good for the economy.  Zod demands that we turn over Kal-El and Kal-El has to reveal himself to the world.  Lois Lane (Adams) does her reporter thing.  And Perry White (Fishburne) is BLACK.  BTW: It’s worth noting, Kryptonians might be related to the Elves in Peter Jackson’s Hobbit flicks.  They, too, have a zero brown population.

Rule Number 1 for any action movie – The Villain has to be legitimately dangerous and believable.  Rule Number 2 - Eye candy is mandatory, but eye candy that can kick ass is tremendous.  Goyer’s use of Faora-Ul (Traue) was just awesome.  This raven-haired German practically stole the show from Michael Shannon – who was a great villain.  But I haven't enjoyed watching a man get his slapped around by a woman since... Wonder Woman did it to Superman on that Justice League cartoon.  (Sorry, Superman.)

Things to consider in the next round… 1) having Laurence Fishburne run in front of a green-screen.  That looked terrible.  He hasn’t been Morpheus in a long ass time. 2) Add a smidgeon of levity.  I can’t remember one thing I laughed at aside from #1. 

Overall, it was definitely worth the bread (not the 3D bread, but the regular ticket doe).  Definitely dramatic with a lot of heart and surprisingly poignant moments, and still highly entertaining.  It’s Superman… reborn.

NOTE: There are no easter-eggs/post-credit teasers.

ImTHATdude gives Man of Steel:  4

RATING SYSTEM:

5 = You should be about halfway to the theatre by now… Well… GET!
4 = Definitely worth the bread. Niiice.
3 = I won’t cuss anybody out and demand my paper back.
2 = Somewhere SOUTH of under-whelmed./I know it has a pulse, but…
1 = Not a good look. They played me AND I played myself.