Black Swan [review]....by IMTHATDUDE

Black Swan

microwave review

Written by Mark Heyman and Andres Heinz, this new film by Brooklyn boy Darren Aronofsky (Requiem for a Dream, The Wrestler) is aight, but I’m sorry to say, the more time I have to think about it - the more lame I think the movie was. There were some great things about it. Cinematography, dramatic performances by Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis, visual effects… yet… increasingly lame. So I talked to one of my fellow movie addicts after she saw it and she had a couple of simple ideas that would’ve made it a better movie – ideas different from the things I thought would’ve made it a better movie. The point is, if two non-movie makes can sit through the critically acclaimed film and come up with a bunch of easy fixes that could make this movie tighter, better, smarter, or cooler, then the movie can’t be THAT good.

It wasn’t. Like I said, it was just aight.


The story’s about Nina (Portman), a troubled up and coming ballet dancer, and her pursuit of perfection in the performance of her live – Swan Lake. That’s all folks. That’s all you MUST know.

Again, Natalie Portman’s performance was stellar, as usual. Hopefully, she went out and had some grub IMMEDIATELY after this movie was over. FYI: Natalie will be costarring in my sleeper pic of 2011, Thor – directed by the great Kenneth Branagh. You heard it here first - great expectations for Thor. It looks so much better than the other stuff on the horizon (like Green Lantern and Green Hornet).

Mila Kunis, impressive yet again – she was the best thing about two crappy movies in a row (Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Book of Eli). Who’d’ve thunk that Jackie from That 70s Show would turn out to be the best actor on the show? Mila is one of the two best things about Aronofsky’s flick. I hope she starts getting larger roles and better movies really soon.

That Dude gives Black Swan: 2.5 (that number could drop by the time I get around to doing my best of 2010 list)


1. They make crap this pure?
2. Couldn’t be more under-whelmed.
3. Not too shabby, I won’t ask for my money back.
4. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good./Worth the 12 bucks.
5. Why are you reading this and not seeing this movie? Jackass.

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