What Would You Do?.....by missDTM

recently a friend said something that was on some...well, hipster racism shit...and it didn't sit very well with me at all. it felt like a moment straight out of "what would you do" - it makes you go, "ummmm?" while simultaneously thinking, WTF! it left a bitter, sour, nasty taste in my mouth.

you see - not only did he reference how he, as a white man, can wear a hoodie safely and how someone we both know cannot, he actually said it twice. and he laughed because, you know, it was all part of a joke. haha?

in the moment i didn't say anything because we were in a very social environment and, to be honest, i didn't want to come off as the angry friend. he does tend to say some pretty insensitive/controversial things at times and i often feel like i definitely have to pick my battles when i'm around him. i already know what arguments he would use to defend his ability to make comments like this (i don't even want to get into what they are since they're pretty typical for people who make these comments) but as i ignored what he said i was simultaneously thinking, "oh no he didn't!" 

besides this joke being way too soon, i'm not sure that this "joke" will ever be acceptable to me from anyone. it's a fact of life for too many young people for it to be funny and a constant reminder of white privilege that he, and a lot of people, don't seem to recognize. yes, my friend's life is so much easier because he don't have to worry about whatever he's wearing and how others will perceive him. but there are a lot of people in the city of ny and all over the USA that do. and just because my friend is "aware of the injustice of it all" doesn't mean that it's appropriate make a jokes at the expense of people who are seriously affected by this. 

it bothered me to my core because if i have a son i will constantly worry about him wearing clothing that will mark him as a target. i worry now about my bf being targeted by people (he's unaware of that but i guess now he knows). so it will take more than just being "aware" of the injustice of it all for anything to actually change.

so, i ask....WHAT WOULD YOU DO?


  1. tbh I don't think anyone should have to worry about what they wear, its the attitude they carry with it.
    The old adage- never judge a book by it's cover.. so true.

    You can tell when someones shady, clothes etc have nothing to do with it.

    You just need to be perceptive and keep an open mind..

    Of course, you girls know all this...I'm just speaking my mind whilst waiting for my tea to brew :)

    Big love x

  2. Sigh. I am well acquainted with the hipster racist. Yet another aspect of white privilege is that it falls on us, POC, to constantly school them on what is and is not appropriate to say, because so often the hipster racist thinks that socializing with brown people absolves them of any responsibility for their remarks and actions. Then we worry about being the angry black person or fiery Latino/a when we did nothing wrong. But we can't let that keep us from speaking up. Staying silent makes us complicit. So two responses come to mind:

    1. Oh yes, getting chased down and shot because of your clothing is always funny.
    2. You're an ass.



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