World War Z [review]....by IMTHATDUDE

Fast zombies and swarming zombie walls aside, this was about as dry a zombie flick can get.   To paraphrase Katt Williams - this movie was so THIRSTY it came with a straw. 

WWZ is not a Zombie apocalypse flick.  It’s a thriller.  But it’s parched.  Here are some zombie flicks that were NOT boring (granted 2 of them are comedies) 28 Days Later, Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, Resident Evil (1), Night of the Living Dead, and Night of the Comet. (yes, Night of the Comet – classic 80s flick with all of its cornball cheesiness).  Each one more likely of being watched again before I see WWZ again. Sorry, Brad.  I’m sure my UR review will have him very upset at the poultry $60M opening and crying himself to sleep in Angelina’s bed.  But Brad, The Walking Dead shows more graphic violence than WWZ (they cut away from Brad smashing in a zombie dome with a crowbar) – that’s amazing that such a watered down flick could be so thirsty.

VITALS

Marc Forster (Monster’s Ball, Quantum of Solace) – Director

Matthew Michael Carnahan (State of Play) – Writer

Drew Goddard (Cloverfield) - Writer

Brad Pitt (Seven, Mr. & Mrs. Smith) – Gerry Lane

Mireille Enos (Gangster Squad, AMC’s The Killing) – Gerry’s Wife

Daniella Kertesz (rookie… never seen her in anything else) – Segen (Israeli Soldier)

James Badge Dale (The Conspirator, The Grey) – Capt. Speke

Fana Moekena (Safe House, Hotel Rwanda) - Thierry Umutoni (UN Official)

 

And a bunch of other folks who don’t survive long enough to bother remembering their names in the movie or listing them on UR.

IF YOU MUST KNOW: 

A sudden outbreak of Zombies sees the return of Gerry Lane (Pitt) a former UN security agent of some nature.  I never knew the UN had kickass agents, but WWZ would have us believe that, so I suspended my disbelief for the sake of the movie-going experience.

Lane is basically conscripted into the service of the UN in order to ensure the safety of his family to go on a virtual suicide mission.  The assignment, take the world’s best hope (a scientist) into what they believe is ground zero of the outbreak and find a way to stop the spread of this pandemic.  Well, that plan went to hell. Not because Pitt failed to silence his cell phone (he must not have seen all those reminders before the movie).  Not because there was a lack of WD40 for some bicycles (you’ll understand if you watch it – which is not a suggestion by any means).  Not because the wall built in anticipation of some sort of threat of this nature was compromised because some idiot in Israel decided to test out their Beats by Dr. Dre system (you’ll understand if you watch it – which, again, is not a suggestion by any means).  The plan is shot to hell because… well, I can’t tell you why.  Let’s just say, it is the only twist in the movie.  Everything else was completely predictable.

There were some good spots where you watched with baited breath, but nothing ever really happened.  I hate that.  If you put the lead in jeopardy a lot and nothing happens, I get bored.

Sometimes a good story and talented cast and good cinematography result in movies that still are underwhelming.  World War Z is the dictionary definition of that.  The good news about WWZ is this… it’s gotta be better than The Lone Ranger. So there’s that, kemosabe.

ImTHATdude gives World War Z:  2

RATING SYSTEM:

5 = You should be about halfway to the theatre by now… Well… GET!
4 = Definitely worth the bread. Niiice.
3 = I won’t cuss anybody out and demand my paper back.
2 = Somewhere SOUTH of under-whelmed./I know it has a pulse, but…
1 = Not a good look. They played me AND I played myself.