Furious 7

They saved the best for last!  F&F fans have to like this one. [No one should count Tokyo Drift, but somehow they made it all work with this one.]  I never thought that subtracting the hottest Israeli exports since the Jericho Pistol, Gal Gadot (the upcoming, and some might say controversial, Wonder 
Woman in the forthcoming Batman/ 
Superman flick) would manage to yield a better movie.

VITALS

James Wan (Insidious, Saw) Directs
Chris Morgan & Gary Scott Thompson (Wanted, 47 Ronin) pen it.

Vin Diesel (Riddick, Boiler Room) is Dominic Toretto
Paul Walker (Brick Mansions, Takers) is Brian O'Conner
Jason Statham (The Mechanic, Expendables) is Deckard Shaw
Michelle Rodriguez (Avatar, Machete Kills) is Letty
Jordana Brewster (Annapolis, American Heist) is Mia
Tyrese Gibson (Transformers, Death Race) is Roman
Ludacris (Crash, RocknRolla) is Tej
Dwayne Johnson (Pain & Gain, Hercules) is Hobbs
Nathalie Emmanuel (Game of Thrones, Misfits) is Ramsey
Other notable appearances include Kurt Russell, Rhonda Rousey, and Elsa Pataky.

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

Furious 7 finds us not long after the events of Fast & Furious 6.  If you stayed for the teaser after F6, you know that the bad guy had a "big" brother - which was the BEST part of F6, then you already knew about that.  If you haven't seen F6 - go back and read the review.  I'm pretty sure ThatDude who wrote it would appreciate you doing so. 

Shaw is seeking vengeance for his not-dead but crippled and comatose younger brother which takes him directly in the path of Hobbs (Rock) and that leads him to the gang.  Han is killed (not a spoiler, technically, I think he's killed twice in the series).  Shaw hunts down the rest of them, but not until he introduces himself to Dom (Vin Diesel).  ASIDE: Vin Diesel's been around a long time and people in the theater were asking each other if he was biracial or black, or he "just seems pretty black for a white dude." Real words from a random kid in the theater.  I find that amusing; although I doubt Diesel does.  But then again he did this sh# - for serious.

Back to the flick... the hunt is on.  

<-- This happens and one would think the movie should be over, but it's really just getting started... and inexplicably doesn't result Statham's death (not Shaw, I mean real life Jason Statham survived) - look how little his fist looks compared to the Rock's vein...  That's why I always root for Statham.   Villain or not.  There's a shortage of tough little SOBs in this world and J Stat's one.  

Then, there's this whole side note thing.  Strike that.  This particular subplot happens to be fairly high on my list of babymamas.  If you know me, you know that I am not generally a fan of British accents, but I would certainly make an exception for this subplot. (See, FN)  So, the subplot is about a hacker called Ramsay (Emmanuel).  I love her in GoT, her brief stint on Misfits, and I love the writers and director for casting her to play the hottest hacker on the face of the earth.  It's because I like smart... and cute and I haven't any proof to the contrary about my subplot, so I'm willing to extend her the benefit of the doubt unless proven unequivocally wrong. 

So, the gang has to jump some hurdles to get to Shaw, this hacker gets thrown in the mix, all the while Shaw is trying to get to Dom's gang.  The rest of the flick is adrenaline on top of humor with sprinkles of humor (thankfully not left to solely Tyrese to deliver - go back to sangin, bruh.  Your good at that.)

Blissfully, there were only unbelievable fights (most were well choreographed, but still with unlikely results) and car chases that did not involve speeding planes on never ending runways, but did involve building hopping in the whip; overall, there's nothing to this movie but high octane and passable doses of humor and emotion.  This is a man's version of a movie with heart.  This is OUR version of Pretty Woman - you remember that ridiculousness that women loved in yea olden day - hooker with a heart of gold business.  Sure it is absurd from start to finish.  Sure you have to check some of your wit at the door.  But damn it was fun.  You wont feel like you learned anything about life, or yourself, and you shouldn't expect a family speech by Vin Diesel to evoke emotion (although Michelle Rodriguez gives it a good go).  However, it was worth saying once and now repeating.  Damn, this movie was fun.

FN:  About the accent thing, I generally feel it is still connected to imperialism, subjugation, and genocide, but cloaked in some new perceived erudition.  But that's another story for another day (accents I also have some negative feelings about - Lon G'Island, Souf Jerseyan, Minnesotan, Afrikaans, and hard-Gaelic.  Sorry, but tis true).  


IMTHATDUDE gives Furious 7: 4

RATING SYSTEM:

5 = You should be about halfway to the theatre by now… Well… GET!

4 = Definitely worth the bread. Niiice.
3 = I won’t cuss anybody out and demand my paper back.
2 = Somewhere SOUTH of under-whelmed./I know it has a pulse, but…
1 = Not a good look. They played me AND I played myself.

PEACE TO PAUL WALKER