Thor: The Dark World

I HATE Chris Hemsworth.  I really do.  Not like I hate Tyler Perry.  I will absolutely go to see a Hemsworth movie (Rush was pretty damned good).  It’s more akin to hating-ON than actual hatRED.  I just don’t want to watch a movie and feel like I need to go hit the dayum gym for self-esteem purposes.   

VITALS

Alan Taylor (lots of TV – US & British, including Mad Men & Game of Thrones)– Director

Christopher Yost (Marvel cartoon series writer), Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely (Captain America: The First Avenger, Pain and Gain – don’t have to see that to know it sucked). 

Chris Hemsworth (Red Dawn, Rush – good flick, see it) - Thor

Kat Dennings (Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist, Two Broke Girls - the funny one) - Darcy

Christopher Eccleston (GI Joe: Rise of Cobra, Dr. Who… the 9^th Doctor, BBC TV ) - Malekith

Natalie Portman (Black Swan and other stuff) - Jane Foster

Anthony Hopkins (that’s SIR Anthony to you!) - Odin

Idris Elba (Luther, Prometheus) - Heimdall

Renee Russo (Thomas Crown Affair, Ransom) - Frigga/Thor’s mama

Tom Hiddleston (Midnight in Paris, Warhorse) - Loki

Stellan Skaarsgard - Erik Selvig

Other cast members include Zachary Levi (Chuck), Ray Stevenson, Jaimie Alexander and, of course, the Great Stan Lee. 

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

Dark Elves, led by Dr. Who… I mean Malekith (Eccleston) have been all but vanquished by Thor’s (Hemsworth) grandpops.   Or have they?  Don’t be mad. If you think that’s a spoiler, you should never read a movie review/opinion ever again… ever-ever.   The Dark Elves come back with a vengeance (literally) and they are hell bent on plunging the universe into darkness.  (Every time I think of the word “darkness” one of two voice pop into my mind – Dave Chappelle’s Rick James or Tom Hardy’s Bane.  Debate is open about which one is funnier to imitate.  Discuss…)

So, Odin (Hopkins) is about ready to hand over the throne to Thor (Hemsworth) but the reawakening of the Dark Elves threatens Midgard – where Jane Foster (Portman) lives aka Earth.  That being said, Thor decides to think with his… let’s call it heart.  Jane’s in trouble and Thor can’t have that, so he tries to rescue Jane realizes that all the beef with the dark elves and the girl trouble is intertwined.  At that point, and even before, the movie becomes everything the advertisement leads one to believe it is.  Unlike certain other films that shall remain named – The Counselor! 

There’s a lot of comic booky jokes and even more beat downs.  Fun stuff all around.  I can’t complain about one thing in this movie.  I think they even heard the thoughts that I thought were unsaid by me… like they should let Kat Dennings be more prominent in the flick because Natalie Portman kind of bores me in this.  I think the only thing I vocalized about the first movie remains true in this movie.  Portman (as tremendously talented and easy on the eyes as she is) seems to be outside of her element in these types of campy action films.

Oh... I always take subtract points for male nudity of any kind, so Erik Selvig’s (Skaarsgard) nekkid pale a$$ running around (shown or implied) translates into –1/2 points and the replays would typically bring that up to a a full point, butt – there was some comedic value to it.  So, it stays at half a rating point.  The only other issue with the movie was that it has a lot to live up to after having watched The Avengers repeatedly in the last few months.

Overall, Thor: The Dark World has a great cast, good writing, nice action sequences and none of that Michael Bay Transformer stupidity (you know, the annoyingly over drawn out fight sequences that last longer than any and all other interesting scenes in the movie combined).  It's definitely worth the ticket price, but you can skip the 3-D flick.  It should be just as entertaining in the regular format.  PS: Do yourself a favor and stay for both easter eggs - TWO scenes post credits.)

IMTHATDUDE gives Thor-The Dark World: 4

RATING SYSTEM: 

5 = You should be about halfway to the theatre by now… Well… GET!
4 = Definitely worth the bread. Niiice.
3 = I won’t cuss anybody out and demand my paper back.
2 = Somewhere SOUTH of under-whelmed./I know it has a pulse, but…
1 = Not a good look. They played me AND I played myself.