Book of Eli....by IMTHATDUDE

Book of Eli

by IMTHATDUDE

Let me start with what I liked about this movie… the cast, the direction (mostly), and the concept.  Somehow all of those working parts managed to go tragically wrong at the end.  I was fully ready to lambaste the other morons who review movies, right up until the last couple of scenes in the Book of Eli.  The Hughes brothers (Menace II Society, From Hell) direction was solid right up until somebody decided that they wanted people to laugh hysterically at the end.  Gary Whitta wrote the screenplay – a good effort with some interesting points, but rendered impotent either by miscues in direction or the powers that be trying to set up potential sequels.  It was a relatively gritty movie, with a credible cast, but great movies are made in the details.  Mila Kunis (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, That 70s Show), cute & talented as she is…

she’s not exactly the right look for a post-apocalyptic dystopia; neither is Jennifer Beals (Flashdance, The L Word).  Not unless you make them look the part. And, for the record, smudging a little dirt on their cheeks or dressing them in leather jackets doesn’t do the trick.  Hot women cannot be so casually masked to fit into the gritty scene built up by all the other activity and people surrounding them.  They fit in about as well as Lebron James at a Klan rally (sheets off). 

Denzel Washington (Mo’ Better Blues, Training Day), Gary Oldman (The Contender, Batman Begins) and Ray Stevenson (HBO’s Rome, Punisher: War Zone) have all been parts of much better efforts. 

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

It is after the war, and there are pocket of civilization that have survived around the country – if you can call it “civilization.”  Eli (Washington), an enigmatic lone wanderer heads west with a book in his possession; a book he has vowed to protect at all costs.  Carnegie (Oldman) runs a settlement in typical dystopian tyrannical fashion.  Carnegie, a book lover and holdover from a time when a fair amount of people could actually read (although, I’m not sure when that time is, is in search of the book Eli happens to have in his possession.  When their paths accidentally converge, all hell breaks loose.  The power hungry Carnegie is desperate to have this book and when he finds out Eli has it, he will sacrifice everything to get it.

As for the rest of what happens, I’ll sum it up like this… Solara (Kunis) tries to escape Carnegie’s clutches by following Eli.  Eli reluctantly takes her along.  Then there’s a couple of fights, a couple of stand offs, mixed in with some shaky handed cannibals (because that’s what folks have been driven to with the lack of food), and a little bit of silliness and there you have the movie.

Let’s face it, these kinds of movies have never REALLY been objectively good films, including the Mad Max/Road Warrior movies.  I’m sorry, but if any of those movies were in the theaters today, they’d flop.  They were cult classics, which is fine, but that doesn’t make them good.  The Book of Eli fits right in with the rest of these kitschy flicks.  Not to be taken seriously.  The problem with Eli is that it had the real potential to be a stand out.  But it failed.  The details, man… the details. 

One of my frat brothers said he “loved” the film.  “LOVED” - he even thought enough of it top make it his facebook status.  I don’t have to tell you how vitally important something must be in order to make it onto a status message on FACEBOOK. (Yes, that’d be sarcasm, for my slower friends.  To be read slowly “I Stillllll Llllllove Yooooou.”)  At first, his status update troubled me with respect to his taste and overall competence to recommend films to anyone, much less a chronic moviegoer like me.  Every cult classic has one thing in common… a cult!  Keep up with me, folks. So, upon further consideration, I think he just happens to be one of those people that make up the cult – so to speak. 

Anyway, in my humble opinion, I thought the Book of Eli should have been closed a few minutes before the people who made the movie.  To the best of my recollection, I haven’t been so disappointed with the ending of a movie since the Matrix: Reloaded.  The way Eli wrapped was strange enough to cause many people in my theater to literally guffaw.  No knock to Mila or the Hughes brothers, but that scene had no place in this film and made me consider going to lie to the manager to get a movie pass so I could at least feel like I didn’t actually pay for them to how is it do they say… “make the sex to me.”

If you are pressed to see this flick, by all means.  A fool and his doe are soon part…  Otherwise, wait for the DVD.

That Dude Gives the Book of Eli: 2

RATING SYSTEM:

1. They make crap this pure?
2. Couldn’t be more under-whelmed.
3. Not too shabby, I won’t ask for my money back.
4. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good./Worth the 12 bucks.
5. Why are you reading this and not seeing this movie? Jackass.