Robin Hood....by IMTHATDUDE [review]

Robin Hood

by IMTHATDUDE

This will be quick, unlike the movie.  I know there’s at least one woman reading this right now with jokes.  To you, I say… Whatever.  I was tired and it was a tough week.

Robin Hood, otherwise known as the next installment in the Russell Crowe/Ridley Scott series (previous collabos include Gladiator, American Gangster and Body of Lies).  This version of the Robin Hood legend is written by Brian Helgeland (Man on Fire, Mystic River), so you should expect you would be wise to expect a little less merriment from Robin Hood’s men. 

Max von Sydow (Minority Report, Shutter Island) who will forever be Ming the Merciless from Flash Gordon, - what an awesome crappy movie.  I suggest you rent it.  Pure comedy.  Von Sydow is Sir Walter Loxley, Robin Loxley’s padre.

 Cate Blanchett (The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons, Notes on a Scandel) is Marion Loxley

Oscar Isaac (Che: Part One, Body of Lies) is the young upstart, Prince John.

Mark Strong (RocknRolla, Sherlock Holmes) is Godfrey – Prince John’s trusted friend

Eileen Atkins (Gosford Park, Last Chance Harvey) Eleanor of Acquitaine

William Hurt (Syriana, A History of Violence) plays William Marshall (think Colin Powell, the advisor who served more than one administration)

& Danny Huston (30 Days of Night, Clash of the Titans) is King Richard

IF YOU MUST KNOW

Do you really need to know this?  He robs the rich and gives to the poor, falls in love with Marion in England back in ye olden dey, etc., etc.  A noble knight/archer in the king’s army who comes home from fighting for England and King Richard the Lion Heart, a cat with some serious over-compensation issues, should you decided to read up on him.  Or you could skip the labor of reading and watch one of the best movies I’ve seen in decades – The Lion in Winter (the original one with Katherine Hepburn and Peter O’Toole – yes, I laugh when I say that name, but he’s an awesome actor.)

Really, it’s Robin Hood, not “The Death of Ivan Ilyich.”

Just be advised that this is an appreciably different take on the Robin Hood legend, but I don’t think it deviates so significantly that you don’t get the drift.  If I told you more, I’d be telling you the movie and you know I wouldn’t do that to you.

Good News: No Kevin Costner (although, I guess Auzzie accents officially pass for Brittish ones, now…?) no men in tights, no feather in his cap, and they incorporated some of the real proven historical aspects of this whole drama into the movie.

Bad News:  You can’t help but notice how much time you’re sitting there watching this movie.  That is never a good thing.  Run time: about 2:15/2:20.

The war/fight scenes were cool, but this is Ridley Scott so it’d be safe to assume that the guy who made Gladiator would produce some good battle scenes.  The dialogue was good; nice mixture of humor and wit, but something was missing.  So what was it?  The French call it a certain “I don’t know what.”(he says in his best a Brooklyn-French accent… which, as it turns out, sounds a bit Hatian.  Go figure.)

Recommendation – go see it, why not.  It’s not like Iron Man 2’s any better.  I guess we’ll have to wait a while longer for the first DOPE summer movie; it’s only fair, since it’s not summer yet although you can’t tell that to the blancita that just walked by me in this coffeeshop – not that there’s anything wrong with that.

That Dude Gives this flick: 3

RATING SYSTEM:

1. Curses.  I got GOT! 
2. Couldn’t be more under-whelmed./I gave them my hard earned cash for this clunker?
3. Not too shabby, I won’t ask for my money back.
4. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good./Worth the 12 bucks.
5. Why are you reading this and not seeing this movie? Jackass.

Iron Man 2....by IMTHATDUDE [review]

Iron Man 2

by IMTHATDUDE

Smart money says Iron Man 2 will bring in close to $117M (domestic) this weekend, but that don’t mean it’s as good as the original.   The arguably upgraded cast doesn’t make it better either (despite the additions of Cheadle, Rockwell, Johansson, Garry Shandling, and Rourke).  Of course the primaries from the patently AWESOME original flick that set a new standard for action comic book movies, rivaled only by Christian Bale’s Batman flicks.  Robert Downey, Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Leslie Bibb, Sam Jackson, and Jon Favreau are all back.  Don Cheadle pinch hits for Terrence Howard (I heard it was over bad bread, don’t know fo’ sho, but that’s what I had heard). 

Jon Favreau’s back behind the cameras again, but they went with a different writer - Justin Thoreaux Tropic Thunder – I have to say, I’m equally surprised by the move and the fact that Thoreaux had the nerve to pick the pen back up on this one.  Good thing he did, too – or I’d have no respect for the cat.  This was a decent script.  Not remotely as good as the first one, but it was above average.

Action junkie that I am, I took what passes for my free time to run out and see Iron Man 2 immediately – notwithstanding my own apparently well-founded intuition that it wouldn’t be able to measure up to the dopeness of its predecessor.  Scarlett Johansson next to Gwyneth Paltrow in tight business suits and stilettos… yes, that is fresh all by itself - My fight to resurrect the pervasive use of the terms “fresh” and “dope” continues.  Some people can’t let go of jheri curls or wearing their pants below their crotch despite having on cinched up belts – me, I have “fresh” and “dope.”

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

After defiantly admitting to the world press that he IS Iron Man, Tony Stark (RDJ) has been hauled in front of some dumb ass panel of Senators regarding the creation of and possession of the Iron Man “weapon.”  Stark, the billionaire CEO of the family’s weapons manufacturing and defense contract business, continues a seemingly spiraling downward pattern of recklessness as he brushes off the Senate panel (chaired by Sen. Stern (Shandling)) in a brazen display of flippancy and culminating in the verbal attitudinal equivalent of flipping the bird.  To her dismay, Pepper Potts (Paltrow), his trusted personal assistant, dormant love interest and conscience, nervously observes her friend’s self-destructive behavior – and by self-destructive, I mean more so than normal.  Colonel Rhodes (Cheadle), Stark’s best friend, is getting pissed with Tony’s behavior and has had just about enough.  He’s ready to take whatever steps are necessary to right the ship, if Stark can’t handle things – including resorting to a military style intervention.  For my legal heads or former residents of Brooklyn’s Atlantic Yards – think Eminent Domain.

Meanwhile, Stark’s business rival, the hapless Justin Hammer – tired of constantly being upstaged - seeks any advantage available to snake away business from the Stark and to embarrass the man who has repeatedly given him a business bitch slaps him at every turn.

And if all that doesn’t grab you (and I doubt that it did)… there’s a big tatted up angry Russian genius ex-con named Ivan Vanko (Rourke) with a major grudge against Stark, Stark’s company, family and alter-ego.  But worse than all that… Vanko has a computer, a metal shop, street connects, and a tv.  Let Iron Man 2 tell it, the Department of Homeland Security aint sh!t.  Vanko decides to strike out at an unprepared Tony Stark and “make god bleed” so the “sharks will come.”

The movie, like everything else in life, only gets interesting when the “sharks” come out.  It took a little while but then the action and one-liners started to rain relentlessly.  As much as I love my action flicks with unnecessary violence, the random placing of innocent civilians in harms way, the random debris, collapsing buildings, the litany of bullets fired by otherwise accurate people that never seem to hit or damage the stars or the target of the bullets… ”Boom!  Explosive!”I have to admit, I do enjoy a good one… but I just didn’t care with IM2.  For example, there was this scene when one of the robots points a loaded gun at a little kid – fully prepared to merc him – I was a little hyped.  For one moment I was hoping they’d bust a cap in that stupid little brat, like ”Bloaw!  That’s what you get for not holding your mother’s hand, ya little bastard.” Just for a second… but, seriously, that would’ve brought a tiny bit of edge to an otherwise soft movie.  A little bit of edge would have been a welcome addition to this action-comedy; instead, it was like watching Rush Hour 3 (not I or II, but III) with robots and lasers.  Even still, I guess it was okay.  Hindsight: I wouldn’t run out to see it on day one, but it was aight.

The disappointing parts of this movie were probably all direction issues.  Sam Rockwell and Mickey Rourke were pretty lackluster.  I thought Rockwell… didn’t and Mickey Rourke (accent – very cool) literally howled at one point and it was entirely too unintentionally Black Dynamite.  In general, the lack of intensity in the film made it noticeably weaker than the first.

Now, let me tell you what was hot about it:

              1) Gwyneth Paltrow and

and Scarlett Johansson.  NIIIICE.

2) RDJ was being Robert Downey, Jr. – Born to play Tony Stark in the same way Matt Damon was genetically engineered to play Jason Bourne.

              3) Cheadle is THE most underrated actor in Hollywood.  Name one person more underrated than Don Cheadle… Go ahead… I’ll wait… You can’t.  Even if you could, you’d be wrong, so I’m just going to move on now.

 

              4) The double-entendre, sarcasm and sexual innuendo.  I really liked how the majority of the target audience (Mensa applicants, the lot of them) for this movie turned out to be too dumb to catch all of the jokes thrown at them. 

             

              5) The introduction of some more members of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the hints at undoubtedly upcoming the Avengers movie.

Aside: Shout out to Garry Shandling.  Just his facial expressions make me laugh.

Overall, it was pretty good in a “thank God it wasn’t Tropic Thunder” kind of way.  IM2 is a little too goofy for my liking (with respect to action movies), but it was good enough to not be a waste of money. 

PLEASE NOTE:  There is an easter egg waiting for you if you stay until after the credits finish rolling.  BUT… It is SOOOOOO not worth waiting for.  I suggest that you google it and save yourself the time and nuisance of waiting for it. I’d skip the IMAX experience and catch a MATinee experience instead. 

That Dude Gives Iron Man 2: 3

RATING SYSTEM:

1. Curses.  I got GOT! 
2. Couldn’t be more under-whelmed./I gave them my hard earned cash for this clunker?
3. Not too shabby, I won’t ask for my money back.
4. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good./Worth the 12 bucks.
5. Why are you reading this and not seeing this movie? Jackass.

The Losers...by IMTHATDUDE [movie review]

The Losers

by IMTHATDUDE

By now, most of you know that I’m a recovering Zoeholic

Six months sober.    Thank you, thank you.  It has been hard. No pun intended.  I just mean that she is everywhere these days – but she isn’t why I hustled to see the Losers.  Syke, nah.  She is EXACTLY why I hustled out to see the Losers and it was almost worth the effort.  In a season where moviegoers will be treated to such other intellectually stimulating and hard-hitting unoriginal films as the Expendables (with Stallone) and the A-Team (with Bradley Cooper), how does one choose which flick to risk throwing away your money?  Simple answer:  the one that boasts a repeatedly half-nekkid Zoe Saldana.  Hence, my stub. (Hmmm, okay, so I did intend that pun, but in fairness to me, I did also just see a movie a movie called the Losers because there was a half-nekkid woman in it, so... I think you see who you’re dealing with here.)  Aside:  Eff you, James Cameron.  Eff you for getting me to buy the Avatar Blu-ray/DVD Combo with no extras of anything on them.  You sadistic bastard.  Now, I have to wait until November to know how 10-feet tall blue Afro-Carribean-esque alien/human-hybrids bone.  Bloody hell!  Just for that, I’m going to wait at least 24 hours to see your next movie.  That is your punishment, my friend.  Deal with it.

Directed by Sylvain White (Stomp the Yard) and penned by the ever-intriguing Peter Berg (Very Bad Things, Friday Night Lights – big and small screen) and james Vanderbilt (Basic and the Rundown), the Losers is the big screen adaptation of a graphic novel by the same name – or so I had heard.  Full disclosure: I cain’t read!  The Losers stars my girl Zoe (Star trek, Avatar), Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Watchmen, Taking Woodstock), Idris Elba (Obsessed, RocknRolla), Chris Evans (Fantastic 4, Street Kings), Columbus Short (Cadillac Records, Armored), Oscar Jaenada (Che: Part II), and Jason Patric (Narc, In the Valley of Elah). 

IF YOU MUST KNOW

A bad ass band of military specialists headed by Clay (Morgan) have just been betrayed by the CIA on foreign soil after a botched mission.  Presumed dead – in this day and age, even CSI Bed Stuy would’ve known that they faked their own deaths [NOT A SPOILER.] – and biding their time until vengeance can be served upon those responsible, these misfits/outlaws meet up with the mysterious Aisha (Zoe), who offers to help get them back stateside for payback of the injustice done to them. 

Yada yada yada… the Losers find out who jukked them and this erratically entertaining pissed off ex-military crew take Aisha’s offer and go after Max (Patric), the CIA agent responsible for their predicament.

Long and short of it all - Max, the villain was only mildly entertaining (writing or directing issue, not really an acting one from what I could tell) and the plot twists were predictable, so much so that I thought maybe I was wrong and they did manage to shift away from the paradigmatic roadmap of archetypal character interplay.  Not sure I know what I just said, but it kind of sounded right in my mind for a second, so I’m going to leave it that way.  Of course, I was right… as usual.  No surprises in this movie, which is fine.  But all action movies have a twist or two – all GREAT action movies have at least one unforeseen twist that makes it impossible to properly gauge the course of the remainder of the film.  Here, for me, there was no such game changer. 

Sure, there’s a brief moment of Zoe side-boob, but that’s not nearly enough to raise this movie to the level of a movie like Iron Man.  But then again, it was kinda cool.  Fine.  This movie is a guilty pleasure flick.  Nothing about it was particularly awesome, but there was definite entertainment value.  I enjoyed it, even after they insulted my action moviegoer intelligence with their super-secret new weapon concept (the “Snuke”). The bad guy was weak despite shooting someone in the face, the plot was eh, but there’s enough of the explosions and comedy to make this acceptable – that, and Zoe make it worth seeing (DVD or time killer on a weekend).

DAMMIT!  I’m that dude and I’m a Zoeholic.  I’ve been sober for two sentences.

That Dude gives The Losers:  3 (I’m deducting a full point for the Snuke and the completely unintimidating villain.  If you see it, you will too.)

RATING SYSTEM:

1. They make crap this pure?
2. Couldn’t be more under-whelmed.
3. Not too shabby, I won’t ask for my money back.
4. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good./Worth the 12 bucks.
5. Why are you reading this and not seeing this movie? Jackass.

But I Get Props like a Slogan...by pemora

But I Get Props like a Slogan
by pemora

I have resisted from writing/thinking/talking too much about Guru's passing, mostly because I am so upset about the aftermath of his death.  The supposed deathbed letter, Premier's truly touching remarks, MC Solaar's role in all of this (fyi, to my SATC friends, MC Solaar's song was the one playing when Carrie missed the dinner party thrown for her in Paris. Full circle, huh?), its all been too much.

Instead, I have been digging through my baby daddy's CDs and updating my ipod with all songs Gang Starr.  Not surprisingly, all of these songs both make me feel nostalgic and hold relevance.

Enjoy.

Clash of the Titans [review]....by IMTHATDUDE

CLASH OF THE TITANS

by IMTHATDUDE

I’m sure they did the right thing from a fiscal perspective (by they I mean the actors and the producers), but they did this audience member  a disservice; while not an all out assault on my intelligence, it was certainly a Bugs Bunny brick in the glove slap.  I was trying to figure out how to work in something about preferring to see 2hours of a Teen Titans movie in 3D, but I refuse to put more effort into my jokes about this Clash than they put into the directing, production and writing.  Andy Montana, my homebody, had a good line with something about sinking like the Titanic, but I don’t remember exactly what he said and I wouldn’t want to steal his joke like the director Louis Leterrier (Transporter 2, The Incredible Hulk) and writers Travis Beacham (Dog Days of Summer…?  Never saw it, don’t think I want to if Clash is any indication) and Phil Hay (Aeon Flux, Crazy/Beautiful) stole my money and time – because that would just be plain ole wrong.

(ASIDE:  I never want to hear anybody complain about being broke again.  Not only did this crap make over $60M, but “Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married Too?” made $30M this weekend.  If Americans have that much money to spend on a Tyler Perry flick, I say STFU about a recession and unemployment rates.)

THE PLAYERS:

Sam Worthington (Terminator: Salvation, Avatar) as Perseus, bastard son of Zeus (in the truest since, he literally doesn’t know who his father is and then when he learns the answer, he doesn’t accept him.  Sam, I want to believe you can act.  I really do, but you’re going to have to do a lot better than the last few flicks have suggested.  Something tells me you can; although you could just be the Auzzie Keanu Reeves.

Liam Neeson (Batman Begins, Taken) as Zeus, king of the gods. Dang, Liam, how the mighty have fallen.  What next?  The A-Team movie?  Oh wait, yes.  That IS what’s next for you.  I guess as long as they cut the right check, it’s all good.  I can’t knock your hustle.

Ralph Fiennes (The Constant Gardener, and Voldemort from the Harry Potter flicks) as Hades, disgruntled brother of Zeus & ruler of the underworld.  I think I know where Ralph FIENNES (sorry, that was very Gene Shalit of me) his inspiration for this role.  Mumm Ra from the Thundercats. 

Gemma Arterton (Rock n Rolla, Quantum of Solace ) as Io, the never aging demi-god who watches over Perseus.

Alexa Davalos (The Mist, Defiance) as Andromeda, the supremely hot daughter of a heretical king and queen of Argos who have defied the gods – which includes toppling Zeus’s statue.

Mads Mikkelsen (King Arthur, Casino Royale) as Draco one of the warriors of Argos sent on a mission with Perseus.

and Mac as the likely computer platform used to create a lot of the visual effects used in the movie. 

Also noteworthy is the sexy in green Natalia Vodianova as Medusa.

With a budget of over $120M, you’d think they could have spent a few more days on the story.  I know it’s a remake, but the first one was basically a B-movie, so when you remake a B-movie, here’s a little suggestion… MAKE IT BETTER.  I’d rather watch Harry Hamlin futz around with the stop-motion animated Kraken monster than the CGI- laden 3D waste of good graphics that was Clash of the Titans. 

IF YOU MUST KNOW:

Zeus (Neeson) thinks his creation (mankind) has lost their collective minds and forgotten their place.  Hades (Fiennes) approaches Zeus with a plan to get people to respect and worship the gods again.  SPOILER ALERT!!!, Hades is a bit of a devil, so it would behoove anyone dealing him to be aware of his duplicity.  That and he was apparently tricked into ruling over the underworld. 

Riddle me this: How does a filmmaker make a woman easy on the eyes like Gemma Arterton (Io) – while half-naked in a mini-toga LESS hot? Answer: Cast her in Clash of the Titans. 

Anyway, the plan is to unleash the Kraken and punish Argos for mocking and defying the gods thereby turning mankind back to the waiting arms of Zeus who loves them.  DO I have to say it?  Do I?  Fine.  Zeus is a dumba$$ and so am I for paying to see this movie.

Do not - I repeat - DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE IN 3D.  Under no circumstances is it worth $16 to venture out into the unpredictable land of a movie audience (with their strollers and text messages and cell phone convos and talkative dates) and watch a movie of this caliber for that amount of doe.  I promise, you will feel equally as entertained simply staring at your $16 for a couple of hours. 

All in all, I recommend watching this movie on an airplane if you have an insanely long flight or Netflix.  Aside from that, I’d save my money for something slightly less lame (but not Hot Tub Time Machine – that was pretty lame too.  The microwave review will be done soon.) 

That Dude gives Clash of the Titans: 2

RATING SYSTEM:

1. They make crap this pure?
2. Couldn’t be more under-whelmed.
3. Not too shabby, I won’t ask for my money back.
4. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good./Worth the 12 bucks.
5. Why are you reading this and not seeing this movie? Jackass.

New Amerykah Pt. 2 [review]....by MissDTM

New Amerykah Pt. 2 [review]
by MissDTM


i need to start by saying this:

there is absolutely nothing wrong with this album. nothing. 

badu's vocals and beats are on point, the flow of the album is perfection, and the lyrics are filled with the emotion we saw back in the days of "baduizm". i literally adore this album.

...this is coming from a girl who rarely listens to albums from start to finish.

...and refused to listen to "new amerykah part 1" when it was released.

i really want to sit here and tell you to just listen to the whole damn thing from start to finish. on repeat. but i can understand if you need some convincing. we've all heard (or seen the video for) "window seat" by now so let me tell you something--get off of your ass and listen to "gone baby, don't be long" then "turn me away (get munny)" to be reminded of a classic beat, before listening to "fall in love (your funeral)". if those songs don't convince you to listen to the whole thing, then there's nothing else i can say to convince you.